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This is deliberate badfic. I do not expect any of you to read it. However, lb and StPatience (who are From The Internet and non-fannish) did in fact read it and then spend a chunk of time quoting their favorite bits back to me... and it is good that they enjoyed it, because they helped with the brainstorming process.
do they have within, The sons of the glorious gods?" - the fic (1693 words) by azurelunatic
Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Breakfast Pastry (anthropomorphic)
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Thor/Breakfast Pastry, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Pizza, April O'Neil/Darcy Lewis
Characters: April O'Neil, Darcy Lewis, Thor (Marvel)
Additional Tags: no cylons, even though there are plenty of toasters, idk maybe one of the toasters is really a cylon, maybe one of the toaster pastries was a cylon, maybe you're a cylon, pop tarts, toaster pastries, I tried to get my friend to beta this, but all I got was a lecture about how I was using the wrong cooking product as lube, Not Beta Read, lube/not-lube, Not Lube, Recreational Drug Use, toasterfuck jizzworld
In the first Bad Bang, we saw Thor fucking a Pop Tart, while getting reamed by a Ninja Turtle. It was the most erotic thing I ever saw.
But I wanted to give it a sequel. So here is a Pop-Tart, fucking Thor to find out what is with in.
Contains boy kissing, pastires. Don't like don't read.
Bonus chatlog of the creative process below.
( From #adventuresofstnono )
[20:34] <@Purple> conclusion is "Step 1, get underpants... step 3 success!"
[20:34] * @AzureJaneL throws underpants at Purple
[20:34] * @AzureJaneL not sure whose
[20:35] * @Purple dodges effectively.
[20:35] <@AzureJaneL> (certainly not mine, as I'm wearing them)
[20:36] <@AzureJaneL> (but can he dodge the boomarang boxers, is the question)
[20:36] <@Purple> if they hold a shape that is a sad sad statement
[20:37] <@AzureJaneL> clever rolling and pins?
[20:37] <@AzureJaneL> would that be more or less painful than just straight up crusty?
[20:38] <@Purple> when you figure that out... remind me not to ask...
[20:39] <@AzureJaneL> that's one that would be difficult to explain to the IRB
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Now, a note about the Renaissance Man's sense of humor. He has often described it as "one step below", in that however low you have set the conversational tone, he will one-down you. If you have two people engaged in a game of one-downsmanship, things can get pretty grotesque pretty fast. I consider the theme of my particular sense of humor the ability to catch the theme and merrily go along with it. Sometimes this is in the spirit of rowing an already swiftly moving boat, and sometimes in the spirit of the martial artist who notices their opponent's fist traveling in an arc leading to the ground, and helpfully assists that arc to its inevitable completion.
The combination of these two conversational styles can get bizarre. Throughout the exchange, we were both giggling; I had become punchy enough to start crying laughing at a few points. The third party didn't really have much to say on the topic, but was enjoying the exchange with the same apparent appreciation as one might have for a spontaneous standup comedy act.
Being me, I recounted this to those of the usual suspects who hadn't been there; because it was that sort of conversation, I went for #adventuresofstnono rather than #cupcake. Then I shared with sithjawa, who also had horrifying and/or enlightening commentary. Several denizens of #adventuresofstnono who I don't know that well have been nicknamed.
azurelunatic: lb: so on the way back to my cube I encountered the Renaissance Man, and we started from "lb is a zombie today because Comcast" and wound up at "See you later, I'm going to go hot-glue some anchovies to a brick."
[00:36] sithjawa: I WAS WONDERING HOW THATHAPPENED
[00:36] sithjawa: BECAuSE ANCHOVIES
[00:36] sithjawa: are squishy
[00:36] azurelunatic: yes
[00:36] sithjawa: and also ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: such ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: so squish
[00:36] azurelunatic: wow
[00:37] sithjawa: very anchoview
[00:37] sithjawa: ..... anchovies. anchoview is the name of the overlook above the chili farm.
[00:37] azurelunatic: ... of course it is
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[21:39] <Azz> so there I was innocently minding my own business, and my bff sends me a picture of some of the characters from one of his games.
[22:42] <azurelunatic> ... oh dear god.
[22:42] <azurelunatic> I think I hate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
[22:43] <strixus> and why Azz?
[22:43] <strixus> i can think of plenty of reasons why to hate that book
[22:44] <azurelunatic> Okay, so there's this really juicy post-apocalyptic story about a girl who manages to craft a well-armed civilization out of the wreckage.
[22:45] <azurelunatic> And I'm 12, very invested, and then she discovers this WONDEROUS BOOK THAT CONTAINS ALL THE LESSONS THAT SHE WILL NEED TO SOLVE HER PROBLEMS, and of course I'm very curious what it is, and then it never says and I become furious.
[22:45] <shati> i liked the girl who owned a city when i was a young girl who knew nothing of ayn rand
[22:46] <azurelunatic> I re-read it as a 20-something, and fly into a pagan-agnostic rage, because clearly it's the Bible.
[22:46] <shati> ...IT IS?
[22:46] <strixus> oh god
[22:46] <azurelunatic> AND NOW I LEARN THAT IT IS AYN RAND WHICH IS WORSE
( In which alternate books are suggested and discussed. )
All this talk of books results in yet another cracky title that gets dropped into my NaNo to get it out of my head:
[23:12] <azurelunatic> so there's "The Dangerous Book for Boys", and "The Daring Book for Girls" --
[23:12] <azurelunatic> They were hanging out in Chad's room again, Max sprawled out on Chad's bed, and Chad kicked back in the desk chair reading "The Poorly-Behaved Book for Tiny Psychopaths".
[23:13] <alexseanchai> hee
[23:13] <Chokolatte-1955> lol
[09:51] <ursamajor> it helps that we have others around here who have been marinating in this stuff for years if not decades to help supplement
[09:52] <ursamajor> but it takes awhile to *get* to that deep understanding, and there's a whole bunch of intermediate understandings to go through in between.
[09:52] <ursamajor> plus it's often easier to communicate to a layman's understanding while you're not too far past layman yourself :)
[09:53] <shadowspar> believe me, when you feel like you have a good grip, on, say, perl, there's nothing like going to a conference with all the Lords Of The Perl Planet to make you feel like a dumbass again.
[09:53] <denise> yeah, i never know what i know until i try to teach it
[09:53] <shadowspar> I speak from personal experience.
[09:53] <denise> (or to brainstorm something with it)
[09:53] <denise> like, i keep startling myself because i make what i think are stupid suggestions to mark and he says "hey, that'd work!"
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[23:46] <Inoru> ...
[23:46] * Inoru sneeeerk
[23:46] <DW-Drew> Hey, I'm in TX, it's COMPLETELY possible for that to happen
[23:47] <Momijizukamori> ....I... can see that
[23:47] <Bugsy> email@example.com changed the Status on bug 4183 from CONFIRMED to RESOLVED FIXED.
[23:47] <Bugsy> Bug http://bugs.dwscoalition.org/show_bug.
[23:47] <Azz> In AZ, jackinnacrack frowned on walk-throughs
[23:48] <Inoru> so hey The Last Unicorn is actually a SERIES now, right?
[23:48] <DW-Drew> jackinnacrack is crazy (and on crack) and are therefore not part of this thought experiment
[23:48] <DW-Drew> (or IS it a thought experiment <.< >.>)
[23:48] <Momijizukamori> DW-Drew: Depends if you have a horse, I suppose ;)
[23:48] <Azz> WOO 2012 ACCORDING TO SITEDATE
[23:49] <DW-Drew> I.. have horse access
[23:49] <kjwcode> Azz: Booger Thing in my city doesn't allow walk-throughs, but one time while I was drunk as hell, wearing a toga, and carrying a violin they made an exception.
[23:49] * DW-Drew eyes kjwcode
[23:49] * Azz laughs hard enough to cough
[23:49] <DW-Drew> kj: pics or it didn't happen
[23:49] <kjwcode> DW-Drew: I was being Nero. There were no pictures, sadly.
[23:49] <Inoru> kj: Ahahahahahaha
[23:50] <Azz> the sensible 24-hour food places have walk-up windows.
[23:50] <DW-Drew> also, see, I'd be onna horse, so, technically, is that a walk-up?
[23:50] <kjwcode> DW-Drew: You could argue that you're not the one doing the walking. :)
[23:50] * DW-Drew says horse qualifies as vehicle for this purpose
[23:51] <rahaeli> kjwcode: somehow i am strangely not surprised that you have done this
[23:51] <kjwcode> I personally agree. :)
[23:51] * kjwcode giggles at rahaeli. :)
[23:52] <kjwcode> I'm extremely self-conscious and don't like costume parties, but since I couldn't get out of it I guess I went all out.
[23:52] <Momijizukamori> kjwcode: I think this is the best thing I've heard all night
[23:52] <kjwcode> Momijizukamori: Thank you! :)
[23:52] <Inoru> :D
[23:52] <Momijizukamori> (I went to an anime convention dressed as Virgil once)
[23:52] <Inoru> omg less than 10 minutes, PST :DD
[23:52] <Momijizukamori> (A friend was Dante. It was Yaoicon ;) )
[16:34] <@heeroluva> like always a high schooler, or always a pianist, or always a football player or what that's way out of line with canon
[16:35] <@Azz> ... so my brain pipes up with "Always a vuvuzela" when what was meant was "always a barista"
[16:35] * @Trialia snerks
[16:35] <@AD> lol
[16:35] <@heeroluva> hahaha
[16:35] <@greenlily-jeopardy> hee
[16:35] <@strixus> ....
[16:36] <@Azz> I HAVE NO EXPLANATIONS FOR THIS. Except that it's my brain, so.
[16:36] <@elyn> bweeee
[16:36] <@strixus> I'll trade you. When I started to write my yulegoat letter, it started to the tune of "Big Butts"
[16:36] <@heeroluva> o.O
[16:37] <@Azz> :D
[16:37] <@elyn> could have been worse. Could have been "always a vajazzle"
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12:54 AM 2/27/2011
... I think this was #freenode?
[00:53] <man_in_ltop> this guy sent a channel notice with the link, then a msg that said "this is not spam" and the link again, then /parted with the link in the message
[00:53] <Headbomb> send ninjas after him, have him disembowelled
[00:53] <man_in_ltop> so obviously it's legitimate
[00:53] <Headbomb> obviously
[00:53] <Azz|sick> obviously
[00:54] <man_in_ltop> obviously
[16:35] <Botfish> Just, y'know, ballroom dancing heroine, and a can of beans on the news is basically 1.500 words, right? I don't know.
[16:35] <Play> ...
[16:35] <Azz> I hate it when my pasta boils the fuck over
[16:35] <Play> can that be my next 1500 words?
[16:35] <Azz> YES
[16:35] <Play> I NEED THESE WORDS