azurelunatic: stick figure about to hit potato w/ flaming tennis racket, near jug of gasoline & sack of potatoes (bad idea)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2012-09-28 01:33 am

Adventures in Event Planning: things I should not propose as swag

There's an event coming up at work, one that will involve swag. My Overlady holds the budget and will be doing final sign-off on whatever we decide on.

We've been bouncing ideas off each other for a while. I've made a few helpful suggestions, and a few, well.

Ideas of mine that have been turned down:

  • friendship bracelets (though my Overlady might bring up this idea with my grandmanager when he's drinking coffee to see if he snarfs it out his nose)

  • Catapults

  • Trebuchets

  • marshmallow guns

  • Any projectile toy

  • Vuvuzelas

  • ... any noisemaker

  • those little pop-and-jump widgets, which are both noisy and projectiles


So a large part of today was attempting to track down a source for some swag, and gathering ideas out of the vast catalogs of small things upon which people can print your company logo. I got some amazing ideas.

Ideas which should wait for the opportune moment before I pitch them to my Overlady:

  • improbably shaped stress balls

  • Cowbell (small)

  • more cowbell (medium and large: also available)

  • 3,000 (minimum order) velcro cable ties (this is an event of under 100 people, and the company logo has changed before on us)

  • kazoos

  • lighters


Lighters.

As I said on Twitter: promotional lighters send the message: "We think you will have problems at this conference that can be solved with fire."

Twitter wanted to know if there were any problems that could not be solved with fire. Oh, Twitter. ♥

I could think of two examples offhand. This thing is on fire and should not be on fire: this usually cannot be solved by adding more fire. (I say usually, because in certain situations, setting another fire going in a direction that is going to collide with the first fire will burn up everything in the first fire's path before it can get there, thus depriving it of fuel (in theory) when the two meet.) Perhaps someone does not like a co-worker: this is a problem that could be solved with fire, but should not be.

Even at the sort of concert where people hold up lighters, giving away free lighters with a non-discerning hand is likely to put fire in the hands of people who perhaps should not be given fire in a situation where they did not expect to have fire, and are thus inspired to become creative about it. Fire and possibly-stoned creativity are two things that just do not mix well.

Either way, a professional conference in the computer industry? Not actually likely to contain problems that can or should be solved by applying fire.

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