Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-24 07:25 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-24 07:25 am
Heh. (Mental alchemy, Darkside)
...I'm reading these books because m'love suggested them to me. I'm reading them because I want to understand him better. I'm reading them because I see him, or influences that led to how he built himself, wound all through them.
He wants people to see him as powerful, intimidating, if they don't just look past him. Look-past is his first line of defense. Those who don't see other than the surface see only that, or rather don't see.
Second line: intimidating, fearsome, angry, powerful, strong, prickly, sarcastic, caustic, and indifferent to the emotions of others. (Also, 6'3" or so, in some cases.)
My dear hermit crab.
I could arguably say that I have met the same Darkside that his parents see. More than that, I may have met the Darkside that he ideally wishes to be...
...Is that a good match, when you bring out their own ideal of themself, and they bring out yours? I am reminded of the fanfic that included a most ingenious solution to take care of the Dementors: set them upon each other, the stronger kissing away the life of the weaker and absorbing it; when the two last, strongest Dementors embraced, they were trapped in a mobius kiss for all time, gradually sucking the darkness out of each other, becoming shining, beautiful beings. [If anyone recognizes which fic this is, toss me the link again? Don't remember which fic it was, because the idea was so striking, and so unrelated to the rest of it all.]
Even if I am not lovely in his eyes, I am funny, and kind, and the right kind of crazy to, as unlikely as it is, love him. And in my eyes, he is gentle and handsome and thoughtful and courteous and hilarious... even though he annoys![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marxdarx on occasion, even though others may find him obnoxious, too loud, overbearing... those things aren't the him that I see.
I'm a chameleon, but for him, I am not inspired to change my skin, as he can see through my skin. (Most people wear masks. I am the mask.) For him, as the person I become on the outside resonates through me as ME, I change inside too, and delight in it...
He wants people to see him as powerful, intimidating, if they don't just look past him. Look-past is his first line of defense. Those who don't see other than the surface see only that, or rather don't see.
Second line: intimidating, fearsome, angry, powerful, strong, prickly, sarcastic, caustic, and indifferent to the emotions of others. (Also, 6'3" or so, in some cases.)
My dear hermit crab.
I could arguably say that I have met the same Darkside that his parents see. More than that, I may have met the Darkside that he ideally wishes to be...
...Is that a good match, when you bring out their own ideal of themself, and they bring out yours? I am reminded of the fanfic that included a most ingenious solution to take care of the Dementors: set them upon each other, the stronger kissing away the life of the weaker and absorbing it; when the two last, strongest Dementors embraced, they were trapped in a mobius kiss for all time, gradually sucking the darkness out of each other, becoming shining, beautiful beings. [If anyone recognizes which fic this is, toss me the link again? Don't remember which fic it was, because the idea was so striking, and so unrelated to the rest of it all.]
Even if I am not lovely in his eyes, I am funny, and kind, and the right kind of crazy to, as unlikely as it is, love him. And in my eyes, he is gentle and handsome and thoughtful and courteous and hilarious... even though he annoys
marxdarx on occasion, even though others may find him obnoxious, too loud, overbearing... those things aren't the him that I see. I'm a chameleon, but for him, I am not inspired to change my skin, as he can see through my skin. (Most people wear masks. I am the mask.) For him, as the person I become on the outside resonates through me as ME, I change inside too, and delight in it...