IDK. Does grooming generally make people feel happy and pampered and special? I feel happy and special and pampered when I go to a spa, get my nails done, have my hair done at a salon (which I can rarely afford because of how often it needs to be done) or take a long relaxing bath.
That doesn't mean I feel I'm hurting myself when I have to take a rushed shower at 5 AM or swearing because I got hair dye all over the wall again. If I could afford to pay to be pampered all the time, I so would, but I'm not going to go grey because I can't afford the salon or smell because I don't have time for a bath before work.
But I don't feel that I've internalised anyone else's norms because I do tedious things to improve my appearance on account of not being wealthy enough to pay someone else. I enjoy presenting myself in an artistic fashion very much, so just as I tolerate workouts in order to be a good dancer and vocabulary drills to build language skills, I do things that enable me to make that happen. I wouldn't want you to rageface about that, though of course I can't control that.
What makes me rageface is that people are treated badly, or just ignored, because they choose to present in a non-standard way or not to present at all.
At the same time...one of the things that I think goes into all this is how neurotypical you are and what senses are the most sensitive.
I can't stand getting the seam of a pair of socks under my toes, tuneless humming, the noise some fluorescent lights make that hardly anyone else hears...and badly matched colours.
I sometimes experience non-insignificant discomfort when I look at things that are the visual equivalent of someone who can't carry a tune trying to sing. :( Yellow walls actually make my eyes sting; I can only stand to look at yellow if it's harmonised with other colours. I sometimes have the same feeling looking at loose threads on clothing, or blacks and/or whites that don't quite match up, that I do when I see a painting hung askew.
You are actually fairly decent at matching or at least harmonising your blacks, largely because you have an innate colour sense that I value and trust--sometimes I am overwhelmed by my mad love of a beautiful colour to the point where I don't really notice how much it doesn't suit me until I try to WEAR it, at which point it's already bought and paid for and I may have lost all the tags. Sometimes I lust after colours, especially bright, clear, pale or jewel-like colours. I love them. I want them. I want to own them. But I should never wear them because I will hurt my brain if I do when I look at myself in a mirror!
I try to keep it to myself because it's really not my place to tell people how they should dress unless I am throwing a formal event, but if somebody asks me what I think I'm going to tell them. But there are times when the desire to fix someone else's outfit is just maddening because I can't look at them or I get static in my head. And I feel a little like that when my hair is black shading to brown and grey and my face is blotchy and red and even if my clothes match each other I can't get anything to match or harmonise with me. I really don't think that's societal programming.
no subject
That doesn't mean I feel I'm hurting myself when I have to take a rushed shower at 5 AM or swearing because I got hair dye all over the wall again. If I could afford to pay to be pampered all the time, I so would, but I'm not going to go grey because I can't afford the salon or smell because I don't have time for a bath before work.
But I don't feel that I've internalised anyone else's norms because I do tedious things to improve my appearance on account of not being wealthy enough to pay someone else. I enjoy presenting myself in an artistic fashion very much, so just as I tolerate workouts in order to be a good dancer and vocabulary drills to build language skills, I do things that enable me to make that happen. I wouldn't want you to rageface about that, though of course I can't control that.
What makes me rageface is that people are treated badly, or just ignored, because they choose to present in a non-standard way or not to present at all.
At the same time...one of the things that I think goes into all this is how neurotypical you are and what senses are the most sensitive.
I can't stand getting the seam of a pair of socks under my toes, tuneless humming, the noise some fluorescent lights make that hardly anyone else hears...and badly matched colours.
I sometimes experience non-insignificant discomfort when I look at things that are the visual equivalent of someone who can't carry a tune trying to sing. :( Yellow walls actually make my eyes sting; I can only stand to look at yellow if it's harmonised with other colours. I sometimes have the same feeling looking at loose threads on clothing, or blacks and/or whites that don't quite match up, that I do when I see a painting hung askew.
You are actually fairly decent at matching or at least harmonising your blacks, largely because you have an innate colour sense that I value and trust--sometimes I am overwhelmed by my mad love of a beautiful colour to the point where I don't really notice how much it doesn't suit me until I try to WEAR it, at which point it's already bought and paid for and I may have lost all the tags. Sometimes I lust after colours, especially bright, clear, pale or jewel-like colours. I love them. I want them. I want to own them. But I should never wear them because I will hurt my brain if I do when I look at myself in a mirror!
I try to keep it to myself because it's really not my place to tell people how they should dress unless I am throwing a formal event, but if somebody asks me what I think I'm going to tell them. But there are times when the desire to fix someone else's outfit is just maddening because I can't look at them or I get static in my head. And I feel a little like that when my hair is black shading to brown and grey and my face is blotchy and red and even if my clothes match each other I can't get anything to match or harmonise with me. I really don't think that's societal programming.