I've come to a small conclusion:
Anyone wishing to understand me in depth should read Mansfield Park. As well as much Heinlein, Bujold, McCaffrey, Lackey, the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and Cherryh's Cyteen.
2002-06-10
For the Record:
Adam thinks Darkside should regain his manlihood
Darkside and Bald Guy are not good threesome material with American Pie 2
Saying you did Sailor Moon this weekend is not going to earn you respect. Not even if you did all the Sailor Scouts.
If they were cosplayers, on the other hand...
...but it does matter what sex the cosplayers were to start out with.
My new dessert/drink contains: vanilla ice cream, frozen raspberries, chocolate syrup, hersheys bars, and irish cream. Bailey's, of course.
I call it a "chocolate orgasm".
Darkside and Bald Guy are not good threesome material with American Pie 2
Saying you did Sailor Moon this weekend is not going to earn you respect. Not even if you did all the Sailor Scouts.
If they were cosplayers, on the other hand...
...but it does matter what sex the cosplayers were to start out with.
My new dessert/drink contains: vanilla ice cream, frozen raspberries, chocolate syrup, hersheys bars, and irish cream. Bailey's, of course.
I call it a "chocolate orgasm".
Darkside
After a night of drinking and carousing (I put the leftover Chocolate Orgasm into the freezer, btw) [mmm, carousing!] I came to school around sixish for breakfast with Darkside.
Discussed the current status of my feelings for him. I can now make jokes about him and me, sexually, without feeling like I'm going to cry, underneath. He doubted it, given that I was serious when saying this. I asked him to re-examine. He's rarely seen me serious-but-not-depressed; I pointed out that this was an anomaly. I summed up the results of my former unrequited love longterm situations; having one that's local and OK is a new one for me still.
Inquired as to whether or not he was the source of the Disturbance in the Force on Saturday night. He doubted. I invited him to call me any time if he needed to or wanted someone to help him get to sleep.
Brought up the touchy topic of What Is He Doing Over Break. Evidently his dad has threatened a lot of golfing. I inquired further as to movies. Depends on the movie, he said. I let him know that pretty much anything he'd want to see, I'd be OK with; I want to spend time with him outside of school, and I trust his taste in movies to fairly well coincide with mine. He asked me what, then, I would do if he assaulted my mind by deliberately taking me to something that both of us knew would stink, just to test my resolve. He mentioned something along the lines of "cartoon dog". I told him that actually, this sounded like fun, and I honestly didn't think that he could drag me to anything that would be *that* awful, and no matter how much I protested, I'd likely somewhere deep down enjoy it. He threatened me with Powerpuff Girls: The Movie. I threatened to strangle him, then admitted that deep down, yep, enjoyment would happen. Of the strangling or the movie? he wanted to know. Both.
Next he invoked Dungeons & Dragons, the movie. I admitted that I'd been planning to see it sometime. He began to describe the flaws in graphic detail. "Ron!" I hollered across the cafeteria, as my former dear C++ instructor had just entered. "Ron, he's traumatizing me!"
"Good for you!" Ron hollered back at Darkside.
Bald Guy came in at about this time, and joined in D&D:tM bashing. He then commented on my spiffy looks today: evidently a navy blue T-shirt, grey shorts, and lipstick counts as "spiffy"... I've worn all of these things before to school. I think it was the lipstick (and the Holy Fuck! perfume oil) that did it.
Darkside's presenting today in his Controls & Securities class. I'm not there, even though I do have the morning unscheduled, because I'm downloading Mandrake, or at least attempting it.
Discussed the current status of my feelings for him. I can now make jokes about him and me, sexually, without feeling like I'm going to cry, underneath. He doubted it, given that I was serious when saying this. I asked him to re-examine. He's rarely seen me serious-but-not-depressed; I pointed out that this was an anomaly. I summed up the results of my former unrequited love longterm situations; having one that's local and OK is a new one for me still.
Inquired as to whether or not he was the source of the Disturbance in the Force on Saturday night. He doubted. I invited him to call me any time if he needed to or wanted someone to help him get to sleep.
Brought up the touchy topic of What Is He Doing Over Break. Evidently his dad has threatened a lot of golfing. I inquired further as to movies. Depends on the movie, he said. I let him know that pretty much anything he'd want to see, I'd be OK with; I want to spend time with him outside of school, and I trust his taste in movies to fairly well coincide with mine. He asked me what, then, I would do if he assaulted my mind by deliberately taking me to something that both of us knew would stink, just to test my resolve. He mentioned something along the lines of "cartoon dog". I told him that actually, this sounded like fun, and I honestly didn't think that he could drag me to anything that would be *that* awful, and no matter how much I protested, I'd likely somewhere deep down enjoy it. He threatened me with Powerpuff Girls: The Movie. I threatened to strangle him, then admitted that deep down, yep, enjoyment would happen. Of the strangling or the movie? he wanted to know. Both.
Next he invoked Dungeons & Dragons, the movie. I admitted that I'd been planning to see it sometime. He began to describe the flaws in graphic detail. "Ron!" I hollered across the cafeteria, as my former dear C++ instructor had just entered. "Ron, he's traumatizing me!"
"Good for you!" Ron hollered back at Darkside.
Bald Guy came in at about this time, and joined in D&D:tM bashing. He then commented on my spiffy looks today: evidently a navy blue T-shirt, grey shorts, and lipstick counts as "spiffy"... I've worn all of these things before to school. I think it was the lipstick (and the Holy Fuck! perfume oil) that did it.
Darkside's presenting today in his Controls & Securities class. I'm not there, even though I do have the morning unscheduled, because I'm downloading Mandrake, or at least attempting it.
More morning
Darkside was underdressed for his presentation, in work uniform rather than all spiffy. I was hyper at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ralmathon and later his friend Gary in the cafeteria. I think I might have scared Gary just a bit.
Gary's cute.
I blamed Darkside for making me hyper. Darkside wanted to know what he'd done. Told him that the concept of non-date seeing movies together was hyper-inducing. No further commentary on topic. Much giggling about ice cream and database teachers.
I should avoid bouncing and crossing my eyes around Gary.
ralmathon and later his friend Gary in the cafeteria. I think I might have scared Gary just a bit. Gary's cute.
I blamed Darkside for making me hyper. Darkside wanted to know what he'd done. Told him that the concept of non-date seeing movies together was hyper-inducing. No further commentary on topic. Much giggling about ice cream and database teachers.
I should avoid bouncing and crossing my eyes around Gary.
Mandrake
Downloading it on the school connection. Going to take it home, grab appropriate drivers for my baby to install the Zip drive on 2k, then burn it to CD from the poor overstressed baby computer of digitalambience and have fun from there.
digitalambience and have fun from there.Evil alert: school censorship
Evidently DeVry's going to have babysitting ware sitting around watching where we're going and blocking us from certain websites now.
w00t. I cannot wait.
I think I'll go make faces at Darkside now.
w00t. I cannot wait.
I think I'll go make faces at Darkside now.
All your /mandrake/base are being downloaded to me, dammit, me!!
That's the longest 25 seconds remaining I've seen in a while. (some surfing passes) ...Now 15 seconds. Lots of fails to download. Darkside laughed at me.
Scooby Doo. Hm.
Hyper and disconnected. Nephew eats carrots with dinner now.
Scooby Doo. Hm.
Hyper and disconnected. Nephew eats carrots with dinner now.
/mandrake/base are belong to me!
downloading, bit by bit, byte by byte, FTP folder error by error by error. Having fun.
Sort of.
Computer labs are coldish, and my fingers are rubbery and not spelling quite right. I know at least the chill is objectively verified.
No, I don't really want to download flash 5.0 either... well, I'd like to, but I have no admin rights/responsibilities/easy fuckups on this box.
Going after the next folder. Mua-ha-ha. I will be a Linux geek. I *will* be!!!
Sort of.
Computer labs are coldish, and my fingers are rubbery and not spelling quite right. I know at least the chill is objectively verified.
No, I don't really want to download flash 5.0 either... well, I'd like to, but I have no admin rights/responsibilities/easy fuckups on this box.
Going after the next folder. Mua-ha-ha. I will be a Linux geek. I *will* be!!!
What am I doing when?
Good question. This link should cover everything school-related. I am in the 15 week sessions.
http://www.devry-phx.edu/academx/calendar.asp
Darkside will graduate Oct 25.
http://www.devry-phx.edu/academx/calendar.asp
Darkside will graduate Oct 25.
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I adore Darkside.
He's grasping my psychology really rather well. I was blaming him for causing my hyperactivity, yet failed to provide any evidence to back up my claim, in front of Gary. Realizing that pressing me more to reveal my emotional state in front of a stranger would be unproductive and unwise, he waited until we were alone and then questioned more deeply.
Alone, I answered. Honestly.
He's grasping my psychology really rather well. I was blaming him for causing my hyperactivity, yet failed to provide any evidence to back up my claim, in front of Gary. Realizing that pressing me more to reveal my emotional state in front of a stranger would be unproductive and unwise, he waited until we were alone and then questioned more deeply.
Alone, I answered. Honestly.