azurelunatic | Fwd: Mr. P's interoffice memos

To: Administration
From: The Penis
Subject: Mr. P

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depth.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends off or public holidays.

I work in damp environment

I don't get paid overtime

I work in dark workplace that has poor ventilation

I work in high temperatures

My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Thank you for considering my request.

The Penis

To: The Penis
From: Administration
Re: your request

Dear Mr. Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the argument you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

You do not always follow orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear.

It's doubtful you'll work until the normal retirement age of 65.

You're unable to work double shifts

You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.

And if that were not all, you have been seen, constantly entering and leaving the workplace, carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

The Administration

Fwd: Mr. P's interoffice memos

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