Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-07-15 02:34 am
azurelunatic) wrote2001-07-15 02:34 am
a little darkside on my phone
Well, the cards told Sis to tell me to call Darkside when we got home after the ill-fated pizza adventure (adventure to follow, after I get this entry out), so I did. He was working; I left a message with his dad. Apparently he must have called me back as soon as he got in; I wasn't expecting to call him back until eight-thirty, but he called me back at one minute after eight.
He was bored. I told him about the adventures at the convention, and we laughed our asses off. He'd been discouraged before at his general progress in the scheme of things religious, but I think that this cheered him up about that immeasurably.
I asked about movies; would he see Final Fantasy with me? He'd already seen it, Wednesday night. I bitched at him a bit, gently, for not dragging me along; for not at least calling, and then inquired as to how good/not it was. He discussed Final Fantasy (both game and movie) with me in great and loving detail.
From that, I believe we got into another discussion of magic. This one involved what's known as the Mind Whammy or Jedi Mind Trick, the art of convincing someone to say or do something, whether they would have or not.
My teacher(s) have had me practicing this in harmless ways. As Darkside and I share the same teachers and share the same topics, we started talking. Comparing notes.
He asked me to whammy him. I picked a topic. *I want Darkside to talk dirty,* I decided, and whammied at him.
I got the "Darkside" voice.
You must understand that there is a distinction between My Best Friend the Gentleman and Darkside. Best Friend is a very sweet guy. Darkside is his creatively evil side. There's a difference in voice when he's being evil and when he's not being evil.
I got Darkside.
We started talking about random stuff, and he tried to whammy me. I felt his energies playing around with me, and I tried to reinforce my earlier whammy.
His whammy failed. He was trying to get me to say "Hello." I said everything else but that, though...
Next we changed subject, and he manipulated me by several different means into saying "Bonk!" to him.
Our conversation got slightly more sexually charged, as I was getting tired, and I was somewhat less guarded in my tongue.
Somewhere along the lines, it became apparent that not only was it late, it was eleven o'clock. "Holy fuck!" I said, and then, for no apparent reason, "Spank me!"
Darkside next tried to whammy me into saying "Oral Sex." I knew what he was doing after I started screaming "Coffee!" for no reason, except that I was trying very hard to resist it, and I kept saying it...
It seems that in Sis's cosmology, the word "Coffee" for some reason means "oral sex."
I kept saying "Coffee," and refusing to tell him why. In attempting to say goodbye to me, he said something that sounded like "thank you." I asked him why he'd said that.
"I said 'Spank you'", he said, which provoked another round of yelling about coffee.
By the end of it all, I was completely distracted, and, from the sounds of it, so was he.
We hung up the phone at ten past eleven. I wandered out into the living room, hair askew, looking like a complete freak.
Sis, Alan, Dude, and Chick are all in the living room, looking expectantly at me.
"Well, did you get some?" they ask.
"Grr. No," I said. "He was trying to get me to say 'Oral Sex.' I wouldn't."
"Girl, go and masturbate," Sis said.
We proceeded to have a five-minute conversation, with me poking my head out the bedroom door again as soon as I closed it, on the topic of the conversation that Darkside and I had just had.
"Why don't you two have sex already?" Alan wanted to know.
"Go in the bathroom, lock the door, and turn on the fan, so we can't hear it," Dude advised.
"Do you need batteries?" Sis asked.
"Dammit, I want coffee!" I said, several times, along with assorted other profanity, and proceeded to disappear into the bathroom for the next half hour or more.
I emerged after that time, grabbed the bottle of 409 from under the sink, and disappeared back into the bathroom. Howls of laughter, and Dude's "Oh my god, she needs 409 to clean up her mess!" emerged from the living room.
I stomped back out with the 409, and returned the basket of batteries to its spot on top of the fridge.
"Feeling better?" Sis asked me.
"Rrrrrrr," I said.
"Uh-huh," she said.
There was much teasing.
I was amused, and drank the rest of the Mountain Dew that I had abandoned almost four hours earlier when he called...
He was bored. I told him about the adventures at the convention, and we laughed our asses off. He'd been discouraged before at his general progress in the scheme of things religious, but I think that this cheered him up about that immeasurably.
I asked about movies; would he see Final Fantasy with me? He'd already seen it, Wednesday night. I bitched at him a bit, gently, for not dragging me along; for not at least calling, and then inquired as to how good/not it was. He discussed Final Fantasy (both game and movie) with me in great and loving detail.
From that, I believe we got into another discussion of magic. This one involved what's known as the Mind Whammy or Jedi Mind Trick, the art of convincing someone to say or do something, whether they would have or not.
My teacher(s) have had me practicing this in harmless ways. As Darkside and I share the same teachers and share the same topics, we started talking. Comparing notes.
He asked me to whammy him. I picked a topic. *I want Darkside to talk dirty,* I decided, and whammied at him.
I got the "Darkside" voice.
You must understand that there is a distinction between My Best Friend the Gentleman and Darkside. Best Friend is a very sweet guy. Darkside is his creatively evil side. There's a difference in voice when he's being evil and when he's not being evil.
I got Darkside.
We started talking about random stuff, and he tried to whammy me. I felt his energies playing around with me, and I tried to reinforce my earlier whammy.
His whammy failed. He was trying to get me to say "Hello." I said everything else but that, though...
Next we changed subject, and he manipulated me by several different means into saying "Bonk!" to him.
Our conversation got slightly more sexually charged, as I was getting tired, and I was somewhat less guarded in my tongue.
Somewhere along the lines, it became apparent that not only was it late, it was eleven o'clock. "Holy fuck!" I said, and then, for no apparent reason, "Spank me!"
Darkside next tried to whammy me into saying "Oral Sex." I knew what he was doing after I started screaming "Coffee!" for no reason, except that I was trying very hard to resist it, and I kept saying it...
It seems that in Sis's cosmology, the word "Coffee" for some reason means "oral sex."
I kept saying "Coffee," and refusing to tell him why. In attempting to say goodbye to me, he said something that sounded like "thank you." I asked him why he'd said that.
"I said 'Spank you'", he said, which provoked another round of yelling about coffee.
By the end of it all, I was completely distracted, and, from the sounds of it, so was he.
We hung up the phone at ten past eleven. I wandered out into the living room, hair askew, looking like a complete freak.
Sis, Alan, Dude, and Chick are all in the living room, looking expectantly at me.
"Well, did you get some?" they ask.
"Grr. No," I said. "He was trying to get me to say 'Oral Sex.' I wouldn't."
"Girl, go and masturbate," Sis said.
We proceeded to have a five-minute conversation, with me poking my head out the bedroom door again as soon as I closed it, on the topic of the conversation that Darkside and I had just had.
"Why don't you two have sex already?" Alan wanted to know.
"Go in the bathroom, lock the door, and turn on the fan, so we can't hear it," Dude advised.
"Do you need batteries?" Sis asked.
"Dammit, I want coffee!" I said, several times, along with assorted other profanity, and proceeded to disappear into the bathroom for the next half hour or more.
I emerged after that time, grabbed the bottle of 409 from under the sink, and disappeared back into the bathroom. Howls of laughter, and Dude's "Oh my god, she needs 409 to clean up her mess!" emerged from the living room.
I stomped back out with the 409, and returned the basket of batteries to its spot on top of the fridge.
"Feeling better?" Sis asked me.
"Rrrrrrr," I said.
"Uh-huh," she said.
There was much teasing.
I was amused, and drank the rest of the Mountain Dew that I had abandoned almost four hours earlier when he called...