LotR Humor (Fwd) (no actual spoilers)

[azurelunatic]

To forestall the inevitable chapter-and-verse Tolkien geeks picking apart everything and squabbling about every deviation from sacred text, here are:

From the Home Office in Rivendell:

THE TOP TEN CHANGES PETER JACKSON MADE TO J.R.R. TOLKIEN'S *LORD OF THE RINGS*:

10. The One Ring is carried into Mordor on Frodo's left nipple.

9. The Council of Elrond is hosted by Geraldo and falls apart when people start throwing chairs.

8. Aragorn challenges Steward Denethor to a beer-chugging contest for rule of Minas Tirith.

7. Boromir killed in crossfire of senseless gang shootout between the Elves and the Dwarves.

6. The Elf maiden Arwen Undomiel now has a big-bootied sister played by Jennifer Lopez.

5. Instead of Elvish poetry, characters recite Doors lyrics.

4. The Riders of Rohan are an ass-kickin' motorcycle club

3. Merry and Pippin? Gay.

2. Hilarious sequence where Gandalf reads map of Middle-Earth upside-down and the Fellowship spends three weeks trying to find the legendary land of Rodrom.

1. Sauron hires Johnny Cochrane; walks out of the courtroom a free Dark Lord

Oy. Though about #3...

Comments

[pyrogenic.livejournal.com]

But the Riders of Rohan are an ass-kickin' motorcycle club! Can't you just see Theoden and Éowyn on a Harley?

[azurelunatic]

Y'know, I think you're right.


...my mind just went somewhere very odd. It wanted to take Lord of the Rings and do unto it what was done unto Romeo & Juliet to make West Side Story.

[pyrogenic.livejournal.com]

That sounds like an excellent project... So Rohan -> motorcycle gang. Maybe the hobbits could be a group of carnies? I like the idea but I'm not eeling very creative. I'll think on it more later.

[azurelunatic]

Hmm. Elves. Elves in leather?