Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-01 12:47 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-01 12:47 am
Amateur Shrink Night
If you take someone prone by nature to aggression, and expose them to an aggressive parent who might qualify as abusive in some situations, but teach the kid the value of being nice, and the kid internalizes the value of being nice -- sometimes that person will recognize their own potential for just as much violence as the abuser.
As those internal values place the violence as a Bad Thing, the subject trains their anger upon the anger itself, angry at themselves for being able to feel this way. The subject is not able to rip the anger out of themselves; the subject feels guilt, like not a worthy and good person, as they still have this violence, this anger, built up inside them, that they cannot get rid of, that occasionally explodes.
Self-loathing and depression ensue; there is a willingness to believe negative things said about one, because one has the potential to be such a bad person; the potential to be a bad person is an integral part of their nature.
As those internal values place the violence as a Bad Thing, the subject trains their anger upon the anger itself, angry at themselves for being able to feel this way. The subject is not able to rip the anger out of themselves; the subject feels guilt, like not a worthy and good person, as they still have this violence, this anger, built up inside them, that they cannot get rid of, that occasionally explodes.
Self-loathing and depression ensue; there is a willingness to believe negative things said about one, because one has the potential to be such a bad person; the potential to be a bad person is an integral part of their nature.