Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-08 06:24 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-08 06:24 pm
Romance Novels are like sleeping pills
Occasionally, a romance novel (a book that exists solely to tell the story of a romantic relationship, with very little underlying meaning besides that) is refreshing to the mind. Used often, they are a dangerous habit.
The typical romance novel is badly or implausibly plotted, with weak characterization, and just plain damn bad writing.
Castles and islands and accidental swappings of kids at the hospital at birth, oh my! This is escape literature, after all, but good gods! is it necessary to make it that smegging obvious?
It is unlikely in the extreme that most men are a handsome prince in disguise, a true gentleman lurking behind the mask of a supposed complete arse, or even likely to change from their wicked ways: these are all common devices to explain why this gem has not been snapped up before.
Other than the sensitive side of rugged men being unexpectedly revealed, or the romantic side of previously cold ladies being uncovered, there is little character development. All of the character development generally leads straight to romance, without many of the little sidesteps that life usually winds up with.
Your typical mass-market romance has the writing style of an exceptionally talented sixth-grader, with clumsy and/or incomplete phrasing, grammar skills a freshman level college teacher would cringe at, and vocabulary suited to the lowest-common-denominator of reader, who does not care to have (usually) her happy read interrupted by the need to dive for a dictionary she probably doesn't own.
When I read a book for a romance, I expect to have a storyline, a situation that the characters must work through, a situation that would be sufficiently a problem to solve without the romance tagging along, and the problem must not be completely soluble by the successful management of the romance. I expect the characters to be three-dimensional ones that I can care about without effort on my part, or at least throw a good healthy dislike at. I would like to occasionally thow my head back and giggle in delight at a particularly smooth bit of phrasing, but I expect that my attention will not be distracted by the poor quality of the writing.
If the quality of writing that someone gets accustomed to is the mass-market romance, I despair for their sanity and writing skills. Any given person's writing adjusts to accomodate the vocabulary and style in their primary influences and surroundings. I should not like to have my writings pruned back to the style and content of my sixth grade journals. Writing is meant to grow and develop.
I do occasionally read select "romance" novels. The writing of "Amanda Quick" (Jayne Ann Krentz) is good, though her female lead is the exact same spunky character each time around, with different features put on the generic prefab three-dimensional character. Those books get boring after a while. Lois McMaster Bujold's A Civil Campaign is excellent. The classic Sense and Sensibility is one of my all-time favorites.
I avoid the mass-market pink-covered romance novels, mainly notable for "a romance", softcore porn, or occasionally hardcore porn. If I want smut, I'll stick to fanfic, thanks, because I can find some with good characterization, a plot, and better sex -- absolutely free online!
The typical romance novel is badly or implausibly plotted, with weak characterization, and just plain damn bad writing.
Castles and islands and accidental swappings of kids at the hospital at birth, oh my! This is escape literature, after all, but good gods! is it necessary to make it that smegging obvious?
It is unlikely in the extreme that most men are a handsome prince in disguise, a true gentleman lurking behind the mask of a supposed complete arse, or even likely to change from their wicked ways: these are all common devices to explain why this gem has not been snapped up before.
Other than the sensitive side of rugged men being unexpectedly revealed, or the romantic side of previously cold ladies being uncovered, there is little character development. All of the character development generally leads straight to romance, without many of the little sidesteps that life usually winds up with.
Your typical mass-market romance has the writing style of an exceptionally talented sixth-grader, with clumsy and/or incomplete phrasing, grammar skills a freshman level college teacher would cringe at, and vocabulary suited to the lowest-common-denominator of reader, who does not care to have (usually) her happy read interrupted by the need to dive for a dictionary she probably doesn't own.
When I read a book for a romance, I expect to have a storyline, a situation that the characters must work through, a situation that would be sufficiently a problem to solve without the romance tagging along, and the problem must not be completely soluble by the successful management of the romance. I expect the characters to be three-dimensional ones that I can care about without effort on my part, or at least throw a good healthy dislike at. I would like to occasionally thow my head back and giggle in delight at a particularly smooth bit of phrasing, but I expect that my attention will not be distracted by the poor quality of the writing.
If the quality of writing that someone gets accustomed to is the mass-market romance, I despair for their sanity and writing skills. Any given person's writing adjusts to accomodate the vocabulary and style in their primary influences and surroundings. I should not like to have my writings pruned back to the style and content of my sixth grade journals. Writing is meant to grow and develop.
I do occasionally read select "romance" novels. The writing of "Amanda Quick" (Jayne Ann Krentz) is good, though her female lead is the exact same spunky character each time around, with different features put on the generic prefab three-dimensional character. Those books get boring after a while. Lois McMaster Bujold's A Civil Campaign is excellent. The classic Sense and Sensibility is one of my all-time favorites.
I avoid the mass-market pink-covered romance novels, mainly notable for "a romance", softcore porn, or occasionally hardcore porn. If I want smut, I'll stick to fanfic, thanks, because I can find some with good characterization, a plot, and better sex -- absolutely free online!
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My novel has a major nod to Bujold in one place, where the Engineering teacher has named his oscilliscopes. The names include Patricia and Lois. I need to get a working machine with both zip drive and MS Word at home.
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Other than the improbability, the books are quite fun, especially if you're into headgames porn. I haven't read the new one yet, but the first four were definitely not like Jackie Collins or the Sweet Valley juvie romance novels. Actually worth reading.
(Have you stopped laughing yet?)
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hehe.
...I'm going to personal-lock it beyond certain scraps of working code, I think, but
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...I intend to write him as the hero of a romance at some point. The scruffy, loner computer nerd/gamergeek variety. The sort who's standoffish and lonely and triggers most people's ugly filters just because of attitude. And lack of shaving.
...Though he does clean up very well...
'Ni and scanner need to have a few words with each other, I believe...
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b) If he can grow a beard, several weeks of stubble makes a decent one which only needs to be shaved every week or two. Cuts down on the "scruffy" without adding work.
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b) He actually beards within the week, so after the first few days after he shaves, it looks respectable. Without the beard, especially with the hair he's regaining, he's classic bishounen.
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Re:
This one.
Ahhh, crosslinking.
Re: This one.
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Eeek!
Re: Eeek!
That other one sounds like something my little brother would saw. Garararrgh. HULK SMASH.
Err.
Pardon.
Re: Eeek!
Re: Eeek!
But it he's anything like my younger brother, I'm -so- happy you didn't marry him.
I should tell the story of the little bastard sometime. It's a story of sex, drugs, and more drugs, 'cuz he's too busy doing drugs to do any rock & roll.
Feh. I love my family.
Siblings
BJ is just a general pain in the ass. He's the one who got disinvited from a police station for being an ass.