Fwd: Military Reviews

[azurelunatic]

ACTUAL LINES OUT OF U.S. MILITARY OERS (OFFICER EFFICIENCY REPORT):

• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


• Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.


• A room temperature IQ.


• Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.


• A prime candidate for natural deselection.


• Bright as Alaska in December.


• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.


• So dense, light bends around him.


• If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.


• If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.


• Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.


• Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM ROYAL NAVY AND MARINES OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS:

• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.


• I would not breed from this officer.


• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.


• He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.


• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.


• This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.


• Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig...


• She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.


• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.


• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.


• This man is depriving some poor village of its idiot.