In which one of those thingers is actually pretty accurate:
My social skills make it not so blindingly obvious that I consider many people who are not as smart as me actually very dumb indeed. Average is indeed boring...
2004-08-07
My social skills make it not so blindingly obvious that I consider many people who are not as smart as me actually very dumb indeed. Average is indeed boring...
Fwd: Things we learn from kids...
For those with no children, this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas (and probably a few more)...
Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
( Read more... )
Work & Sleep
Got awakened by a half-coherent phone call from Sis's Blabbermouth Cousin, who wanted to know if the wedding was this Thursday. Or something. I was mostly asleep, but managed to get the cellphone number to him so he could talk to someone awake.
Dreamed things. Crucial things. I'm going to be hacking on this thing for a while; bear with me.
Work was work. I was on the phones, and really tired and ready for the day to get over. We got out early. I traumatized co-workers with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
metaquotes silliness on my palmtop; ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trystan_laryssa and I cracked each other up across the area by making hand gestures going with last night's discussion of flying bishies. *eyes pyrogenic covertly*
Comics to do: professionally hanging up on you.
Asshat of the Evening: person who didn't think the company name was the actual company name.
Dreamed things. Crucial things. I'm going to be hacking on this thing for a while; bear with me.
Work was work. I was on the phones, and really tired and ready for the day to get over. We got out early. I traumatized co-workers with
metaquotes silliness on my palmtop; trystan_laryssa and I cracked each other up across the area by making hand gestures going with last night's discussion of flying bishies. *eyes pyrogenic covertly* Comics to do: professionally hanging up on you.
Asshat of the Evening: person who didn't think the company name was the actual company name.
happy! (work)
Got a proper screen protector for AzureBlue. Hooray! Now I can actually write on this thing.
Filked: Never feed espresso to the dialer TTTO battle hymn of the republic.
Filked: Never feed espresso to the dialer TTTO battle hymn of the republic.
Things that shouldn't be down...
One thing that shouldn't be down at work is the printer that prints the monitor reports. It's not down, really, just causing massive network errors of some unspecified sort, so we can use it to copy, but not to print. We had to have someone set up access to another printer on the network (fortunately for our workday, this was done before I came in) and we were told to print to only that printer.
The default printer was the one we weren't supposed to print to, of course. I said a close approximation of "fuck this shit" to myself and set up the new printer as the default, with intent to reset the other as default when I signed off.
That, of course, was after we were able to get on the computers. Some genius had locked up access again by typing in the wrong password three times, locking several of us out. I got to help people out with their own computer woes, of course. I had the one guy somehow forget to select a funnel to dial. I had two computers fail to reboot properly right across from each other.
It was that kind of day. Somehow, my purse falling in the toilet at the beginning of lunch break wasn't that much of a surprise...
The default printer was the one we weren't supposed to print to, of course. I said a close approximation of "fuck this shit" to myself and set up the new printer as the default, with intent to reset the other as default when I signed off.
That, of course, was after we were able to get on the computers. Some genius had locked up access again by typing in the wrong password three times, locking several of us out. I got to help people out with their own computer woes, of course. I had the one guy somehow forget to select a funnel to dial. I had two computers fail to reboot properly right across from each other.
It was that kind of day. Somehow, my purse falling in the toilet at the beginning of lunch break wasn't that much of a surprise...
Entry tags:
And when there is strife at work, the Lunatic sings:
TTTO "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Never feed espresso to the dialer
It'll send you calls as fast as it can pile 'er
You'll be getting hangup calls
It'll drive you up the walls
And the calls keep coming in.
Always read the script they give to you verbatim:
"Are there any teens at home?" "No, sir, we ate 'em!"
You will smile; you have no choice
Try not to show it in your voice
As the calls keep coming in.
Chorus:
Never feed espresso to the dialer
It'll send you calls as fast as it can pile 'er
You'll be getting hangup calls
It'll drive you up the walls
And the calls keep coming in.
Never get profane with your respondent
It will make your supervisor so despondent
And the FCC will say
You must go home for the day
But the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
From time to time we have an occurrance*
Endeavor please: prevent their recurrance
You are getting paid to stay
Please don't skip out every day
'cause the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
Always try averting** your refusers
Though some of them do sound like utter losers
Yes, they're irate
And you're scheduled off at eight
Let the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
* Occurrence: the technical term for absent/late/leaving early/other values of not-being-there at my workplace.
** Averting: another technical term, in this case "attempting to pursuade them to do the survey, even if it is another day."
Never feed espresso to the dialer
It'll send you calls as fast as it can pile 'er
You'll be getting hangup calls
It'll drive you up the walls
And the calls keep coming in.
Always read the script they give to you verbatim:
"Are there any teens at home?" "No, sir, we ate 'em!"
You will smile; you have no choice
Try not to show it in your voice
As the calls keep coming in.
Chorus:
Never feed espresso to the dialer
It'll send you calls as fast as it can pile 'er
You'll be getting hangup calls
It'll drive you up the walls
And the calls keep coming in.
Never get profane with your respondent
It will make your supervisor so despondent
And the FCC will say
You must go home for the day
But the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
From time to time we have an occurrance*
Endeavor please: prevent their recurrance
You are getting paid to stay
Please don't skip out every day
'cause the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
Always try averting** your refusers
Though some of them do sound like utter losers
Yes, they're irate
And you're scheduled off at eight
Let the calls keep coming in.
Chorus
* Occurrence: the technical term for absent/late/leaving early/other values of not-being-there at my workplace.
** Averting: another technical term, in this case "attempting to pursuade them to do the survey, even if it is another day."