Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-02-08 05:54 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-02-08 05:54 am
my heart going boom, boom, boom...
I'm surprised I turned out as sane as I am. FatherSir had rather too much of the religion thrust upon him when he was a kid, and therefore left us on our own. It wasn't frowned upon -- just Not Talked About.
Mystical things and magic, it was made very clear, were only believed in by kids or very, very foolish adults who had too many holes in their brain to learn real science. Every day, I know that if I were to tell my father that I have seen and felt some bloody weird things, that I have a habit of speaking other people's thoughts aloud before they've half thought them, he would say very little, but think me a failure, and never trust my mind again. My senses have constantly fought with everything I've been taught.
I always date my devotion to the Art to the summer of 1994, when FatherSir's old family friend O. died, and left his books in my hands. He only had two esoteric books (Mastering Witchcraft and the Satanic Bible), only one of which I chose to keep (any guesses which one I handled gingerly and quickly gave to the used book store?) but that was enough. Savil took one look at me when I came back from vacation and gave me some books and directed me back to Lackey to learn the basics. That's the date I remember, but when I look back in my old journals, it's always been there.
I sensed auras in high school gym class. I cast the particularly ill-advised love spell that later drew me and Darkside to meet each other. I noticed that Galadriel and her cats were the most Sensitive among my friends. Narcissa took me into particularly interesting trance states. We talked to fairies and played with numerology.
It was a long time ago that my mind recognized that there were more things in heaven and earth than either Horatio or my father would be willing to admit, but it took a while before I could consistently believe it was not just my imagination.
Mystical things and magic, it was made very clear, were only believed in by kids or very, very foolish adults who had too many holes in their brain to learn real science. Every day, I know that if I were to tell my father that I have seen and felt some bloody weird things, that I have a habit of speaking other people's thoughts aloud before they've half thought them, he would say very little, but think me a failure, and never trust my mind again. My senses have constantly fought with everything I've been taught.
I always date my devotion to the Art to the summer of 1994, when FatherSir's old family friend O. died, and left his books in my hands. He only had two esoteric books (Mastering Witchcraft and the Satanic Bible), only one of which I chose to keep (any guesses which one I handled gingerly and quickly gave to the used book store?) but that was enough. Savil took one look at me when I came back from vacation and gave me some books and directed me back to Lackey to learn the basics. That's the date I remember, but when I look back in my old journals, it's always been there.
I sensed auras in high school gym class. I cast the particularly ill-advised love spell that later drew me and Darkside to meet each other. I noticed that Galadriel and her cats were the most Sensitive among my friends. Narcissa took me into particularly interesting trance states. We talked to fairies and played with numerology.
It was a long time ago that my mind recognized that there were more things in heaven and earth than either Horatio or my father would be willing to admit, but it took a while before I could consistently believe it was not just my imagination.
no subject
"Not really, no. But that's not what you're asking me."
"It's not?"
"Nope. What you're asking me is, do you believe in weird shit? And the answer is yes. Of course I do. I'd have to be crazy not to."
-conversation within Sandman book 9, "The Kindly Ones."
Only a just barely relevant quote. Still one that amuses me.
no subject
FatherSir doesn't believe in weird shit. q
::nod::
I was instructed to read the Arrows trilogy specifically to deal with Empathy. It's amazing how a good story can hold a deeper lesson, isn't it?
(Assuming you're referencing the same Lackey.)
Re: ::nod::
My comment was, "But that's fiction!"
Savil's reply: "Ha ha ha." Approximately.
Re: ::nod::
no subject