Short opinion on the pr0n/no porn
thing that's been going around: yes, I approve of pornography and erotica, especially erotica.
However, as with everything, it's to be used with caution.
( Porn as sex-ed can be a good thing with supervision. ) I like to pride myself that I have a realistic ideal body image and physical standards for myself.
( No, actually, it is pretty realistic. )I have found that attitude, personality, and mind is the defining factor in the sort of relationship that lasts, not a porn-star body.
pyrogenic, I thought he was nearly the ugliest man on Earth. Then I fell in love two seconds after I realized that he also liked
Star Trek. That was my defining moment in the
contents != cover lesson. I realized that while his initial impression was Mr. Ugly, deciding that I loved him made me find him extremely hot. And I'm talking hot to the point where I was painfully aroused in his presence.
Then there was Slackerprep. Buff, but not too bulging with unnatural muscles. Tanned, but not in the courting skin cancer way. Smooth, attractive voice, and that certain sparkle in his eye. After a few weeks of dealing with him, he made my skin crawl. Not only was he offensively overly familiar, but he was dumber than two rocks being banged together by a bit of primordial ooze. I have trouble seeing clean-cut preppy-type men as attractive, anymore.
In the end, I found that while there wasn't one physical look that would turn me on in men, that the men I found lastingly attractive were the ones who I was able to spend time with, the ones who could smile just so, get me to double over laughing, never made me jumpy and distrustful. Best friend material, in other words. Long hair that can be played with a bonus.
Some women declare that they want to look like fashion models, or that they can't measure up to porn-star standards.
( *shudder* )I don't really think that men expect porn stars to be real women, any more than women expect the mannequins in department stores to look like real women. (YMMV, of course.)
( I expound. )If someone's in a sexual relationship, and only wants sex out of it, and not actual relationship stuff, then they might as well be wanking to porn. There will be just as much, if not more, involvement, and less chance of hearts breaking. If, however, they're mature enough to want hugging, kissing, couple in-jokes (right, hotlips? *ducks*), and all the other things that come with a relationship, that's what porn can't give, and a real partner can.