I've been thinking about your comment since I woke up an hour and a half
ago. I so don't want to give the idea that Back Then Was Better, and
Just Leave It To Beaver.
I don't know that I would want to characterize there to be a morality
about losing the touchstones. I would, however, posit that it has thrown
a gigantic wrench into the collective works of society, and caused a lot
of heartbreak, pain, and frustration due to the disconnection of the
easier ability to communicate.
Of course this does not mean that the way things were was good, or
particularly superly desirable. Or didn't cause its own pain to many
people. That, it did. And how.
But, as one guy I know says, it is what it is. The past is a country we
can't visit and aren't always sure we want to. So where do we go from here?
I know a woman who, with her husband, is raising 3 kids in a really
earnest and intentional way: these kids are getting a really cared for
raising. And as part of what they think is important is that the little
boys learn to open doors for their sister & other women. This is because
this something that the parents believe is very respectful to women;
this action is representative of that belief. I believe that opening
doors for women is seen as quite chauvinist and insulting in some
circles[1]. This is reflective of a huge tension, in my opinion.
In one sense, we're all in the same society. Our actions can ripple out
to touch each other, we meet a variety of people every day. We need to
be able to get along with each other in public. How do these boys grow
up to not offend the women that are angered by having the door held open?
But in another sense, society is shifting into location based subgroups:
SF's society is not Evangelical society, which is not Mormon society,
which is not hippie homesteader society. And I think these subgroup's
clustering is actually deblending us. See [2] for more actual research..
I can't say it's not true to an extent: everyone I've talked to about
it agrees that you want to live where your people are (big shock, right?
:D). K and I are "mid-size town with a heavy hippie/liberal element
people", and the places we want to move to are those, not... not-those.
So do we want the big blend or the big salad? How do we interface with
others in ways that aren't fraught with anger and frustration? And it's
going to be so hard getting there from here.
[1] In my opinion, people can open their own doors unless they can't, in
which case hold it open for them.
[2] http://www.thebigsort.com/home.php
no subject
I've been thinking about your comment since I woke up an hour and a half ago. I so don't want to give the idea that Back Then Was Better, and Just Leave It To Beaver.
I don't know that I would want to characterize there to be a morality about losing the touchstones. I would, however, posit that it has thrown a gigantic wrench into the collective works of society, and caused a lot of heartbreak, pain, and frustration due to the disconnection of the easier ability to communicate.
Of course this does not mean that the way things were was good, or particularly superly desirable. Or didn't cause its own pain to many people. That, it did. And how.
But, as one guy I know says, it is what it is. The past is a country we can't visit and aren't always sure we want to. So where do we go from here?
I know a woman who, with her husband, is raising 3 kids in a really earnest and intentional way: these kids are getting a really cared for raising. And as part of what they think is important is that the little boys learn to open doors for their sister & other women. This is because this something that the parents believe is very respectful to women; this action is representative of that belief. I believe that opening doors for women is seen as quite chauvinist and insulting in some circles[1]. This is reflective of a huge tension, in my opinion.
In one sense, we're all in the same society. Our actions can ripple out to touch each other, we meet a variety of people every day. We need to be able to get along with each other in public. How do these boys grow up to not offend the women that are angered by having the door held open?
But in another sense, society is shifting into location based subgroups: SF's society is not Evangelical society, which is not Mormon society, which is not hippie homesteader society. And I think these subgroup's clustering is actually deblending us. See [2] for more actual research.. I can't say it's not true to an extent: everyone I've talked to about it agrees that you want to live where your people are (big shock, right? :D). K and I are "mid-size town with a heavy hippie/liberal element people", and the places we want to move to are those, not... not-those.
So do we want the big blend or the big salad? How do we interface with others in ways that aren't fraught with anger and frustration? And it's going to be so hard getting there from here.
[1] In my opinion, people can open their own doors unless they can't, in which case hold it open for them. [2] http://www.thebigsort.com/home.php