Notes for the Geek Housekeeping thing (shower time inspirations)

[azurelunatic]

theferrett already wrote the book on LAN parties.
What's your cleaning style, background or batch job?
What to have redundancies on and where you can skimp.
Cable ties, proper use of. The Xmas ornament hanger & push-pin way to a trip-free floor. How much cable to get and why.
Snack foods at the computer: crumby, drippy, bite sized, and big. Which is neatest! (Quizzie: rate your snack?)
Liquids near the computer: safeguarding, spillproofing, emergency recovery.
Adapting common household tips for the geek attention span.
Get your ass out the door in the morning for work! Timing your morning routine, alarm clocks, on-task triggers, preparation, shortcuts, redundancies
Stay-At-Home Geek? Beating boredom, honing house-fu.
Targeted Cleanup Tips: co-workers, dates, buddies, parents, and kids.
How to kid-proof your geek digs, with sections especially for babies, toddlers, pre-schoolers, barely-rational, elementary, and teen.
Emergency de-geekification: what makes your pad look geeky, and how to conceal it if you really want to (but why would you?)
Intensive Subject Geeking (product and process reviews): get experts to do this! People who totally care!
Preserving your comic collection (ack, help)
Cord strain & other commonly prevented mechanical failures
Before & after photos for some common household tasks, with time estimates for various levels of de-crudifying.
Identifying most-crucial household tasks.
Getting the lingering stench of burned electronics out of your home.
When to in-source and when to out-source: cleaning, cooking, repairs
Care & feeding of Roomba? & other maintaining-stuff tricks
Must-have gadgets: linkification to shops with same, product reviews of the things we've tried, links to other product reviews, price comparisons?
Decoration! Cozy up the place with artwork, plants, lighting, furniture, and all the comforts of home!
Simulation: measure twice, cut once; measure beforehand, move once. How tacky will that really look? Plan your dream home/garden/holiday light display from the comfort of your computer!
The inaccessible garbage can and other ergonomic mistakes.
Disaster preparedness! Link to makinglight as appropriate! Shamelessly snarf links from all over! Locate your area's hazards with links to niftykeen websites like the Alaska Volcano Observatory, that one California wildfires website, etc.
Obligatory Link to the Geek Social Fallacies thinger. Just on general principle.
Dating & Mating. OKCupid & showers. With soap. Is there such thing as the geek kama sutra? Where the hell did the Star Wars walker kama sutra get to? Stinkitude Quiz. (stinkitude???) Links to Grooming 101 sites for males, females, general, interview, and courtship. Pr0n. (Kittenhate link?) Balance family-friendly with Genuine Geek Interest. Nerd Porn Auteur a must. Sex 101 link a must. Savage Love? Why that poster with the scantily-clad anime chick might be tacky and that completely-nude (but for some well-placed weaponry) photo of Claudia Christian, the one in the nice frame, is actually of some artistic merit. (Speaking of which, does anyone know where I can find that one? Shawn had it a million years ago and it was really tasty.)
Non-Technical Family & Friends. The "No, Dad, I will not do tech support on your god damn computer" shirt.
Furry- and 'kin-friendly/focused topics. (??? no clue here. Other staff will have to fill in.)

Comments

[elysianmusings.livejournal.com]

Other geeks of course. Get the main site up and pimp it out. Mention that we can take submissions and then look them over thoroughly before acting on anything. Hmm...

I dunno. I'm just pulling things out of my ass. I have infectious brain weasels today.

[azurelunatic]

A standard format for submissions on the site, standard terms (eep, we're publication!), contact format, and general guidelines for things likelier to get accepted.

a) Must be the work of the submitting author(s) (don't plagiarize) and they must have the legal ability to publish it on a website
b) Spelling right == good. Spelling bad == bad. Commonly understood Geek English is acceptable, though over1337ifying the language can get bounced.
c) We reserve the right to edit it before posting.
d) We will post it with credit to you at whatever reasonable contact information you ask for us to give. (Skanky McBritneyzaho is not an acceptable pen name. Even if the editors agree.)
e) We're not handing out cash at this point, but fame and noteriety are awesome things, and should we ever turn a profit off the website the authors are the first ones who are going to feel the love, in whatever format we decide "the love" should take.
f) Should we consider your article for inclusion in an actual published book, we will totally negotiate that separately.