azurelunatic: Kid in pink lying on orange couch with hen on their foot. (Nine)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-18 06:51 pm
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[livejournal.com profile] lugh: I haven't talked with you enough to even formulate a beginning answer to that question, and I suspect that it's one that you'll have to answer for yourself, and at that point that you do find the answer, you will likely also find that which you've been seeking.

[livejournal.com profile] sithjawa: Zinc oxide.
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[identity profile] lugh.livejournal.com 2002-10-19 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
tan-a-00 :)

I actually needed to hear something like that.. just to help me put some perspective on the whole situation.. and let me gather my thoughts (what few want to gather)

you ever have moments when you'd just like a shoulder to rest on.. not to cry on, or support.. just a shoulder to rest on and let you settle your brain?

I do... thank you :)
azurelunatic: Cartoon person with wild blue hair, glasses, black lipstick, and very small smile. (Azzcalm)

You're welcome.

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2002-10-19 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I get moments like those, definitely. The ones where I have what's wrong almost worked out, but just need to hear it confirmed from someone else who I trust, whose mind-workings and good intent toward me I trust, just to confirm that this is not one of the things that my mind's not trustworthy on, just to make sure that I can trust myself.

Fortunately for me, and I am truly thankful for this, I have someone like that here, who not only lets me pull my brain together when I know it's broken, but smacks me upside the head to get my brain back in gear even when I haven't noticed that it had slipped out again.

It's the self-psychoanalyst's worst nightmare, when you're trying to fix your own mind using your mind, the broken tool fixing itself. Paradoxically, it's also one of the greatest delights that it can work that way.

One of my deepest fears, one of the things that will keep me from becoming truly great until I get over it, is the fear of having some thought, some insight, that no one around me will hear or understand: something that I can shout to the universe as loud as I please, yet no one will respond.

Re: You're welcome.

[identity profile] lugh.livejournal.com 2002-10-20 09:03 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* you have a greateer wealth than you know :)
I'm glad you have such a wonderful support network available to you.. and I hope you are never without it :)
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)

Re: You're welcome.

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2002-10-20 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
Having been without it for so long, I treasure each of our days together.

He graduates Friday, and it's unknown what directions we'll go when left on our own, when school no longer binds us together.

I hope he'll choose to stay.
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