azurelunatic: Blue koi, captioned "And the new day was a great big fish."  (great big fish)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote 2014-09-18 09:47 am (UTC)

Not intended for actual deployment

I'm certain he would!

First you take the fish and render it into slurry -- best, of course, if it's the parts of the fish that the fish doesn't want anymore. Then one allows it to age some, perhaps not gracefully. (Telstar may or may not be interested any longer, and Telstar's people will likely have long ago declined.) Then you freeze it, in some sort of brick-shaped mold. If you are adding anchovies (four short, one long, in the shape of a hand) this is the time to add them, before it sets up too solid.

Once completely frozen, one bides one's time, and waits for a long weekend.

The fishbrick is then mailed, at high velocity, from outside the window, well clear of the security cameras. It may then have time to melt in peace.

(Purple and I, Darkside and I, [personal profile] sithjawa and I, and #adventuresofstnono and I have spent perhaps a little more time than is strictly wholesome in fits of giggles about the concept.)


Notebolt was the evil idea of Purple, and was also too evil for him to actually do.

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