Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-14 07:08 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-14 07:08 am
The "Well, DUH" moment: Darkside, multiplicity
The main front, Joanie/Azz, is the mutable one still. All the wisdom and experience and so forth, with the alters as the current specialists.
And I change myself, depending on the group I'm with.
I've said it before, but this time it really hit home: I love Darkside in part due to the fact that no matter who I am with him, he cares about me the same. Many people consciously or unconsciously avoid sides of me, encourage me to show only part of myself, the part that they like the best. He prefers me the way that I am, and he prefers the best parts of me, but does not shun my darkness when it's evident that that's the bit of me that needs the love and attention at some moment.
I like who I am, around him. Even when I'm who I don't like, he encourages me not to hate myself. He likes me best when I'm happy and whole, but doesn't hate me when I'm not, and, most key, doesn't fear me when I'm not.
Even when I'm happiest, with most people, there's still that little bit of me that realizes that I'm blending in, putting on protective coloration, still seeking to become someone who will be accepted.
With him, I don't need to; he takes me as I am, and makes me see who I want to be.
And I change myself, depending on the group I'm with.
I've said it before, but this time it really hit home: I love Darkside in part due to the fact that no matter who I am with him, he cares about me the same. Many people consciously or unconsciously avoid sides of me, encourage me to show only part of myself, the part that they like the best. He prefers me the way that I am, and he prefers the best parts of me, but does not shun my darkness when it's evident that that's the bit of me that needs the love and attention at some moment.
I like who I am, around him. Even when I'm who I don't like, he encourages me not to hate myself. He likes me best when I'm happy and whole, but doesn't hate me when I'm not, and, most key, doesn't fear me when I'm not.
Even when I'm happiest, with most people, there's still that little bit of me that realizes that I'm blending in, putting on protective coloration, still seeking to become someone who will be accepted.
With him, I don't need to; he takes me as I am, and makes me see who I want to be.
*shy eep*
Auntie Krizu(:>)
Re: *shy eep*
I get this rather a lot.