azurelunatic: Azz and best friend grabbing each other's noses.  (Default)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
Thursday involved a conference meeting right after lunch, and then a team meeting right after that.

I headed to fetch lunch a little early, because I was hungry. This was a good choice. The only thing that looked remotely palatable at the moment was the chicken cheesesteak, even though that involved bell peppers. I put in the grill order form with a hopeful "Avoid peppers". The guy said they were integrated. I sighed that I could pick them out: I wasn't allergic, I just hated them. He said to not worry about it, and within a much shorter time than I thought, I was handed a takeout box with a pepperless cheesesteak. I took it back to my desk, just in time to see Purple's lunch ping. So I headed back out and had a pleasant lunch with the table.

The conference meeting was about coming up with a theme for the conference, and a bit slap-happy. We came up with a promising initial list. We had to wait a bit for the conference room. It holds about 20-30 people. 40-50 people came pouring out of it like the proverbial clown car. It had been a meeting for my admin buddy's team. He oversees Quite A Large Department.

Things we cannot have for swag: things that get our people arrested if they bring it with them on the airplane.

The team meeting involved meeting a new guy in a slot Substantially Up The Org Chart. He said many of the correct things. That was also a mildly punchy meeting.

I was walking back from that meeting and swung by Mr. Zune's office; there I saw lb. lb and I went in search of frozen treats, but at the near location rather than the far one. We then repaired out to the fire pit, as the past two hours of meetings had been nearly unbearably hot.

I often choose that spot to enjoy the outdoors, have my ice cream, and perhaps work-from-mobile. It's pleasant, I have a personal attachment to the fire pit, and Purple's window overlooks the fire pit.

This time, the implied extra feature of the location activated, and Purple emerged from his dev-cave to clear his brain and chat a bit.

I came back to my email to find that the desktop guy had got a bit of the wrong end of the stick with my Outlook bug (he was trying to troubleshoot my problem adding the RSS feed, not my problem with Outlook's silent failure when not adding the RSS feed) so I went upstairs with chocolate in hopes of finding him. I didn't find him, but I did find Mr. Zune, and introduced myself to his new* officemate with chocolate.

* A month or two new, at this point.

I saw Mr. Zune's Overlord on approach, so I extracted the third square of chocolate from my pocket for him, then wandered over the bridge into the adjacent building in search of my buddy the admin with the final bit of chocolate. He wasn't there, but the ducks were! So that was lovely. I left the chocolate on his desk, as a bit of a calling card. He will know.

It was eventually time to go home. Purple wasn't braining as well as he might, and neither was I. It was 7, so traffic was calming down. He had been in a hurry in the morning, though, so he'd parked in the most convenient parking lot (the one which fills up particularly quickly) for his building. Due to where his office is, the parking lot next to my building is almost as convenient, but not quite.

I contemplated. I was tired, but my step count was a little low. "I could walk you out for a change," I offered.

He went quiet on IM, but it was about that time, so I picked up, grabbed my things, and headed over. He was chatting with one of his teammates, so I went and refilled my water bottle, then came back and perched in the guest chair (now a proper office chair, not one of the chairs clearly filched from a meeting room) while he talked unit testing.

He hadn't seen the IM yet. He'd thought I was just dropping by to say goodnight. I explained that if I wanted 1,200-odd more steps, then walking him out to his car and then taking the long way back around to mine was a reasonably pleasant way of getting them. That was fair.

Somehow we started at the way I knock on doors and arrived (through secret knocks) at the utter fuckwit who, among other charming personal traits, blackmail, plus other related matters )

"Rebar" is an ominous name for a rooster.

My knees got cranky. Purple got cold. He offered to drive me back to my car, but I pointed out that folding my knees up after they were angry would not lead to good things, that walking it off was good after standing, that being friends with him had in fact increased my capacity for standing around chatting, I did need the steps, and my hands were much warmer than his.

I did get my steps in.

I had some slightly weird dreams.

Snow

25/1/15 10:32
yvi: Kaylee half-smiling, looking very pretty (Default)
[personal profile] yvi
There is snow. For the first time this winter.

I hate snow. Or rather, I hate winter, because I hate the cold and the dark and I hate the roads being icy* and the mud when it all melts and having to wear 4 layers of clothing just to not lose feeling in my fingers.

But so far, thus has been a mild and agreeable winter. Maybe this will be the only snow and maybe it will have melted by tomorrow. Please?

* Might have something to do with having a very serious car accident on black ice, sliding into the Autobahn safety railing thing with about 50 km/h, I suppose...
Tags:
sporky_rat: Torches outside the Bulgarian Communist Headquarters. (post from the ether)
[personal profile] sporky_rat
via http://ift.tt/1CRuKou at January 25, 2015 at 03:00AM:
anotherneworld:

politicalpancake:

untrusteveryone:

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE WHO STILL TRIES TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS AFTER DEPRESSION HIT THEM HARD. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH RECOGNITION FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT THEY’RE GOING TO LOSE INTEREST AND MOTIVATION AGAIN BUT PUSH THEMSELVES TO DO STUFF ANYWAYS. YOU ARE FIGHTING A DAILY BATTLE WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND YOU’RE STILL COMING OUT ON TOP, YOU’RE ALL BRAVE AS FUCK 

Much needed.

It’s a war in there. Every single day.
sporky_rat: Torches outside the Bulgarian Communist Headquarters. (post from the ether)
[personal profile] sporky_rat
via http://ift.tt/1z7Hnyk at January 25, 2015 at 02:00AM:
“The worst thing in the world is having to go back to the dark you shook off.”
- Catherynne M. Valente, from Six Gun Snow White (via lifeinpoetry)
[personal profile] swaldman
Dreaming about running to catch a train: pretty obvious, when I have a deadline coming.

Dreaming about running to catch the Advanced Passenger Train? Either I am just super-geeky, or my brain knows something I don't about my research...
Tags:
verity: buffy peeks between the blinds (Default)
[personal profile] verity
ain't born typical (5146 words) by verity
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Characters: Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, Jordie Benn
Additional Tags: Directedverse, Switching, Consensual Kink, Kink Negotiation, Spanking, Human Furniture, Topping, Friends to Lovers, Relationship Negotiation, Pansexual Character, Polyamory in Universe But Not In This Relationship, Alternate Universe - BDSM
Summary:

"Hey, so," Tyler says when the marks on his ass have faded to a gross yellow-green. "Next time, you wanna make out first?"





I made a thing & I crossposted it here!
Tags:
highlander_ii: MacGyver making an 'excuse me?' face with that text beneath ([MacGyver] excuse me?)
[personal profile] highlander_ii
#119 - Second Chance

Season: 5


Plot: Jesse Colton discovers he has a son and he and Mac have to find a way to put the kid on the right path.

Trope(s):
[Frequently used Tropes are listed in the first post.]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisappearedDad
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllAsiansKnowMartialArts
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeelFaceTurn


Thoughts:

This is another episode that has the slowly moving plot issue. They try to get it up and going with a bit about a little girl who needs dialysis and tying that into the group of kids who steal things so this other guy can sell them under the table.

This works in with the plot bit about Jesse and his kid - since his kid is part of the gang stealing stuff for the other guy. The brat kid is angry that his father wasn't around and blames him for all sorts of bad things in his life. The problem with this anger is that dad didn't know there was a kid. If he had, Jesse would've done something - especially after the kid's mom died.

Mac and Jesse convince the kid to turn himself around and help the clinic - too bad it takes forever to get to that point.

Snowed In

24/1/15 23:26
archangelbeth: Bleary-eyed young woman peers up, pillow obscuring the lower half of her face. Text reads: SO not a morning person. (So Not A Morning Person)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
We'll be fine, but we didn't go anywhere today. Because snow. Lots of it. Tomorrow, we volunteer to man a table at the cat show.

I blame Maya for this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=84503534&x-yt-ts=1421914688&v=3x2SvqhfevE&feature=player_embedded

This is just plain O_o : http://news.sciencemag.org/1996/12/bacterial-junkies-new-threat

I have re-done the cover for Herb-Witch -- not really noticeable, save that it will be bigger (as Apple now requires), and the title may stand out more. Also, my name may stand out more. I think I had to trim at the bottom for the prior requirements.

Havva Quote
arcangel says, "Going after an entire Borg fleet alone is bad, yeah"
--this comment needs no context


INwatch+Bookwatch )

Dragons under fold )

temptation

24/1/15 22:26
xnera: Photo of my cat sniffing a vase of roses  (Default)
[personal profile] xnera
I was bored so I did a search for "PSP browser games" and found out there was such a thing. They require Flash, which needed a system update. So I did another search for my missing memory card.

I FOUND IT! It was in a small basket I have. System has been updated and Flash is enabled, yay! I have yet to try it.

I'm thinking again about buying FFIX, now. I tried logging on the PSN Store but there's a forced password change which has to be done from a PC so it'll have to wait until tomorrow.
auguris: (Garrus Derpkarian)
[personal profile] auguris
LAX planning to allow Uber and Lyft, while also deregulating taxis

"It's not broken," says Rick Taylor, a spokesman for L.A. Yellow Cab. "Don't be messing with something that's not broken."

Yeah, hun, if it weren't broken, you wouldn't be losing up to 40% of your revenue to Lyft and Uber.

(Uber and Uber-likes have serious problems, yes, but c'mon. This line. The state isn't doing this to you, consumers are. That means it IS broken.)

Positive tape

24/1/15 18:42
tim: A brown tabby cat's face. (spreckles)
[personal profile] tim
A followup to this and this:

So I wasn't going to post this at first, but then [personal profile] wild_irises pointed out that holding it back for fear of being seen as self-absorbed is hardly in the spirit of Wishcraft, and she's right, so here goes :)

I tried to combine everybody's positive comments about me into a single narrative, something that resembles the spirit of the original exercise in Barbara Sher's book ("ask a friend to say good things about you for 3 minutes.") So I combined comments that were similar to each other and grouped them roughly by topic. This includes all the comments from my Dreamwidth post, plus some from Facebook and one from an email. However, I've mashed things up enough that there shouldn't be anything there that's possible to trace back to one person (except for the ones that were made non-anonymously here on Dreamwidth, of course!) So, don't assume that a given sentence has the same author as the next one or the one before it, because there are a whole bunch of cases where that's not true.
You're willing to listen without assumption, and to act. You're loyal. I never feel like you're gonna bite my hand if you don't like my idea, and honest criticism is gold in ways that people don't always understand. You are a straightforward and trustworthy person. You are a very encouraging friend. When I didn’t want to live anymore, you wrote me a letter that touched me and made me cry. You sent me a book that is dear to me and you wished me solace. It makes me happy to know someone that I could confide & brainstorm with if I am having a real crisis or need some insight. (within certain realms, to be realistic) You happily met up with me and readily continued a friendship, even though we hadn’t been in contact for ages.

You have much warmth, kindness, and empathy. You care very deeply and so fiercely about so many important issues. You are aware of how other people see the world, and try to do the right thing. I believe you to be the kind of open minded person that in the heat of an argument, if proven wrong, would yell out apologies & correct yourself in the same heated tone you were slamming the ideas just minutes before........which is awesome. You are actively striving to be better and have the capacity to learn from your mistakes; you're also willing to make them in the first place. You continue to investigate your own biases deeply and refine your worldview and opinions as an adult, even as an adult over 30, motivated by wanting to treat other people better. You have great sensitivity to the suffering of others and your focus on other people is directly (rather than inversely) proportional with how much oppression they've suffered. There are people you’ll never know whose lives you have touched in a beautiful way. You are adding so much good not only to the lives of those you know and care about, but to all those people you will never know.

You also share your opinions and communicate well about them. I've learned a lot from you, particularly about privilege, and specifically in ways that I hope have made me able to treat people better, and/or that will make me able to potentially treat people better in the future. Your writing has led me to interesting questions and further exploration of topics like discrimination and intersectional feminism, which in turn has appreciably improved my understanding of the world. Your opinions sometimes seem outlandish at first, but often cause me to think long and hard. You make me challenge my assumptions. Specifically, you've made me realize that I tend to hide behind a belief that any progress is better than no progress on many fronts instead of actively working for change. It's an ugly truth but I'm glad you've helped me to realize it. You help me learn more and open my eyes to things I’d never thought about before.

You approach your life with both analytical distance and thoughtfulness. You think hard and deeply about topics many people shy away from, and speak frankly about your thoughts. Particularly, you confront difficult and complicated problems even if it would be easier to stay quiet; you don't shy away from conflict. You are an engaging writer with a lot of interesting things to say. I appreciate your precision. I like you because you speak your mind, but with respect for your reader; because you acknowledge complications and nuances while not adopting the cowardly option of either assuming all sides are all equally valid or that only one is. You are deeply engaged with social justice issues and are not afraid to take unpopular positions. You are a person of integrity and seriousness. I find your point of view consistently well thought out and understandable.

Specifically I enjoi the critical talk of cis, straight, white culture & queer, trans culture (when it warrants it), or even tech industry (aka bro-ding...get it? coding...bro....ah haaaa! you get it) You say interesting things about gender, including but not just how it affects your life. You pay attention to and amplify marginalized voices, particularly those of women and trans people. You "get" feminism and are outspoken on behalf of person who are not cis males, especially in computer science. I am always appreciative of your ability and willingness to advocate for others. You are strongly compassionate. I particularly like that you always consider children as human beings (and I'm curious what your parenting will look like in practice.) You care so much about people and non-humans too.

You come across as a knife with a neon nyan cat handle in subject matters you feel strongly about, all shiny, bright & happy "....but ...wait....oh god! ......I've been cut to size? but how???? " You have a low tolerance for bullshit, and the ability to cut through the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matter. You challenge empty rhetoric directly and do not tolerate even passive acquiescence to something you know is wrong. I have always admired your ability and bravery at times to tell it like it is. You are unapologetic about who you are and uncompromising about principles. That said, you're not abusive or threatening about it: you are critical while maintaining your ability to connect with others. You're fighting injustice and making this painful world a much better place.

You have always struck me as intimidatingly good. I say intimidatingly because it puts me in mind of something in one of Diane Duane's Young Wizards books: direct contact with the Powers that Be is actually a bit of a dangerous hobby for a human to get into, because the Powers are impatient with mere human flaws, including the flaws of their own vessels, and they tend to burn through whatever impurities they encounter.

That's what you try to do to obstacles between you and justice.

You are very clear about your goals and their status, but also flexible about them. You don't exploit others. You somehow maintain optimism about human nature, despite considerable evidence in your personal history for the opposite perspective. You're idealistic, but it's tempered by a hard-won jadedness, which I think contributes to your good and offbeat sense of humor. While you are a very serious person at heart, you are approachable and you don't shy away from enjoying life and relationships with others. You are very capable of relaxing and pursuing pleasure and leisure, without neglecting your convictions. You take responsibility for the things you enjoy. You are often fun to be around, and pleasantly talkative.

You are highly intelligent and apparently a very good coder. You enjoy learning and sharing what you've learned with others. I think the best thing about you (to me) is the fact that you're outspokenly more critical & well read than myself & I use that to my advantage to learn about or become more in depth with subject matter I wasn't aware of. You are enormously curious and eager to acquire knowledge and understanding, where understanding is more important than knowledge. You have a drive to get useful things done, which is far better for the world than a drive to get things done in general. I regret that you and I did not get to work together for the short time we worked at the same place.

You are responsible. When part of groups, you are good at identifying tasks for yourself and doing them correctly and consistently. You'll invent processes where there aren't any, and you'll improve them where there are some that need improvement.

You're fun when you're very horny.

Your beard is awesome. I dig your glasses.

Oh, and you let your kitties stay with us for a couple months and they brought us much joy.

~~~BONUS CAT POV~~~

Oh, and one more thing, Spotty and Spreckles telepathically communicated to me some good things about you, too. Don't ask me why they didn't tell you for themselves...ask them. Your kitties are strange... :)

Spotty - You happily pay for as many headphone wires as I chew up and still love me. You are fun to snuggle with. Oh, and you bring me my food!

Spreckles - I have never told you this and I should have. You gave me a really spiffy name*. And you make every day fun. You make me glad to be a cat. And you bring my food! If you bring me more food, I will say more good things about you! Right now, I need to nap! Sorry!
Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my DW post, on Facebook, or in email. I'm not thanking you for having positive opinions about me, since I hardly think that my thanks will affect your opinions one way or the other :) Rather, I'm thanking you for writing them down, which is hard to do.
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
When you see this, share lines from 3 random WIPs.

As I've mentioned several times, the complete lack of writing from me lately is because one of my drugs (and it's the one of my drugs that I can't sub out for something else) is fucking with my ability to string words together. That having been said, I do have a few things in progress that I work on when I can manage it. All FF7:

yes, this includes part 3 of Lullabye )
vixy: (watering)
[personal profile] vixy
 So I'm thinking about going back to eating meat.
 
A bit of backstory: 
 
I stopped eating meat about fifteen years ago. It's easiest to say it was for religious reasons, although not from any organized religion, just from the patchwork of Protestant-turned-new-age beliefs that my mother and aunt raised me with. A hodgepodge of books and seminars and Biblical reinterpretations and things "remembered" in meditations that was the core of my life from my single-digits to... well that's another story, never mind. Anyway.
 
Around fifteen years ago, my mother decided to stop eating meat, because at the time we believed that death was unnatural-- any death, human or animal.  Death had been brought to this world by... well let's not go into how it got here, but we believed that all life was originally intended to transform (something to do with emotion and vibrations), taking the body with us rather than leaving it behind. Death was a trauma, and one day my mother decided she didn't want to ingest anything that had <i>experienced</i> that trauma, taking in its negative emotion and energy. (My aunt didn't go fully vegetarian at that time, but did drastically reduce the amount of meat she ate.) She told my sister and me about it, but she said she didn't expect us to do the same.  My sister decided not to.  But I idolized my mother and aunt. I believed everything they taught me. I decided to do it too.
 
After nine or ten years, and various life events, I no longer subscribed to the beliefs I'd grown up with. But I kept being vegetarian, because by that point, if I accidentally ate anything made with meat-- even broth-- I'd suffer nasty gastrointestinal reactions. (I'll never forget thinking I was safe ordering macaroni & cheese at a fancy downtown restaurant, only to wake up in pain at 2am and spend the next few hours in the bathroom. I called the restaurant the next day. "Soooo... any chance your mac n cheese contains meat?"  "Oh, yeah, it's made with chicken broth, why?" "MAYBE YOU COULD PUT THAT ON YOUR MENU NEXT TIME." (I paraphrase.)) 
 
Up to now, going back to meat hasn't seemed worth the bother. It's not actually that inconvenient to be a vegetarian; I eat eggs and cheese, I get enough protein (you don't actually need a ton anyway), and even the most meatful of restaurants is happy to make their pasta dish for you and leave the meat off (especially once you tell them you don't expect them to discount the price for you). Very occasionally someone gives me crap about it, but those times have been few and far between.
 
So why now? Well, a few reasons:
 
For the most part I haven't really missed meat, but every once in a while there's something I miss, or wish I could try. For example, Torrey recently made this AMAZING meatloaf that even to my vegetarian nose smelled like <i>absolute heaven.</i> Seriously I would almost have gone back to meat right on the spot if it weren't that beef is probably the worst place to start for this. 
 
Also, I've been assuming all these years that I'd have to go through a really long period of GI distress, weeks even, before I reacclimated my body to digesting meat. I recently realized that I have no reason to assume it'd take that long. It could-- I have no idea-- but there's nothing to indicate either way. I'm not even sure why I leapt to that conclusion; for all I know it might just take a meal or two and be done.
 
And even though being vegetarian isn't *that* big an inconvenience, it would still make things *somewhat* easier, in terms of restaurants and visiting other people's houses. 
 
And then there's something that I had never quite realized until I was explaining it to Seanan the other day. I'm not sure I even knew what I was going to say before the words came out of my mouth.  The original decision to become a vegetarian... <i>I didn't make that decision for myself.</i>
 
I mean, I was an adult, I did <i>make</i> the decision. But I didn't do it for me. I didn't do it for my own reasons.  I did it for my mother, and my aunt, to follow the things they taught me. I did it to be closer to what they wanted me to be. I did it to be <i>good.</i>  Why should I continue a practice that was never really mine in the first place?
 
The more I think about it, the more I want to try going back. I'm still considering how to go about it. I'd probably want to start with something broth rather than solid, and probably chicken rather than beef (don't they always say red meat is harder to digest?)  And maybe, like, on a Friday, so I'd have the weekend for staying up late if I have to. Maybe one meal with meat and then a few meals without, or every other meal. I was considering making a boxed instant rice thing we have in the pantry, although I don't know how much difference there is between the "chicken flavor" ingredients in those things vs. something made with broth that came from an actual chicken you cooked yourself.
 
There are some meat dishes that still gross me out at the thought of eating, so I wouldn't be going back to eating ALL meat. Then again, nobody eats EVERYTHING. Except maybe my husband. 

Edit:  I realized I left out something big!

I do eat some fish.  A few years ago I started missing tuna fish sandwiches, so I cautiously started eating them again and had no problems whatsoever. I read somewhere it's a different protein, or something?  Anyway it was never a problem.

Of course, I had always hated pretty much all seafood besides tuna fish before that, so that didn't change much. Shortly after I had my gallbladder out, Torrey happened to make salmon and I tried some and liked it. So sometimes I eat salmon, if it's cooked well. I still haven't liked any other seafood I've tasted, including sushi. So that's pretty much a dead end, there.

daily gratitudes

24/1/15 12:47
watersword: The cover image of Tom Stoppard's Arcadia, a misty landscape with a small cottage (Stock: Arcadia)
[personal profile] watersword
  1. sleeping in
  2. dried cantaloupe
  3. delicious milky tea that should probably be called cambric
  4. avocado on toast
  5. underground public transportation

(no subject)

24/1/15 16:40
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
We are now home-home (we got back into the country last night but spent the night at the Newark airport hotel before taking the train back down today). Three out of four cats are doing the "You're home! We will now cling to you!" thing. The fourth is following me around and berating me constantly for having had the TEMERITY to ABANDON him. (If you guessed that's Gabe, you're correct.)

I am now going to spend the next week and a half making up my spoons deficit. Sigh.

S6 Spike meta

24/1/15 15:03
[personal profile] torrilin
This is in response to http://the-moonmoth.livejournal.com/202962.html and some of the comments over there. My response came out too long to fit in a comment!

I'm coming at it from a Catholic point of view. And that's kind of important, because it means that a large chunk of the mythos I'm working with assumes a standard issue demon is quite literally an angel who turned against God. A near perfect being... changed. I don't think we're ever given any evidence for the Buffyverse assertion (I think Spike actually says it first) that "demons don't change". And well, it's awfully hard to prove a negative. The show doesn't try. At all. And we see quite a bit of evidence for Angel, Spike and Darla all changing. Less so for Clem, Dru, the Master and Mr. Trick (who I think are the next most repeated demons). I'm unsure whether the Mayor should or should not be counted as a demon in S3, and I'm not sure how Anya should be counted on the show... but we've got evidence that she changed from the time when she was human at first to when we first meet her on the show. Bunnies. So odds are very good she changed while she was a demon.

The show's writers are very clear and explicit that they were approaching things from a different religious/philosophical point of view. In Christian terms, I'd tend to say they were working from a predestination framework. (and since the writers are American, a Christian framework is a fair bet) You can't prove that the redemptive framework is true. You can't prove that the predestination one is true. And you can't falsify either one. And some of the bloodiest wars in history have used this exact dichotomy as a major excuse for the fighting. I really doubt there's going to be a major breakthrough in Buffy fandom.

Figuring out whether a Slayer should count as a human or a demon is pretty debatable, but if they're a demon, um... they change too. We don't see much of anything addressing how much demon is "too much" to count as fully human. Or anything explaining how one tells the difference between a demon's soul (because at least some demons have souls according to canon) and a human one.

We also don't get a whole lot of concrete evidence for the idea that a vampire with a soul is a completely different person than a vampire without a soul. There's some stuff in AtS that (supposedly) suggests this. And some fans take the bit in Becoming where Buffy stuffs Angel down Acathla's throat to plug the hole as evidence. But Angel, Spike and (debatably) Darla while pregnant seem to me as different as someone with MPD can be when the identities involved are being especially different. I can maybe buy that ensouling a vamp really ups the odds of them having diagnosable MPD? The whole idea really sounds weirdola and like the writers aren't all that familiar with mental illness and the variety of ways it presents. And it's not all that consistent with the effects of other transformative magic that we see, like the hyena possession. (and the hyena stuff is internally consistent with the rest of the show AND consistent with how folks I know with MPD tend to describe life) The writers go for dramatic mental illness symptoms over common ones, and they go for dramatic symptoms over consistent symptoms too.

Angel says he's a different person. Buffy says Angel's different. But we've got loads of evidence that the characters are unreliable all over the place, and for all kinds of reasons. We don't get shown how either Buffy or Angel came up with their evidence (if there is any). And we don't see any characters doing the kind of experimental stuff we see Giles has done with possession. So I tend to dismiss Angel's claims as being self serving lies, and Buffy's claims on hormonal teenager grounds. God knows I made a lot of dumb decisions under the influence of hormones.

You could probably do a dissertation on mental health in the Buffyverse, and the consistent failure of the characters to follow through on standard recommendations circa 1970. They do not once show a character with mental health issues that are handled in a way consistent with insurance requirements circa 1996. But overall on medical stuff they suck hairy sheeps' balls. I'm thinking a nice long wool, with lots of dung tags and probably desperately in need of spring shearing :P. For a fantasy/SF type show, they're incredibly bad on this. I don't watch enough realistic TV to judge, but they're probably fairly bad by that standard too.

And going back to demons don't change... Spike has a lot of reason to WANT to believe that. He says demons don't change in School Hard. He loves Drusilla madly, desperately, and has done so for nearly 120 years at this point. While fic authors love to portray Dru as sleeping around, we don't actually have much evidence of this. Prior to her and Spike breaking up, the only canon evidence for guys comes up to be Angel and Spike. Just them. Only them. Change for Spike at that point is not likely to lead to good things from his point of view. Even Drusilla getting more mentally healthy is likely to be traumatic. And if she were more capable, then there's more opportunity for conflict with her. Their relationship works as is. Spike doesn't want to renegotiate everything with her. And what we get from Drusilla is pretty consistent with this. She is very upset that Spike went and changed on her later on.

And I find it very interesting that where Spike is saying demons don't change, Angel is saying they do. I think Angel is right here, largely because his statement fits the evidence. I don't think Angel is always wrong or always a bad guy. But it's real interesting that the folks who are most invested in Spike as a bad guy are most invested in Spike being super-truthful right here... And he's demonstrated that he lies and he lies a lot. Sometimes they're effective, sometimes they're not, sometimes he lies to himself. And Spike gets things wrong all the damn time. He's not perfect. Nor is Angel.

So I tend to think Spike isn't actually special. Except maybe for the speed at which he changes.

I tend to hold both him and Buffy as accountable for the mess in S6. Really guys, no is an important word. And Spike at least old enough to know better. Since Buffy has memories of dealing with a 2 year old when she's 8, she should know better too. Ow is also a pretty important idea. And it's very clear that they both actively and repeatedly choose to ignore no and ow AND not take any actions to mitigate this set of choices. If the writers were playing fair, the end result would have been one of them dead. And odds are good it'd be Spike. Given his usual self preservation skills, he was probably just as depressed and suicidal as Buffy. Shocker, a relationship between two depressed and suicidal people is unhealthy? NO SHIT. It's not like Spike hasn't spent at least 2 seasons trying to commit suicide by Slayer before this!

I'd love to see someone good at handling premodern (think Shakespeare and earlier) psychology ideas in fiction do some analysis on BtVS and psychology. The more I look at the show and the logic, the more it feels like the writers are trying to force the characters into a very set mold, and it doesn't feel like a current one to me.
umadoshi: (wolf 01 (nomnomicons))
[personal profile] umadoshi
It is, instead, a general reminder that this is coming up:
A white wolf, a pink heart, and the text: Psychic Wolves for Lupercalia - A Multi-Fandom Mini-Fest, February Thirteenth through Fifteenth

That banner links to the FAQ and general info post. There's a cheerleading post here, and this is the list of works from previous years on AO3.

My Newsflesh psychic wolves fic (which for the second year running will not be done in time for the actual fest, although people do post to the collection throughout the year) is one of the ones loosely inspired by some aspects of Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette's Iskryne series (which in turn exists as a response to the Pern series), but as the FAQ says, that's not required as an influence.

I grew up on both ElfQuest and Pern (with its myriad of flaws*), so it's really no surprise that this fest appeals to me.

Other fandoms I presently think could really benefit from some fun** with psychic wolves: The 100 and The Raven Boys.

*Pern is one of the series I once owned most of, with my collection dwindling every time I did a book cull. I think I still have...Dragonflight, Dragonquest, and all three Harper Hall books. The dragons may leave me, but the fire lizards never will.

(When I was very young--four or five--my best friend's older sister made me a picture of a woman with lots of small dragons, which I loved. It wasn't until sixth or seventh grade that I came across a copy of...I think it was Dragonsinger, not Dragonsong...and realized what the inspiration for the picture had been. It was very exciting.)

**Given the in-some-ways traumatic nature of what I'm writing, "fun" is really not the word I should be using. A few evenings ago [personal profile] wildpear came over and we talked some about what I've got so far, which was a bit fraught. This is not an easy story in any respect. I'm going to have to tag the hell out of it when it's finished.

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