Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-09-24 11:07 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-09-24 11:07 pm
FatherSir vs. the Squirrel in the Blue Truck
Inspired by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tromboneborges mouse
Once, my father found that a cheeky red squirrel had broken its way into his big old blue GMC Suburban and done unspeakable things on the seat, as well as shredding the seatbelts.
Words are insufficient to depict his wrath.
After he calmed down, he set rattraps, but the wily fiend eluded them. More calming down was necessary.
The little scamp had chewed a hole in the rubber thing surrounding the bottom of the stickshift, so not only could he get in, but the exhaust fumes from under the truck could make their way into the cabin as well. FatherSir stuffed a bandanna in the hole, quite irritated.
Eventually, he hit upon a diabolical plan to murder the fiend.
We all know the hazards of carbon monoxide gas, correct? One carbon, one oxygen, colorless, odorless, binds to the blood and makes it impossible for the blood to transport oxygen around the body as it should. Contained in many by-products of combustion, including and especially exhaust.
So FatherSir took his chainsaw, started it up idling, put it in the back of the Blue Truck (which was parked, as always, outside), and closed it up and left it there to do its work.
After quite some time, he came back and opened the truck back up again and let it air out. The squirrel had come home, curled up, and died on one of the seats. He tossed it out and cleaned up the truck.
Moral of the story: squirrels shouldn't ever want to mess with my father.
tromboneborges mouseOnce, my father found that a cheeky red squirrel had broken its way into his big old blue GMC Suburban and done unspeakable things on the seat, as well as shredding the seatbelts.
Words are insufficient to depict his wrath.
After he calmed down, he set rattraps, but the wily fiend eluded them. More calming down was necessary.
The little scamp had chewed a hole in the rubber thing surrounding the bottom of the stickshift, so not only could he get in, but the exhaust fumes from under the truck could make their way into the cabin as well. FatherSir stuffed a bandanna in the hole, quite irritated.
Eventually, he hit upon a diabolical plan to murder the fiend.
We all know the hazards of carbon monoxide gas, correct? One carbon, one oxygen, colorless, odorless, binds to the blood and makes it impossible for the blood to transport oxygen around the body as it should. Contained in many by-products of combustion, including and especially exhaust.
So FatherSir took his chainsaw, started it up idling, put it in the back of the Blue Truck (which was parked, as always, outside), and closed it up and left it there to do its work.
After quite some time, he came back and opened the truck back up again and let it air out. The squirrel had come home, curled up, and died on one of the seats. He tossed it out and cleaned up the truck.
Moral of the story: squirrels shouldn't ever want to mess with my father.
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Kiri :D
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