Knock Knock

[azurelunatic]

Nephew's gotten into knock-knock jokes lately. We don't know too many. We need HELP!

What we need to do is replace his favorite one, which is this:

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Foot.
B: Foot who?
A: Foot fat toilet! <hysterical laughter>


yaksha42 shared one that I'd never heard before:

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Interrupting cow.
B: Interrupting co--
A, interrupting: Moo!

Comments

[boojum.livejournal.com]

The interrupting cow one works as interrupting alien, too, and alien noises are fun to think up. Abbreviating "Knock, knock!" + "Who's there?" in jokes below for own sanity.

(
[intro]
A: Banana.
B: Banana who?
A: (something I've forgotten, maybe just giggling)
) several times, followed by:
[intro]
A: Orange.
B: Orange who?
A: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[intro]
A: Little old lady.
B: Little old lady who?
A: I didn't know you yodeled.

(same idea)
[intro]
A: Who.
B: Who who?
A: You're an owl!

There are books of knock-knock jokes. Beware though: the ones that are funnier the first time are actually more annoying as time goes on, not less.

[azurelunatic]

Oyyyyy.

I'll have to do the alien one, I think... that will be amusing.

I am now vaguely remembering some of these from my days as a little fayoumis.


We are also investigating the possibilities of elephant jokes.

[sithjawa.livejournal.com]

Here's one I came up with a while back, along the interrupting x lines:

A: Knock, knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Interrupting knock knock joke!
B: Interrupting knock knock--
A: Who's there?

Under the right circumstances, that could go on a while.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Actually the banana one goes like this:

A. Banana.
B. Banana who?
A. Knock knock.
B. Who's there?
A. Banana.
B. Banana who?
A. Knock knock.
etc., etc., for a few more times, until the kid decides to say orange and end the thing. If you have a really persistent kid who likes torturing you, though, this one could be -trouble- if you teach them, because unless they really -want- to get to the end...they LIKE stretching it out until you get to the end of your patience and scream, "Say orange already!" For some kids, that's funnier than actually getting to say "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

[azurelunatic]

You have just described what Nephew will do.

He and Votania both have a penchant for repeating things...

I can remember all these but not my seven times table?

[lasayla.livejournal.com]

My all time favourite as a kid was...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Spoon Mish¹
Spoon Mish who?
Eeeurgh! There's poo in your shoe? GROSS!

There's the fandom...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
You Know
You Know Who?
Aargh! Voldemort!²

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
Exterminate! Exterminate!

Or there's the mosquito trilogy...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anne
Anne who?
Another mosquito!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy next mosquito comes I'm gonna kill it!

And some miscellaneous ones...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tuba
Tuba who?
Tube o' toothpaste

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sir
Sir who?
Surprise!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
If he licks my ice-cream once more, I'll hit him

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Isobelle
Isobelle who?
Is a bell really necessary on a bike?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ella
Ella who?
Elementary my dear Watson!

And finishing up with the meta...

Will you remember me in a week?
Yes
Will you remember me in a month?
Yes
Will you remember me in a year?
Yes
Knock Knock
Who's there?
See! you've forgotten me already!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dozen
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody answer the door around here?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
I've come to fix the doorbell

and

Knock Knock
*hands over a card saying 'knock down ginger³' and runs away giggling*


¹ That one's designed for Brummies, you'll have to futz with it until it works in your accent.
²I can't actually remember if Nephew is the right age for HP fandom or if you're avoiding that until he's had a chance to learn about real witchcraft and not confuse the two.
³ Or Knock Door Run or whatever you call it in your neighbourhood when a kid rings the doorbell then runs away.

Voldemort

[azurelunatic]

He's into Harry Potter all right. Since he's been learning about real witchcraft from day 0, he's already got the two separate...

Accents & stuff

[azurelunatic]

1) Not sure how to adapt that one.

3) If there's a local thing for it, I'm not aware of it... and for some reason the kids don't prank the scary witches.

[azurelunatic]

A loooong time, with him.