Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-22 04:23 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-22 04:23 pm
Love Languages (and how it applies to my own relationship)
Ro has an entry.
I reproduce the quoted material that she dug up.
Interesting.
Blondie seems to be very much expressing his affections through touch. I noticed this when he was with his girlfriend. This is excellent, as I take affection that way. I seem to also do very well with Quality Time. ...This seems to be one of his blind spots. It would be very nice if someone would grab him by both ears and let him know that one of the best ways to make me know that he cares about me would be to spend time with me, even if we don't have time to do anything. I am not so overwhelmed with the whole gift thing; I like gifts well enough, but the fact of giving me a gift is not going to knock me over and make me go, "Awwwww..." ...unless the gift demonstrates, perfectly, that he knows me to the degree that he does (which the gift of X did). Words... words are good, but words without time and touch do very little. Acts of service... I require that anyone with me is able to take care of themselves, and while it would be mildly pleasing for someone to do the breakfast in bed thing for me, it doesn't make me go "Awww" and feel all warm & snuggly & loved. No. My "I am excellently and thoroughly loved" trigger is when someone proves to me that they know me.
I reproduce the quoted material that she dug up.
Gary Chapman's theory of the five love languages is as follows: each of us has a "love tank" that needs to be filled. If our love tanks are full, we are happy, fulfilled, and have a positive view of our marriages/spouses. If our love tanks are not full, we feel empty, unhappy, and have a less positive view of our marriages and spouses. Each of us has a primary "language" of love, which we both speak when we give love, and in which we expect to receive love. The five languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Physical Touch.
The theory behind these five love languages is, in order to completely fill your spouse's love tank, you need to figure out which language they respond to most, and then begin expressing love to them in that way, even if it isn't your natural inclination to express love that way. When you do this, they will automatically feel much more loved, and they will reciprocate, thus, your marriage will stay much more fulfilling, and you will be able to share love much more effectively.
Citation: The Five Love Languages
Interesting.
Blondie seems to be very much expressing his affections through touch. I noticed this when he was with his girlfriend. This is excellent, as I take affection that way. I seem to also do very well with Quality Time. ...This seems to be one of his blind spots. It would be very nice if someone would grab him by both ears and let him know that one of the best ways to make me know that he cares about me would be to spend time with me, even if we don't have time to do anything. I am not so overwhelmed with the whole gift thing; I like gifts well enough, but the fact of giving me a gift is not going to knock me over and make me go, "Awwwww..." ...unless the gift demonstrates, perfectly, that he knows me to the degree that he does (which the gift of X did). Words... words are good, but words without time and touch do very little. Acts of service... I require that anyone with me is able to take care of themselves, and while it would be mildly pleasing for someone to do the breakfast in bed thing for me, it doesn't make me go "Awww" and feel all warm & snuggly & loved. No. My "I am excellently and thoroughly loved" trigger is when someone proves to me that they know me.
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