azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)
My brain has been acting up on me, and last night was not the greatest of nights. (I was, in fact, reminded of 1999.)

Then I went off to dinner with Purple, who gently observed that I seemed to be about half-speed, then held my hand while we complained about politics. He had a touching level of faith in the unwillingness of Indiana parents to not ask for their children to be tortured in the name of Getting Straight. And I provided some thoughts on the torture facilities euphemistically known as "wilderness survival camps" and their ilk.

And I got back home, and found that my sweetie's dating site profiles very cheerfully mention a primary partner. Me. I am touched beyond belief.

So a mixed bag, but getting better.

💙💙💙
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)
  • Sun, 23:18: RT @NitrateDiva: Traditional Twitter Blessing: May you never make a typo in a tweet that goes viral.
  • Mon, 00:42: Three months today officially with my sweetie. We're still completely insufferable.
  • Mon, 05:31: RT @NWSBayArea: Patchy fog currently being observed, mainly N Bay Valleys with visibility is as low as 1/4 mile. Allow extra time for morni…
  • Mon, 05:31: RT @NWSBayArea: Sunset in #SanFrancisco tomorrow (Dec 6) is at 4:51 pm, the earliest sunset of the year. Shortest day is Dec 21 (winter sol…
  • Mon, 09:32: https://t.co/EKoUOitOGw I feel that McDonald's & bagpipes are not a great mix, but I'm Alaskan so what do I know. (moose belong outside tho)
  • Mon, 09:43: Now Is the Time to Talk About What We Are Actually Talking About https://t.co/bJnS6wRNCi via @newyorker
  • Mon, 09:59: A small and happy thing: to curl up on the virtual floor of my morail, and discover that my matesprit is there too. <> <3 #homestuckrefs
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)
Monday was a quiet day. I had dinner with Purple. It was unremarkable, other than the way I was a little sneezy.

A little sneezy turned into explosively sneezy and then my sinuses were an impassable wall of woe. I got approximately three hours sleep, out of 7+ horizontal.

Tuesday was not a great day. I realized that I should not be driving anywhere. I also had a care package to send, a package to pick up, and building plumbing problems. I made the best of it, and walked to the post office to grab a shipping box.

On the way there, the sleep department in Oakland called me to let me know that they saw that I had an appointment in SSF, did I want to take that appointment in Oakland too? I wasn't near the computer, so I had no idea; I wasn't expecting the call, and I had three hours of sleep. I had no idea, and very little vocabulary to put things together. I informed them to email me.

I sent a care package of old tech off to my Gentle Caller. The great thing about flat rate boxes is, it's the same price to send a small box with three bits of old electronics as it is to send that same box with three bits of old electronics, two plastic bracelets with a plastic recorder and a plastic maraca each, a baggie of glitter, and a handful of dark chocolate.

And that was only Tuesday. )
azurelunatic: part of a triangle filled with alternately black and red hearts, increasingly smaller in a sierpinski triangle pattern (matesprit)
To whom it may concern:

Yes, my Gentle Callersecurity: filtered is in a polyamorous/open relationship with me, started 5 September 2016. I am theirs and they are mine, as long as we both wish it. We are expected to see to our own safety first, before taking care of each other.

I am an autonomous adult who can make my own decisions about what to do with my body, time, and attention, including shared orgasms and other sexual contact and kissing. My Gentle Caller is likewise an autonomous adult. Sexual and romantic exclusivity has never been a part of this relationship.

I expect that any partner of my Gentle Caller's will treat them with an appropriate amount of respect, courtesy, and kindness. My Gentle Caller expects this of any partner of mine. We expect the use of barrier methods, with other partners and with each other. Read more... )
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)

My tweets

6/9/16 12:01
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)
Read more... )
azurelunatic: A pajama-clad small child uses a rainbow-striped cruciform parachute. From illustration of "Go the Fuck to Sleep". (go the fuck to sleep)
It was the traditional dinner with Purple tonight. This is the day when I was expecting to definitely see Purple after vacation, if there'd been no other opportunity. There turned out to be a beer bash, but at short enough notice to Purple that it was too late to invite me. So we did dinner; Ms. Antisocialest Butterfly is out this week. Despite getting lost (got off at the wrong exit), I got there a split second before Purple, and then scored a table while he was getting through the truckfuck in the parking lot.

We talked about many things. The main thing on my mind lately has been a kind of heavy topic, and Purple is always a delightful combination of helpful, thoughtful, calling me on any bullshit he notices, supportive, and irreverently hilarious. We also discussed: the amount of work and/or luck it takes to get a suitable counseling professional; the parameters of "bro"; the difference between one-off objectification of men and the commodified objectification of women; toxic masculinity; the angry and terrible divorces of about 4 different guys in R's working group; marriage-related name change and how "Lunatic" might be a perfectly okay driver's license name but not a resume name; role inflexibility in formal power exchange; Purple's applied-ferret-in-packing-peanuts approach to pissing off Domly McDom types trying to establish control over social groups; that time Purple made the guy with the obnoxiously big dick leave a chatroom by agreeing with him; there certainly must have been other topics also ...

Purple started chirping me about my general liking for burying my face into his shirt and hiding under his arm, and pointed out that really, he was only six foot so it was a little awkward... When I accused him of chirping me, I had to explain that it was a term of art from hockey and not related to chickens, so therefore in this context it was a really bad pun.


Occasionally Purple is the Good Example.

Case in point: I have not in fact been counting the number of times that Purple has said something that would have made me back slowly off from an acquaintance or non-friend. It's happened. The fact that I'm not able to count is a good thing. If I were counting, it would be a count-up to some sort of unknowable explosion or ending. Instead, each moment is a new beginning.

Read more... )

I have not been counting the number of times I have realized that Purple is (still) more trusted than oxygen, more precious than emeralds, and done this delicate dance. Each time we are successful in navigating the issue, balancing our perspectives, and helping each other see it more clearly, he implicitly affirms that I have made the correct decision in extending the hand of friendship. I never wish to risk losing him over a misunderstanding.

We keep fucking up with each other. We keep talking it out. Occasionally, very rarely, we emerge with a fragile shell of a shattered trust and a bit of a scuff mark, and we're quietly defensive until the friendship draws us back in again. More often, we emerge closer to each other, closer at understanding our wide and weird world a little better as well.

On balance, it's worth it.


By the end of the night, my glitter eyeshadow had migrated down my face and neck all the way to my tits. Purple was amused.

We weren't meaning to, because we were both tired, but Purple and I stood out talking together for quite a while. He is amused by the state my brain's been in. I told him at least part of the story which ends with me raising a sparklepeen inspired by Twilight in the air and shouting "FREEDOM!" and then clinking it with a glass of booze in a toast.

Purple probably won't make it to the Seanan party tomorrow, or the Charlie Stross event Sunday; he's got some reading to do for the HOA meeting on Tuesday. Therefore dinner will probably be Wednesday, if it happens.

Some of Purple's hair got stuck on my lip gloss when we hugged goodnight. Apparently I should not lick his hair in the current state it's in -- sadly there have been water disruptions to his place which prevented proper shampooing.

Speaking of lip gloss, I think some exploded in my jacket pocket. This is going to be fun... I had put my hand in my pocket for some reason, and then realized that things in there felt ... unaccountably sticky. I withdrew my hand and rubbed fingers against each other, then reached back in. Yup, sticky, all right. I pulled my hand out and examined my fingers, which glistened in the dim street lamps and under the moon.

"What is that?" Purple asked.
"I think it's lip gloss."

It didn't appear to be colored, so I eventually reckoned that it must have been the transparent one with all the little iridescent glitter in it. Yay, cosmetic emergencies...


Something really hard to put my finger on has shifted in the dynamic between Purple and me, since he came back from vacation, and I'm enjoying it. I'm more at ease in his presence, more willing to be vulnerable, and delighted to tell more crass jokes of the type that make us both bust up laughing. Though occasionally they result in me turning beet red and facepalming repeatedly.


I've definitely been doing more Tarot readings lately. I should probably brush up and start carrying my deck more regularly. (I will probably keep saying this every day that I participate in a reading without having my own deck near to hand.)
azurelunatic: California poppies, with a bright blue sky and the sun. (California girl)
Word count on the new project: 1743, not including notes. (There are a lot of notes.)

I finally managed to call Darkside at a convenient time yesterday, and we wound up talking for approximately the expected length of time (2 hours). Today I met up with R for lunch and to talk conference-running. I'm going to run some numbers and get back to her.

Since we'd met up in Palo Alto, I dropped by work for some of the hauling-stuff-to-car which wouldn't benefit from helpful commentary from teammates. (Since the effect of said helpful commentary is generally me crying on Purple, I felt I had made an excellent choice.) I then called Purple to see if he was up for anything fun, given that I was ostensibly in the area.

He was not up for "out" particularly; I proposed that since what I was seeking was company, one of the traditions that Darkside and I had maintained was frozen pizza and terrible movies. He was amenable, so I picked up a frozen pizza and a package of spinach (know thy favorite software engineer) and only got slightly lost on the way to his place. (When you're coming from a nearby main drag, the wrong turn before does not have a stoplight. The correct turn does. This means "fun" trying to get back out onto the main drag and down the street due to our friend the left turn.) He was unsure of the gate code, but I was able to "shark in" after someone.

We proceeded to settle in to his infamous couch to watch things. I've had Black Mirror recommended from several trustworthy directions, so I went for that first. Apparently my limit there is 2 consecutive episodes. We mutually agreed upon Black Books to follow that up.

People who are allowed to call me "milady", a very short list:
* Purple

I would be pleased if this were to become a regular thing.
azurelunatic: California poppies, with a bright blue sky and the sun. (California girl)
There's a love meme on, one of the self-nomination kinds that evades the third-person pronounery that I usually find so fraught in the nominate-others sorts. My thread: http://radioaches.dreamwidth.org/81108.html?thread=1190356#cmt1190356

Over last week the ant profusion at work was on the decline. I was cheered. I was still squishing them at a rate of about 4 per hour, but that was much better than previous.

Sadly, Polka-Dot Researcher has left the company; I'll miss her. She's been very sick for a while; she came back briefly with visible pain patches on her injured shoulder and then went back out again. I'm sure there's a story but I don't know much of it.

Rather a lot more of other things! )
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)
Feeling not quite as terrible but still under the weather. (poor thermoregulation, poor appetite, some pain)
Not allowed to attempt to pick up strange men at conferences.
Not socially acceptable to inquire about polyamory (see above).
I got into the Lem section at Powell's. Oops.
Still need to unpack car.
Still need to do laundry.
Moderators comparing notes and a strong bunch of them having the same problem with the same person is important.
Slack has pros and cons.
I pointed someone to Crystal Singer at the bookstore.

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Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺

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