Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-09-24 01:48 am
azurelunatic) wrote2013-09-24 01:48 am
The straightforward menace of the letter of complaint: some musings
It's amazing how a few simple tweaks can transform a letter of complaint about a customer service problem. This apropos of discussion on IRC earlier.
Dear customer service manager,
On $DATE, [the following shenanigans occurred]. [This is what should have happened.] [These are my suggestions for making sure it doesn't happen again.] Please ensure that this does not happen [again/to another customer].
Sincerely,
[you]
To the attention of the customer service manager:
On $DATE, [the following shenanigans occurred]. [This is what should have happened.] [These are my suggestions for making sure it doesn't happen again.] Please ensure that this does not happen [again/to another customer].
With utmost sincerity,
[full formal form of address as far as those assclowns are concerned]
I feel that it's the "with utmost sincerity" that tips the balance. It can be considered basically the same as "sincerely", at least by those who aren't aware that the full form of the traditional "sincerely" is "sincerely yours".
Somehow, "with utmost sincerity" carries the implication that if somehow they had got the impression in the letter that you were fucking around about how entirely cheesed off you were, that they should re-evaluate their position in regards to how much you maybe would like to reconsider your general stance on physical mayhem.
Although if any part of the body of the letter implied that you were going to come down there in person and make a criminally liable nuisance of yourself, that signature might entirely possibly transform it from sound and fury, signifying nothing, to an actual viable threat in writing or printing or electrons or something, and -- just going out on a limb here -- perhaps that is a category of complication that perhaps you do not actually want to venture into.
But I do enjoy a nice aura of calculated electronic menace.
Dear customer service manager,
On $DATE, [the following shenanigans occurred]. [This is what should have happened.] [These are my suggestions for making sure it doesn't happen again.] Please ensure that this does not happen [again/to another customer].
Sincerely,
[you]
To the attention of the customer service manager:
On $DATE, [the following shenanigans occurred]. [This is what should have happened.] [These are my suggestions for making sure it doesn't happen again.] Please ensure that this does not happen [again/to another customer].
With utmost sincerity,
[full formal form of address as far as those assclowns are concerned]
I feel that it's the "with utmost sincerity" that tips the balance. It can be considered basically the same as "sincerely", at least by those who aren't aware that the full form of the traditional "sincerely" is "sincerely yours".
Somehow, "with utmost sincerity" carries the implication that if somehow they had got the impression in the letter that you were fucking around about how entirely cheesed off you were, that they should re-evaluate their position in regards to how much you maybe would like to reconsider your general stance on physical mayhem.
Although if any part of the body of the letter implied that you were going to come down there in person and make a criminally liable nuisance of yourself, that signature might entirely possibly transform it from sound and fury, signifying nothing, to an actual viable threat in writing or printing or electrons or something, and -- just going out on a limb here -- perhaps that is a category of complication that perhaps you do not actually want to venture into.
But I do enjoy a nice aura of calculated electronic menace.
no subject
no subject
It contained a reference to fucking a dead badger. I wasn't best pleased with them at the time.