Spiritual wanderings about very early this morning

[azurelunatic]

Last night I took a nap starting around eight, and wound up sleeping until Dawn called sometime after ten. I woke up, and stayed up until way, way late/early.

I couldn't sleep, even after lying down in bed. I jiggled. I tried to relax. Then I said, "Duh!" to myself, and broke out with the usual spiritual relaxation issues.

I found that a golden shell of stubbornness had formed about me, and it fractured nicely, like the kind of safety glass that has a film on it so it'll all stay together. Busting through it was no problem. I was evidently strong. So I did that, and then let in everything holy.

I noticed it flowing through me, and also noticed that there was a fair bit of junk to be gotten rid of. So I held up the first bits, and then started naming off things that I'd rather be rid of: my desires to harm myself, my unwarranted crankiness... the list went on and on, until I felt I was running out of items. I picked up my love for Darkside, then, and requested that the unhealthy attachments be removed, but the love remain, as I've learned that mucking with the love and the reasons for the love causes a cascade of very bad mental things to happen.

So, we'll see what happens.

Comments

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you, dear. *hugs*

[azurelunatic]

Thanks.

[tyrantmouth.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely thing, that letting go bit-by-bit, with examination. It's very freeing. I hope it helps.

[azurelunatic]

It has already.