Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-11-07 09:23 am
azurelunatic) wrote2001-11-07 09:23 am
I was always doomed to be the sort you'd marry.
I've managed to avoid that fate so far. I don't want it to be a trap like it almost was last time.
...The one I wanted in high school would never touch me that way, like I was the sort of girl you sleep with. Not until I did something highly unethical. ...I still remember the way he looked at me though...
...He finally did make it the sort of friendship where we went off into dark corners and things happened. It was one day in January, January of 1998...
...the fire stairs of the basement of the college English department building...
...we didn't have sex...it was too cold and the condom was awkward... and he missed the bus the day after and didn't come to school...
...but the day after that, when we first saw each other after hugging goodbye on campus when my mom came to take me home after that afternoon, ...I think it was a Thursday? that morning, as I was through with my class ... Electronics? who knows... ...sun rising just barely turning the snow pink and gold on the football field, a true Alaska January day... our faces lit up when we saw each other, and he flung his arms around me, black trench coat wrapped around me, smell of coffee and car exhaust deep in the wool... my hat flew off with the force of his embrace.
"Looks like you're losing a little head there, Joan," our friend Rocki said.
...that moment was magic.
...The one I wanted in high school would never touch me that way, like I was the sort of girl you sleep with. Not until I did something highly unethical. ...I still remember the way he looked at me though...
...He finally did make it the sort of friendship where we went off into dark corners and things happened. It was one day in January, January of 1998...
...the fire stairs of the basement of the college English department building...
...we didn't have sex...it was too cold and the condom was awkward... and he missed the bus the day after and didn't come to school...
...but the day after that, when we first saw each other after hugging goodbye on campus when my mom came to take me home after that afternoon, ...I think it was a Thursday? that morning, as I was through with my class ... Electronics? who knows... ...sun rising just barely turning the snow pink and gold on the football field, a true Alaska January day... our faces lit up when we saw each other, and he flung his arms around me, black trench coat wrapped around me, smell of coffee and car exhaust deep in the wool... my hat flew off with the force of his embrace.
"Looks like you're losing a little head there, Joan," our friend Rocki said.
...that moment was magic.