Date or not?

[azurelunatic]

I was dressed nicely.
He was dressed decently, but not spiffily.
I was wearing makeup.
While he'd shaved, it wasn't freshly on purpose for the occasion.
He told me that I hadn't needed to dress up.
I bought the movie tickets.
He bought lunch.
He could have talked my ear off, had my ear been capable of falling off.
We sat next to each other.
When we sat down, the armrest was folded back. There was some teasing with it, then he folded it down.
No hand holding.
No sit-on-the-edge-of-your-chair "eew, cooties" style.
When he crossed his legs, he crossed his leg away from me.
I had to ask for a hug.
He made the crowbar joke.

That all adds up, to me, as "not a date".

Comments

[nilodlien.livejournal.com]

*sigh* No, it wasn't a date. And I don't even know about the crowbar joke. But if one has to ask for a hug, I don't even know what that is - but perhaps I'm not objective - I hug everyone.

[azurelunatic]

He's a non-huggy person. The fact that I will ask for a hug demonstrates how I've adjusted to his personal space, and the fact that he'll allow me to hug him says a lot for how he's adjusted to me.

[juuro.livejournal.com]

Without any weighing of factors except by my personal categorization into +/0/- classes, I find a very slight positive indication. Difference is so slight, however, that weighing has the possibility to change the result muchly.

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

My new approach to dating is to ALWAYS assume it isn't a date unless the guy actually says it's a date. Also, I assume a guy doesn't actually like me unless he says so, because even if he did sleep with me, the next morning he said he didn't want a relationship... *kicks walls, kicks self for being so stupid, cries*

[azurelunatic]

Raaagh. Sucks.

[azurelunatic]

And there are probably the things I didn't mention, either. Like him ghosting around waiting for me while I was standing in line, after I'd told him that there was no need for both of us to wait, and he could go ahead and grab himself some lunch.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

Ahhh... somehow missed this post. Am Caught Up (mostly) on the State of the Azz.

Again I state that, IMHO, his behavior indicates that he was NOT on a date. Yours indicates that you were _________ it was a date.




(however you choose to fill in that blank might give you an indication of the disparity that was).

[azurelunatic]

hoping/wishing works well.

Is it wrong...

[grifyn.livejournal.com]

...that I'm dying to know what the "crowbar" joke WAS?

Re: Is it wrong...

[azurelunatic]

Nope, not wrong.

It goes like so:

I hug him.
"Could somebody get me a crowbar?" or "Where's that crowbar?"

It's an injoke gone badly mutant, implying that it takes a crowbar to get me off of him, and further that since he's asking for a crowbar, that I've gone over the line.

Since in the past I have been way too huggy with him for his comfort, and he put up with it well, considering...

...when I ask him if I may hug him, and then he asks for a crowbar?

Re: Is it wrong...

[grifyn.livejournal.com]

Well. He screwed that up.

My second thought was that maybe the public display of affection just made him a little uncomfortable, so he cracked the joke...

If it were me, I would simply just not make the physical overture for a while. In fact, I would be cool and distant and stockpile a bunch of anger that would culminate in small fires set around the house. But you are not me. You'll know the best way to deal with it. My kneejerk reaction would be "if that's the way you feel about it" and a long silence.

Re: Is it wrong...

[azurelunatic]

I haven't SEEN him to make the physical overture since Halloween, and I likely won't see him again until June.

And anyway, it was, "May I please have a hug?" standing at a good distance (more than our usual social distance) away.