azurelunatic | Latest preoccupation of the Lunatic:

I am like my mother in that, if I am annoyed (mildly or otherwise) I'll rant and rave and fuss. If I'm truly ANGRY then I get deadly silent.

What I've always told people about me is that if I'm fuming aloud, then just comiserate with me, because it will pass. If I get really, really quiet..... beware the dragon, for she hath claws and you taste mighty good with ketchup.

By the way, I was checking in on you because I've dreamt about you the past 2 nights and I was looking in your journal to see if I could figure out why. I did figure out why but not sure you'd be interested in my theories on it.

Go right ahead. I'm all about odd things happening.

Dunno about everyone else, but I'm enjoying it.

Cool.

Well, I don't really know all the correct terminology (because truth be told, I'm a bit of a skeptic).... just what a friend of mine has told me and what I've observed of you. I'm going to attempt to tell you what's been going on and you are welcome to draw your own conclusions.

Do you know what "dream walking" is? Visiting others in their dreams, either in your spirit form or inhabiting the form of another object/person? A variant of out-of-body experiences, right? Sometimes in a dream, a person or place doesn't look like anything you've ever seen before but your dream self "knows" this person or place.

Well, in the last few weeks on 3 or 4 (non-consecutive) nights, I've dreamt of a dark blue building... it looks to be stretching into the sky with no end. A shadowy person seems to "appear" to me and says, "The building is me. I am the building" and then fades away as mist. Each time the shadowy veiled person has appeared, my dream self "knew" it was you.

I'd been checking LJ to see if I could identify if it was "you" or just a representation of you. The times I've checked your journal, you have mentioned not sleeping well or feeling restless. But I still didn't think too much of it. According to my friend Heidi, she dream walks frequently but the next morning is tired and/or headachy or restless the next day. Although I've always been a skeptic, she has always been able to tell me details of my dreams that I had not revealed to anyone. She's not psychic, but she just says she watches my dreams and that's how she knows what I've dreamt. She told me it doesn't always work that way for all dream walkers but that is how it works for her.

Now, I really didn't think anything of your "cameos" in my dream until she called me at work the other day (when I left this comment originally in your journal) and said, "Who is Darkside?"

I just stopped dead and asked her how in the world she knew that. She knows nothing of LJ, and nobody she knows does the internet thing.

I asked her where she had heard the name and she said, "Last night, a person, female I think, came to you and said that she was that dark blue building you dream about. In your dream, the building is called Darkside."

That's not even the freakiest part (to me). I've been experimenting with Lucid Dreaming (being in your subconscious with your conscious mind and able to control your dreams) for awhile now and have now gotten to the point that I can slip into it in the middle of a dream using a trigger, rather than at the beginning. After hearing that the building was called Darkside, and confirming that as truth, I decided to attempt lucid dreaming last night and use the building as a trigger to try and "talk" to the shadow person that I thought was you. Strangely, I could NOT activate my conscious mind! It was only the second time I've not been able to get a trigger to work for me.

The only other time that has happened to me is when Heidi was dream-walking the night after my grandmother died. Because to have my conscious presence there, and grieving, might overwhelm her spirit form and keep her there longer than is safe for her.

Joanie, I don't know you except through brief exchanges in LJ and occasionally peeking in on your LJ..... I don't know if you will dismiss this as whatever or if you think there is something to this. You are welcome to make of it what you will. I just felt the need to share it with you.

So there ya go...

Interesting.

That one's going to take a bit of processing.

Is it plain blank dark blue, or are there any details?

All I can remember is that it's a very dark "glowing" blue (but not neon glowing... hard to explain... it probably comes from your nick "Azure"... unconscious mind latching on to that). The building is tall and skinny not quite upright... kinda bendy... slightly curved. Can't see the top because it disappears into the sky. I can see windows but they aren't on every level. They are intermittent but there is still a pattern to them. Not a pattern I recognize, but seems significant that it's not a typical window placement.

I'm standing at the bottom with the building to my... ummm... northwest on the compass if north is directly in front of you. The shadowy figure appears on my.... northeast.

I know the *exact* glowing you mean.

And yes, I *have* been trying to aim my dreams for the past while. Just... not necessarily in your direction...

Have you, just perchance... been aiming for Crisavec? That is the only connection I can come up with....

Like I said, I'm a skeptic, and I can't claim any special abilities. But I seem to have a higher than normal empathic ability. I have an uncanny knack for keying into OTHER PEOPLE'S emotions and feelings and sometimes (as you might have been aware through other means) act on them rashly, as if they were my own.

If you are doing anything in Dave's direction, I might just be getting... ummmm... residuals or overspill ?

I dunno.... t'is strange really.

Nothing in Dave's direction at all, actually. At all.

Then chalk it up to coincidence or an overactive imagination. :-)

Alaska is home, and I've been thinking about my best friend Darkside very strongly in connection with home.

Nope, neither, not with something this strong... you, and Iroshi, and I were all getting the very similar image of the blue building, and the glowing part of it... the glowing came up independantly for all of us, so that to me says a lot about the lack of coincidence.

Plus... Darkside? So, so not coincidence.

And you and Dave happen to be among the few people I'm familar with on LJ who live in Alaska.

The Viking says the building might be representative of the Middle Pillar, and he suggests looking into Hermeticism.

You have to understand that although I try to keep an open mind about stuff like this, it still scares the shite outta me (the uninitiated trying to understand the unexplainable... rather like your recent post about FatherSir and his religious upbringing... yeah).

More things on heaven and earth, eh?

The really weird thing? I recently have been reading

iroshi more also because you and she are so incredibly fascinating to me.... so different in beliefs but so (don't take this the wrong way!) REAL. I haven't dreamt her yet but I have heard her name used in my dreams.

But I'm still getting the creepies about the glowing pillar/blue building. Sorry, this is a bit new to me. heheh

I am not comprehending.... can you dumb this down a bit for me?

Naa....couldn't be aiming at me. I'm sure she'd never aim anything in my direction. Not interesting enough... :-)

Interesting....that matchs my mental image of Darkside. Tall, skinny, blue(blue jacket) slightly curved.

Hmm....

Any dream with me in it is likely to bring Darkside,

iroshi, and/or

sithjawa along with it.

I understand completely about the freaking out bit. I was none too coherent for some of the first really interesting things.

It sounds very much like you're developing some senses that have the potential to serve you well in the future and help you do great good, or freak the living daylights out of you on a regular basis. To avoid the freaking-out part, be reminded that faith regularly acknowledged and renewed and focused is one of the most, if not the most, powerful tool against harmful influences.

iroshi looked at the blue building and analyzed it to be "good solid stable [me]", and that is, if not a *safe* thing to have in a dream, at least not a thing of intentional harm. Glowing is a frequent sign of high energy or life force, and that's the exact color blue I remember as being my color. Glowing and all.

Another thing in your inability to talk might be my security. At the present, only a very few people have the authority to do anything with my dreams. Darkside protects me, especially when I'm focused on him, and his guards are more touchy than mine.

No problem.

The Middle Pillar's from the Kabalistic take on mysticism. Are you familiar with that? It's the Hebrew system, and deals with angels of differing ranks and functions, as well as explaining stuff.

On the Tree of Life, there are three different "pillars": Mercy, Mildness, and Severity. Mercy and Severity are pretty self-explanatory; they deal with the divine virtues of both infinite mercy and infinite kicking of ass. Mildness is what humans strive to attain, a careful balance of all attributes in a form not too Divinely strong for a human. Perfect Mercy or perfect Severity in a human are the things that tragic flaws are made of: unstable, unbalanced.

The Middle Pillar is Mildness, and that checks with what

iroshi said about the blue building being my stable self.

I'm not particularly familiar with Hermeticism, but it's something the Viking's studied, and what bit I read to him of the description of your dream struck a chord with that for him, somehow. I can't go further into it because I haven't the foggiest either.

Well, you're obviously the conduit by which she's getting all this... I can *see* the pathtrace, it's thin blue lines, a pair of them, looks like a faded bundle, by which I accessed her dreams. (Don't ask me how I can see this; I don't know.)

They web out after hitting you. I've been thinking about home, and settling down, and my mind hits Alaska when it thinks permanent home. And right now you're my strongest daily link to home. So looks like it's been hitting you, then fanning out, and since she's Sensitive, she gets the full effects. Wonder what's popping up in That Idiot Shawn's dreams? Or Winter's? Bet he hasn't shielded her yet, and I know my shielding of him's long worn off.

*giggle*

He's 5'7", skinny, black jacket or tan trench coat... *giggle*

Hmm...so why do I have him pictured as tall and blue?

oh yeh? hmm, that is interesting. (and no, I won't ask how you see it)

That doesn't actually surprise me that it would fan out to her, she tends to pick up on me and things radiating off me that even I am unaware of.
She and I were talking about it tonight and she reminded me of a conversation that we'd had awhile back(years) about how while I don't consider myself Sensitive or a Talent(what I generaly call it...damn McCaffrey), I seem to attract those people that are towards me, like I'm a linchpin that they all fall around.

Winter? you think Shawn would even recognize any of this or know how to shield her?

It sounds very much like you're developing some senses

You /aren't/ supposed to say that. You were supposed to be amused by my little retelling of a silly dream and that be that.

Really, I hadn't intended to have it get to this point. I mean, it was just a dream....... right?

iroshi looked at the blue building and analyzed it to be "good solid stable [me]"

The building was grounded both on earth and in sky.... yes, I remember it as stable.

Shawn's got some experience about stuffs. Who knows whether he's current or not... but in a tight situation I could count on him.

Sort of like I'm not a gamer, but I gather them around me...

Because he's the building?

And also because he puts off an image of vague intimidation to would-be rivals. My ex-fiance saw him as tall too.

He comes across, mentally, as blue, because he's connected with Azz. (Which would seriously bother -him- if he knew we talk about him this way, BTW. He's not ready to know this stuff yet.)

And her name is AZURElunatic for a reason.

He -is- tall and blue. He's tall; she's blue. THEY are tall and blue.

But I'm still getting the creepies about the glowing pillar/blue building. Sorry, this is a bit new to me. heheh

We regularly refer to all stuff of this sort, as a group and category, as 'weird shit'. Both lightheartedly and seriously. We -know- it's WEIRD SHIT, darlin'. The only reason we're not spooked by it is because we've been dealing with it for too long. I can't be spooked by seeing strange things when I've been seeing them all my life. You're not spooked by suddenly being confronted with a chair. You know what a chair is, you see them all the time. *shrug* I know what a ghost is; I don't see them *all* the time...but then I don't suppose you run across deep leather executive chairs with five rolling casters and brass tacks everyday, either. It's just a thing. Weird Shit Happens. You get used to it.

Or you don't.

texasmeercat is still apologetic for every little piece of Weird Shit information she gets and acts on. She bought E a stone box (like for holding jewelry or trinkets in) as a welcoming gift...and was apologetic about choosing that one. "There were some with a prettier pattern, but this one just...I don't know. It *felt* better. I don't know if that makes any sense..." We had to tell her (not once, but several times, and several days later I had to reassure her and tell her -again-) that we understood -completely-, and as soon as we touched it we agreed wholeheartedly. This box has a *wonderful* energy to it. It feels soothing to the touch, and it charges any jewelry held in it with good energy. We LIKE it.

But Meer gets this data so seldom, and trusts it so little, that she apologizes for acting on it. She trusts and acts on her instincts only because life has kicked her in the head too many times over the years when she didn't...but she's apologetic about it whenever other people notice her doing it. *sigh*

Personally, I think the world is a more wide and wonderful place for being able to see that there are more layers to it than most people think. That there *are* more things on heaven and earth...that the universe is complicated, and that energy matters, and Weird Shit Happens. I like the weird. Embrace the weird!

I don't consider myself Sensitive or a Talent

You're not a Talent. You're a Ground. Of course Talents seek you out.

Just a dream, but one with lots of nice solid information. That one seems to be telling me a confirmation of a lot of things I already knew, but things that I hadn't thought about knowing.

It also told me that I am indeed wandering around in my sleep more than I thought I was.

Yep, it's real. And it can be lots of fun. I got a little manic-focused, because that's what I do when I'm working on something. I used to do that in art class all the time...

He knows a lot of things on a deep level that his mind's not ready to be processing consciously yet.

gremliness was talking about a Tower card, making things tumble down for rebuilding.

I don't think it's quite time for that yet for him, though the car thing is ... interesting.

I got my formal introduction to the Weird one day when I sat down and started talking with this guy, who wound up telling me his life's story, part of which I told to him... well, he'd been having some interesting things happen, and I told him about things, or things got told to him through me... I wasn't really sure how I was knowing all this stuff, but it was the right things to be saying, and he was Getting It, even if I wasn't.

It seemed perfectly normal at the time, which is why I didn't freak.

That was the spring of 2000, sometime in May/June, right around the time I was Told that I was to come here.

Hmm.....that actually makes a kind of sense.

A Ground?

Elaborate pretty please???

*laughs*

"And there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio.."

Yeah, yeah - like I /wouldn't/ get drug into /this/ post, what with the coincidence assaulting /my/ life lately. :)

Anyroad - to offer a slightly different perspective, from he whose Wierd is definitely still unclassified, untutored, and largely uninformative:

Don't be afraid of becoming Aware. It's unsettling, it's unnerving - but it's only those things because somewhere along the way you've been bombarded with the idea that this world is actually sane, ordered, and vaguely fatalistic - that wierd things Happen to Other People, if they happen at all.

The truth is, you're just tapping into what everyone has the potential to tap into - call it what you want: the Unconscious, the universal spirit, the power of Coincidence, the Bardic Voice, the capriciousness of Eris, or the divine channel to the Jade Emperor, it's all the same thing. It is the raw spiritual power of a human being to impose their will upon this world of empty shadows and half-formed ideas..

.. that's all this world is, after all. Real is so realative a term as to be almost nonexistant, and Einstein even put it into an equation for the scientists to see. (E=Mc^2? Energy is matter as it relates to the maximum attainable speed of a waveform affected by our perception thereov? That's more than quantum physics, really - that's an attempt to quantify all things as one, unified field... the beginnings, actually, of the Unified Field Theorem. :) Bah. :) Anyroad..) But don't be afraid of these things - careful, sure. Unsettled, sure - but fear is a reaction that ultimately dulls the senses and drives us away from discovery.

*hug*

Heck, maybe when you figure out some of it, you can tell me, mmm?

Ishmael

One of the things that makes me most touched upon remembering is the way he showed up as over 6 feet when interacting with BJ. BJ was Dangerous, and I suppose Darkside decided he'd just be quietly intimidating.

Grounds bring stability. It's really hard to knock one of them off-center, and they can usually chill out just about any situation by being present. They often get the "I will dump all my problems at you because you won't react badly to them" effect from people, friends and strangers.

When a Ground is off-balance, those around had best to run, unless they're capable of grounding someone forcefully.

Rereading year old posts huh?

Yeh...your decription of a Ground sounds scarily like me most of the time.

Yep. I try to re-read every year, and this time I think I'm going to try for re-reading each month as it was last year (and earlier too.)

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