Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-04-25 09:49 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-04-25 09:49 pm
Run, then scream.
My day:
School. Conversation about movies with Darkside. Chat with Bald Guy until the worst of the tears are over. Come back home, grab quasi-lunch stuff, leave to go check out plasma donation place. Come back home in a bit of a grump because they don't have the staff to give all newbies a physical. On the way home, start re-analyzing the implications of what Darkside said. Write up entry; cry some more. Let Adam read entry, because voice is not trustworthy.
Have a chat with Adam on the topic of the inadvisability of changing oneself to fit the standards that one's beloved would prefer in a mate. Explain to him that while certainly there have been some heavy selfchanges going on, it's because the me that I am around Darkside is my favorite of the people I can be, and I'm working to keep this personality at more times than just with him. The person I am around him is demonstratably not his idealization of the perfect woman. Were I trying to be that woman, I'd be in some serious shit. But I'm not. I'm trying to be myself, the best, sweetest, spunkiest version of myself I can be.
We snuggled after that discussion. Adam remarked that perhaps Darkside was afraid to do anything more than friendship, because I have many of the same personality-tags as Votania.
There was more discussion, gradually leading into the next topic...
I said something about his talking with V, referring to her attitude as "playing 'Respect you, Respect you not'" ...and then the one-ton featherbed hit him.
She's trying to mold him into her ideal man.
School. Conversation about movies with Darkside. Chat with Bald Guy until the worst of the tears are over. Come back home, grab quasi-lunch stuff, leave to go check out plasma donation place. Come back home in a bit of a grump because they don't have the staff to give all newbies a physical. On the way home, start re-analyzing the implications of what Darkside said. Write up entry; cry some more. Let Adam read entry, because voice is not trustworthy.
Have a chat with Adam on the topic of the inadvisability of changing oneself to fit the standards that one's beloved would prefer in a mate. Explain to him that while certainly there have been some heavy selfchanges going on, it's because the me that I am around Darkside is my favorite of the people I can be, and I'm working to keep this personality at more times than just with him. The person I am around him is demonstratably not his idealization of the perfect woman. Were I trying to be that woman, I'd be in some serious shit. But I'm not. I'm trying to be myself, the best, sweetest, spunkiest version of myself I can be.
We snuggled after that discussion. Adam remarked that perhaps Darkside was afraid to do anything more than friendship, because I have many of the same personality-tags as Votania.
There was more discussion, gradually leading into the next topic...
I said something about his talking with V, referring to her attitude as "playing 'Respect you, Respect you not'" ...and then the one-ton featherbed hit him.
She's trying to mold him into her ideal man.