(no subject)

30/5/15 02:50
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
Home from cruise! It was lovely! We're exhausted! The whole world keeps pitching and yawing even though I am on stable ground! I am going to bed now! More details later! Someone needs to take my exclamation points away from me!
flamebyrd: (Default)
[personal profile] flamebyrd
The reason I've been so quiet recently:

The Stars Between Us (24447 words) by Flamebyrd
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: The Hobbit (Jackson movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kíli/Tauriel, Sigrid & Tauriel, Sigrid & Tauriel & Tilda, Dís & Tauriel
Characters: Tauriel, Kíli, Sigrid (Hobbit Movies), Dís, Tilda (Hobbit Movies)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cultural Differences, Women Being Awesome, Creepy Critters, Dwarf/Elf Relationship(s), Exile, Communication Failure, Dwarf Courting, Elf Courting
Summary: Tauriel tries to adjust to her new life in Dale - helping the Healer, teaching Bard's children, fighting the strange creatures that are departing Mirkwood, and dealing with the sudden reappearance of Kili in her life. Being a part of the world is complicated.

This is my [livejournal.com profile] hobbitstory Big Bang! Writing it was not so much difficult as slow (apart from one or two troublesome scenes), leaving me with approximately 1 week to edit 24K of fanfic, and I must thank [archiveofourown.org profile] errata and [tumblr.com profile] orchis profusely for their help with that. Art is by the lovely [livejournal.com profile] thethreehunters.
ofearthandstars: Me facing sunset at the ocean in Maui (sunset at Makena)
[personal profile] ofearthandstars
It feels like it's been several months (or maybe longer) since I've felt like, well, me. Despite the fact that I am actually a pretty positive/optimistic person and despite the fact that I'm mostly happy with my life (still want a house of my own, and maybe a change in job scenery, but not nearly motivated enough to do either of those things) - I often feel like I'm drowning under the anxiety and the negative voices. It's not so much that I feel depressed (although during particularly stressful times, or my favorite hormonal times, I sometimes do), but it's just that I don't always know who I am (or who I'm trying to be) anymore.

There are little things that add to it - the weight I seemed to have not-so-mysteriously put on, the terrible haircut that, even having grown out a bit, just does not feel like me, continuously losing the crap fight against my skin - I don't feel very attractive. And at other times, it's that I don't feel interesting - I've always suffered from the idea that I'm just not a creative, naturally talented and/or artistic person. I haven't picked up my guitar in ages. I worry that sometimes my ideas are just a mimicry of other opinions. Then there's the health crap - my stupid hip, which has been bothering me for almost two months and which I am sick of complaining about but which has pretty much taken one of my few releases from me; my inability to sleep through a night without interruption. Everything feels very mediocre, very not-good-enough.

I imagine that many people feel this way, and have to deal with a sort of clawing self-doubt that eats away at their happiness. I think what bothers me is that these feelings have been lingering a while. They often let up for a bit, as I find new things to amuse me and focus on those and the priorities. But I also worry that I've sort of accepted these self-criticisms and seem to be procrastinating on doing things that might make me feel better about myself. It's not that I don't practice self-care - I do, but it's mostly of the "have to have to get by" variety. I don't spoil myself in ways that count, but rather I make excuses of why a certain item/action will help lift my mood in a rather chaotic way. I keep thinking that there are things I could do to address my feeling unattractive; there are things I can do to exercise to gain some sanity (like cycling, if I can overcome the bike seat issues); there are things I can practice to try to challenge myself creatively.

But I'm just... exhausted. Not in a physical way. I have plenty of energy and am grateful for my health. It's more that ... I'm stuck in a sort of mental limbo of being where I don't know what comes next. So I'm just swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. Which is okay, because sometimes when life is unpredictable or tumultuous, you need a good period of downtime and stability. But everything feels stale and kind of crummy, and I don't know what to do with that. I want to feel alive and passionate and interesting and sexy and fun and loveable and exciting. (And I know that I have people in my life that will tell me I am all of those things, which I am grateful for, but there's also the need to feel it on my own.) I don't know how to get myself to the point where I feel those things, where I have that confidence in myself again.

Maybe I need to set some goals, to find time to play, or just to sit and think about what it is I want to be doing with my time. I know I'm okay where I am, I just can't help but think that somewhere a better world is lurking.

IUD drama

29/5/15 18:29
naamah_darling: The right-side canines of a wolf's skull; the upper canine is made of gold. (Default)
[personal profile] naamah_darling
Had my old Mirena pulled and a new one installed on Wednesday.

Dear god.

Bless the doctor, because she was persistent as fucking hell.  Bless The Actual Bear for standing there and holding my hand.  Because it should not have been that difficult, and it really, really was.  Took her like five minutes to get the damn thing in because my stupid anatomy would NOT cooperate.  It hurt pretty badly -- like, only a little worse (though less sharp) than my stupid IBS cramps, and not as bad as getting the first one in?  But it went ON and ON when the first one only took about 20 seconds.  I actually felt queasy afterward, which didn't happen before.

I spent the rest of the day achy and sore in the expected places, and yesterday I was actually muscle-sore pretty much all over -- ass, ribs, belly, shoulders, neck -- from tensing up so much.  Today, just my left buttcheek.

It kind of sucked overall, but it got done.  I am super-grateful for that.

rosefox: Batman feeds a baby while saying "We'll both be just fine" (futurekid-yay)
[personal profile] rosefox
X is pregnant. :D

There is one (1) embryo. So far it appears to be entirely healthy. Due date is early January. We've known for a month and not telling people has been AGONY. But now the news is out!

I will probably discontinue use of the babyfilter and just post under a cut tag--I know some of you folks have zero or negative interest in other people's babythings. Many thanks to everyone who's offered words of comfort, support, and advice over the year of IUI and IVF; it's been a pretty wild ride. But here we are!

:D :D :D

daily gratitudes

29/5/15 18:17
watersword: Keira Knightley applying lipstick and looking in a mirror, with the words "a work in progress" nearby (Keira Knightley: lipstick)
[personal profile] watersword
  1. sunscreen
  2. co-worker bought me goat-cheese-and-arugula pizza
  3. achievement unlocked: readercon registration and hotel reservation completed
  4. the kittens game is back to feeling like fun and not a chore
  5. I said smart things in writing group and did not actually punch the patronizing mansplaining asshole I hate
ursamajor: people on the beach watching the ocean (Default)
[personal profile] ursamajor
post-tags: instagram, crosspost Tonight is #Manhattanhenge; I'm observing #Kayakhenge. #sunset #summer

Mad Max: Fury Road

29/5/15 17:26
firecat: red panda looking happy (Default)
[personal profile] firecat
On the advice of about 90% of the people I know everywhere, I saw Mad Max: Fury Road today. I found it a huge sensory overload, so my initial reaction was something like "It's like trying to read everything on Twitter for 90 minutes." It was a good movie and had lots of feminist messages, like 90% of the people I know everywhere said.

Unless everyone is completely done talking about it already, there might be spoilers in the comments.

(no subject)

29/5/15 19:43
snarp: small cute androgynous android crossing arms and looking very serious (Default)
[personal profile] snarp
I just solved Lord English, btw.

Hang on, I'm making an imageset.
archangelbeth: Big pink airship, captioned: ...and we're Pink. Let's not forget That. (PINK)
[personal profile] archangelbeth
Y'know, when you're not supposed to be talking to a kid, and you do it anyway to imply that she's going to go to the testing center to goof off, you are 1: insulting the kid, 2: insulting your higher-up who told you to stop interacting with the kid, and 3: insulting the people at the testing center with the assumption they let kids "hang out" there.

Just sayin'.

(Appropriate people were appraised of this pretty much just after it happened, so I am mostly going, "...how hard is it, for an adult, to comprehend 'Don't talk to the kid anymore'???")

Meanwhile, I am in No Cope mode from PMS, plus occasional random anxiety-attack-like episodes for no good reason! SUCH FUN! At least it will all be better in a couple weeks. O:p

But I got another paragraph or two on CLB, woohoo! O:/

Havva Quote
Mom: No. I’m going to figure this out. Crazy mages and their crazy pride demons. You tell the internet I’m going to win this. Somehow.

INwatch+Bookwatch )

Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
Dragons under fold )

My priorities.

29/5/15 19:32
snarp: small cute androgynous android crossing arms and looking very serious (Default)
[personal profile] snarp
I have a deep terror of becoming Andrew Hussie, so I have Reviews of Young Adult Novels planned out pretty tidily! There exists a plot outline which has remained pretty much unchanged since before my brain fucked off and I had to stop doing the Active Writing part.

Which kind of surprises me, because I've been expecting Hussie to do something that I'll decide I want to incorporate thematically, but I've felt pretty okay with my choices so far! I have been content.

Up until Thursday's update, that is. This obviously necessitates some changes.
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll
Groucho is willing to invest a long time staring into the closet to get Ibid curious enough to go in. It takes about half an hour for Ibib's curiosity about what's so interesting to overcome what I assume is his memory that this always ends with him trapped in the closet. Lots of walking away, then returning to see if Groucho is still staring into the closet.

PSA: Anon Commenters

29/5/15 23:34
miss_s_b: (Politics: Democracy)
[personal profile] miss_s_b
While I am happy to host debate in the comments to my blog, I do have a comments policy and I would be obliged if you'd all stick to it. None of it is particularly onerous, and certainly not as onerous as dealing with an anon commenter who persistently refuses to adhere to said comments policy, and who is verging on nastiness towards one of my regulars.

I will no longer be approving any anon comments with no handle attached. And even with a handle, don't be an arse.

Thank you.

(no subject)

29/5/15 15:53
snarp: small cute androgynous android crossing arms and looking very serious (Default)
[personal profile] snarp
I am a conscientious objector to the, stuff

Fannish linkspam

29/5/15 12:40
umadoshi: (fangirl (bisty_icons))
[personal profile] umadoshi
Thanks for much for all the replies to yesterday's question about linkspam! Happily, there was consensus on the whether my usual length is good (yes) and whether I should use cut-tags (no), because had there been a fairly even split, my brain probably would've found a way to fret itself into the ground. (And I'm also really glad that so many of you find the linkspam interesting. ^_^)

This batch of links is not hugely diverse; the links-to-post file is currently swimming in fandom-related stuff, so I'm just cleaning that section out:

I utterly failed to post about it when [livejournal.com profile] smallfandomfest was taking fic prompts, but look! Prompts are now available for claiming.

The Mary Sue has thoughts on "Why You Should Be Watching My Love STORY". (Which, okay, I'm not watching yet, but the manga is one of my all-time favorites of the series I've worked on. *^^*) "I’m not normally the biggest fan of fluffy rom-coms; they typically have a weak overarching narrative paired with overdone archetypes that usually fail to keep my interest for more than a few episodes. But that’s where this show gets you with its cleverness – it’s simple, but deceptively so. Dig a little bit beyond its fluffy, bright, pastel watercolor exterior, and you start to see a brilliantly-integrated story about adorable people whose lives are limited by societal expectations in one way or another (cleverly thematically framed by the story of Red Ogre and Blue Ogre)."

"37 Times Tumblr Made You Rethink Everything About 'Harry Potter'". (I may be overly fond of Buzzfeed articles about Tumblr. *g*)

Yet another post about Fury Road that I haven't actually read (nope, still haven't seen the movie, and thus still avoiding spoilers), this one by Kameron Hurley: "Wives, Warlords and Refugees: The People Economy of Mad Max".

Via [personal profile] selenak, "Bryan Fuller on American Gods casting".

"Neil Gaiman Talks New Sandman, Unveils New Pages". (Only skimmed, because I haven't read any of the new material yet. Have any of you been reading it? Without spoilers, please, what do you think?)

At [community profile] ladybusiness, [personal profile] renay posted "Hey, Mainstream Venues! Your SF Summer Reading Guides are Boring. Here's 25 Rad Suggestions".

As we know, Bob, I don't usually link reviews to things I've worked on. But I really like the Anime News Network review of Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer vol. 3-4 (the second omnibus). "But weirdly enough, when it comes to the writing, that amateurish execution is actually a strength. Biscuit Hammer reads like an adventure story told by a thoughtful, slightly misanthropic person who's only vaguely familiar with the rules of shounen storytelling. Characters can die, here. Villains will sometimes just pop up and say hi to the heroes, because they're bored and kind of lonely. [...] It turns out this story isn't just about Yuuhi - it's about how we engage with the world altogether, and the meaning of a life well-lived."

This morning on Twitter I learned that "Hayley Atwell Totally Improvised Your Favorite Part of Captain America".

At Playboy, there's a good interview with Jordan Gavaris (Felix on Orphan Black).


azurelunatic: Azz and best friend grabbing each other's noses.  (Default)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz - bolt of blue - infovore)

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