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teenagewitch is very good at knowing when to call people. She had me call Darkside at the exact correct moment. He and I wound up talking for an hour.
( Cut edited in 2002.12.04 for sanity reasons )Somehow, I think it's going to take something other than sisterly teasing to cause change in the dynamics between myself and Darkside. We may have reached a stable point in our fucked-up friendship.
What am I saying?
The signs a year ago told me that this had the potential to become another Shawn thing.
...Look at it this way. We're friends, and he's not abusing my love of him. He doesn't exploit my adoration; he doesn't even accept adoration. Darkside has to know I care about him, and perhaps even how much I care about him. I do him the courtesy of not telling him, now that I've told him the once (twice, three times... he knows already, trust me), and he ... does a far better job of keeping himself to himself.
...I don't know how we could have talked for an hour. It was just random weird crap, silly things, giggling. There were a few moments when I think I almost crossed "the line" -- too flirtatious... I used
That Voice, the one that
pyrogenic complimented me on years and years ago. He said I could do phone sex to get me through college with that voice.
I feel empty, waiting, like there's something left undone somewhere in my head.
