Too much mush... (entry from last night, much bitching and moaning)

[azurelunatic]

First, I am happy for them, beyond belief. They're so happy, and it delights me deep down to observe their happiness.

Unfortunately, it throws my loneliness into sharp contrast. Last year, at Mabon, I realized that I had no need to pray for love, as I already had it. I have the love of my family, the love of my friends... Vanyel still had friends and family after the departure of his lifebonded.

I think everyone has a need of romantic affection as well as love. Maybe not everyone, but I certainly do.

...It would not, as rainstorm13, I think it was, said, be fair to drag someone into my mess right now.

That doesn't prevent me from being lonely. It's not as bad as it was anymore. I'm not biting myself or curling into a ball in the corner. As much. I still have those horrible moments, but they're further between. I saved my ass by having sex and getting hugs; I'm probably going to try for hugs from other sources tonight.

I need hugs.

I'm going to have to have a very long conversation with Darkside on the topic of hugs, and why they're so vital.

Comments

Love Defined

[digitalambience.livejournal.com]

I agree with that everyone has a need of romantic affection as well as love. I think that in some way, shape or form, it's embedded in us all. I am also one to believe that you can have romantic affection without love. And you can have love without romantic affection. Or you can have both! Something that I think most people aim to have. I detect that you have a very good understanding of all this.

Re: Love Defined

[azurelunatic]

You've got it right there.

I've been finding that people I try to discuss the ins and outs and practicalities of poly with ... just don't get it, sometimes.

I'd rather be safe and know things about my partners' sex lives than not know and not be safe.