Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-17 10:28 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-17 10:28 am
Everyone does realize...
...that this recent upswing in posts that display me being miserable and/or lonely are not a change so much in my moods, but a change in how publicly I'm willing to broadcast, or even admit to myself, how I'm feeling.
Actual incidents of breaking down may appear to be up to those I show it to, but are in fact down, as I don't break down when alone even 1/10 as often. Every few weeks I find myself unhappy in front of Darkside; the length of the bad mood is now shorter, my reaction to the bad mood is less bad, and these days I usually have what the problem is hacked out beforehand, and I just need someone to tell me that I'm overreacting and things will be just fine; sometimes I'm even able to tell him that this is what I need to hear. I don't break down much more often than every other week or so in front of Darkside, anymore; some weeks I used to be breaking down every day.
I'm not breaking down over the same thing over and over like I used to. I'm digging out stuff and gettting it dealt with and getting ways to deal with it in place should it ever come up again. This morning, I needed reassurance and physical contact, which I got. So I'm good.
Actual incidents of breaking down may appear to be up to those I show it to, but are in fact down, as I don't break down when alone even 1/10 as often. Every few weeks I find myself unhappy in front of Darkside; the length of the bad mood is now shorter, my reaction to the bad mood is less bad, and these days I usually have what the problem is hacked out beforehand, and I just need someone to tell me that I'm overreacting and things will be just fine; sometimes I'm even able to tell him that this is what I need to hear. I don't break down much more often than every other week or so in front of Darkside, anymore; some weeks I used to be breaking down every day.
I'm not breaking down over the same thing over and over like I used to. I'm digging out stuff and gettting it dealt with and getting ways to deal with it in place should it ever come up again. This morning, I needed reassurance and physical contact, which I got. So I'm good.