Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2016-05-08 02:53 am
azurelunatic) wrote2016-05-08 02:53 am
Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury: video description with lyrics.
So on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me this weekend: "If you're listening to this on a podcast, I want you to pause it, watch the video, and come back." So I did.
The comment at the top of the page at the point I arrived was someone also there via Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, who found the audio hilarious but was blind and therefore unable to see the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG38VcjE770&lc=z134frcp3q2rsrpiu04cervi4liasrtp51s I felt this was a shame.
I also felt that I could do something about that.
(Lyrics via http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Rachel_Bloom:Fuck_Me,_Ray_Bradbury )
A decorative hearts-and-flowers cover star-wipes with a glissando sound effect to what seems to be the bedroom of a teenage girl. Rachel Bloom is flopped on the bed, a book to one side. She wears a thigh-length spaghetti-strap night shirt, pink polka dots with black decorations, with her hair in teenage girl braided pigtails.
She pops to a sitting position, phone in hand.
(singing) Steve called me up and said:
(Steve, a cocky-looking early 20s guy intended to pass for a teenager, wearing a flannel over a t-shirt, slides into the frame on a split-screen.)
(singing) "Wanna hang out tonight?
We could see an indie film or just grab a bite."
Steve nods and looks assured that his date ideas are good.
(singing) I said: "Oh, Steve, you're cute, but a movie's not what I need.
Steve looks very confused.
(spoken) No offence, but I'd rather (singing) stay home and read."
At the word "read," Steve hangs up in disgust.
Rachel picks up the book and uses it to caress her thigh, all the while staring at the camera with a sultry expression.
Diamond wipe to an old-fashioned looking classroom setting. Rachel is now wearing a schoolgirl outfit reminiscent of Britney Spears and stands behind the teacher's desk at the chalkboard, upon which she has written...
(singing) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
She pulls a tri-fold presentation board from behind the desk, with a picture of Ray Bradbury and hand-drawn hearts and the caption:
(singing) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
The classroom is full of desks with other young women in similar schoolgirl outfits seated there. One glances back dubiously at another. A young woman with enormous dark-framed glasses stands by a window, wearing a green sweater with an alligator logo on the left breast, stares at Rachel, avidly taking notes.
Back to Rachel in the front corner of a slightly different classroom with a three-piece rock band.
(singing) Oh Fuck Me,
Cut to another shot of Rachel posing in front of the presentation board and smiling at Ray's picture, then looking back into the camera with an endearing little shrug.
(singing) Ray Bradbury
Cut to a younger Rachel in a home bathroom, brushing her teeth with a light-up green toothbrush.
(singing) Since I was twelve, I've been your number one fan
She turns away to spit out toothpaste, then bobs back up with a book.
(singing) Kiss me, you Illustrated Man.
Cut back to the corner of the classroom with the band. A number of yellow hand-drawn signs, each bearing the song's title, have been plastered on the walls. Rachel's cardigan and shirt are both unbuttoned, and the shirt is tied to expose generous cleavage and a black bra, both of which are displayed prominently as she gets up in the low angle camera.
(singing) I'll feed you grapes and
Cut to a hallway. Rachel is there in the schoolgirl outfit holding another book.
(singing) Dandelion Wine,
she whips out a second book from behind her back
(singing) And we'll read a little Fahrenheit 69.
She spanks herself with both books at once.
(spoken) You're a prolific author, Ray Bradbury
Cut to a handwritten directional sign reading: RAY BRADBURY BOOK SIGNING. Pan to a line of enthusiastic fans holding books; Rachel is in the middle in the schoolgirl outfit.
(singing) Come on baby, I'm down on one knee
I carved our names on a Halloween Tree (she produces the book)
Cut back to the classroom corner with the rock trio.
(singing) You write about earthlings going to Mars
Cut back to the classroom minus the rock trio. Rachel hands a xeroxed sketch to the other schoolgirls.
(singing) And I write about blowin' you in my car
The sketch is a hand drawing of a man with his mouth open in delight, hands entwined in the loose dark hair of the woman whose head is buried between his legs. Captions with arrows label these people as (surprise surprise) Ray Bradbury and Rachel.
Reaction shot from the girl in the green alligator sweater. She examines the sketch and starts to remove the sweater with enthusiasm.
(Spoken) You won an Emmy Award for the screen play
Cut to younger Rachel in glasses reading a book under the sheets with a flashlight.
(spoken) adaptation of Halloween Tree
Cut to a shot which slides across the schoolgirls, now all in the hallway and dancing provocatively in near perfect synchronization, and centers on Rachel, also dancing up a storm.
(singing) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cut to Rachel, back in the classroom, lying across the desk with the presentation board behind her. She is shown on her back pedaling her legs in the air, then face-down, humping the desk. Reaction shot from the schoolgirls, who are now appreciatively reading in a number of suggestive poses.
The girl in the green alligator sweater has exposed a black spaghetti strap tank top underneath it, and holds up an "A++++" sign with a lipstick kiss mark on it. She blows a kiss.
(sung) Oh Fuck Me, (fuck me) Ray Bradbury
Cut to Rachel on the desk again, lying on her side doing leg lifts.
Cut to Rachel with the autograph line, licking the autograph in her book.
(sung) S is for Space, L is for love
Cut to Rachel in the corner with the band, looking very very earnest.
(sung) S is for Space,
Cut to Rachel, giving the autograph in the book a serious tongue bath.
(sung) L is for lo-o-o-ove
Cut to a shot from space of the rapidly spinning blue marble that is Earth, with Rachel superimposed in the schoolgirl outfit but wearing a toy space helmet with its visor open. A book cover tumbles across the screen and out of sight.
(sung) S is for Space, L is for love
S is for Space, L is for lo-o-o-o-o-ove
Rapid cuts that show Rachel in the corner with the band waving her arm with great passion, and in the hallway without any backup dancers, then back to space again.
(Spoken) Houston, we have a throb-lem
Rachel makes an exaggerated wink, and a cartoon rocket thrusts its way up from Earth, a cartoon Ray Bradbury sitting astride it and waving as the screen wipes to black.
Cut back to the corner with the band, then the hallway with the backup dancers.
(sung) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
All the backup dancers now also have books, and use them as props as they shimmy and twist.
(sung) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh Fuck Me, (fuck me) Ray Bradbury
Cut back to the band in the corner, then young Rachel under the sheets with the flashlight. Young Rachel snakes a hand down below where the camera is willing to go, looking meaningfully at the camera.
(sung) O-o-oh
Cut to the schoolgirls in the classroom; there is wild unsynchronized dancing happening, with arms up in the air and paper flying everywhere. Rachel is among them. Cut to the hallway, where the previously synchronized dancers are now each doing their own thing and dancing with the book.
(sung) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury (fuck me)
Cut back to Young Rachel under the sheets, eyes half closed and hand working rhythmicly out of frame. Cut back to the autograph line, which appears to have become a conga line or a mosh pit.
(sung) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cut back to wild dancing in the hallway, wild dancing with the schoolgirls in the classroom, wild dancing in the band corner of the classroom.
(sung) Cause when you fuck me
Ray Bradbury
Cut to Rachel alone in the hallway looking serious.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Rachel puts a finger to her lips.
Cut to a handwritten sign, "I Heart Kurt Vonnegut", the camera pans up to show it is written on the t-shirt of one of the schoolgirls. Rachel glares at her and brushes her cheek in a stage slap. The schoolgirl looks hurt and offended. Rachel looks outraged and offended.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to people from the autograph line staring intensely into the camera and clutching their books.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to the corner with the band, and Rachel holding up the book into the camera.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to Young Rachel under the sheets, glasses seriously askew, blinking owlishly at the camera.
(Spoken) And by come, I mean ejaculate on a book.
She fans herself, once, with the book.
The comment at the top of the page at the point I arrived was someone also there via Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, who found the audio hilarious but was blind and therefore unable to see the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG38VcjE770&lc=z134frcp3q2rsrpiu04cervi4liasrtp51s I felt this was a shame.
I also felt that I could do something about that.
(Lyrics via http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Rachel_Bloom:Fuck_Me,_Ray_Bradbury )
A decorative hearts-and-flowers cover star-wipes with a glissando sound effect to what seems to be the bedroom of a teenage girl. Rachel Bloom is flopped on the bed, a book to one side. She wears a thigh-length spaghetti-strap night shirt, pink polka dots with black decorations, with her hair in teenage girl braided pigtails.
She pops to a sitting position, phone in hand.
(singing) Steve called me up and said:
(Steve, a cocky-looking early 20s guy intended to pass for a teenager, wearing a flannel over a t-shirt, slides into the frame on a split-screen.)
(singing) "Wanna hang out tonight?
We could see an indie film or just grab a bite."
Steve nods and looks assured that his date ideas are good.
(singing) I said: "Oh, Steve, you're cute, but a movie's not what I need.
Steve looks very confused.
(spoken) No offence, but I'd rather (singing) stay home and read."
At the word "read," Steve hangs up in disgust.
Rachel picks up the book and uses it to caress her thigh, all the while staring at the camera with a sultry expression.
Diamond wipe to an old-fashioned looking classroom setting. Rachel is now wearing a schoolgirl outfit reminiscent of Britney Spears and stands behind the teacher's desk at the chalkboard, upon which she has written...
(singing) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
She pulls a tri-fold presentation board from behind the desk, with a picture of Ray Bradbury and hand-drawn hearts and the caption:
(singing) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
The classroom is full of desks with other young women in similar schoolgirl outfits seated there. One glances back dubiously at another. A young woman with enormous dark-framed glasses stands by a window, wearing a green sweater with an alligator logo on the left breast, stares at Rachel, avidly taking notes.
Back to Rachel in the front corner of a slightly different classroom with a three-piece rock band.
(singing) Oh Fuck Me,
Cut to another shot of Rachel posing in front of the presentation board and smiling at Ray's picture, then looking back into the camera with an endearing little shrug.
(singing) Ray Bradbury
Cut to a younger Rachel in a home bathroom, brushing her teeth with a light-up green toothbrush.
(singing) Since I was twelve, I've been your number one fan
She turns away to spit out toothpaste, then bobs back up with a book.
(singing) Kiss me, you Illustrated Man.
Cut back to the corner of the classroom with the band. A number of yellow hand-drawn signs, each bearing the song's title, have been plastered on the walls. Rachel's cardigan and shirt are both unbuttoned, and the shirt is tied to expose generous cleavage and a black bra, both of which are displayed prominently as she gets up in the low angle camera.
(singing) I'll feed you grapes and
Cut to a hallway. Rachel is there in the schoolgirl outfit holding another book.
(singing) Dandelion Wine,
she whips out a second book from behind her back
(singing) And we'll read a little Fahrenheit 69.
She spanks herself with both books at once.
(spoken) You're a prolific author, Ray Bradbury
Cut to a handwritten directional sign reading: RAY BRADBURY BOOK SIGNING. Pan to a line of enthusiastic fans holding books; Rachel is in the middle in the schoolgirl outfit.
(singing) Come on baby, I'm down on one knee
I carved our names on a Halloween Tree (she produces the book)
Cut back to the classroom corner with the rock trio.
(singing) You write about earthlings going to Mars
Cut back to the classroom minus the rock trio. Rachel hands a xeroxed sketch to the other schoolgirls.
(singing) And I write about blowin' you in my car
The sketch is a hand drawing of a man with his mouth open in delight, hands entwined in the loose dark hair of the woman whose head is buried between his legs. Captions with arrows label these people as (surprise surprise) Ray Bradbury and Rachel.
Reaction shot from the girl in the green alligator sweater. She examines the sketch and starts to remove the sweater with enthusiasm.
(Spoken) You won an Emmy Award for the screen play
Cut to younger Rachel in glasses reading a book under the sheets with a flashlight.
(spoken) adaptation of Halloween Tree
Cut to a shot which slides across the schoolgirls, now all in the hallway and dancing provocatively in near perfect synchronization, and centers on Rachel, also dancing up a storm.
(singing) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cut to Rachel, back in the classroom, lying across the desk with the presentation board behind her. She is shown on her back pedaling her legs in the air, then face-down, humping the desk. Reaction shot from the schoolgirls, who are now appreciatively reading in a number of suggestive poses.
The girl in the green alligator sweater has exposed a black spaghetti strap tank top underneath it, and holds up an "A++++" sign with a lipstick kiss mark on it. She blows a kiss.
(sung) Oh Fuck Me, (fuck me) Ray Bradbury
Cut to Rachel on the desk again, lying on her side doing leg lifts.
Cut to Rachel with the autograph line, licking the autograph in her book.
(sung) S is for Space, L is for love
Cut to Rachel in the corner with the band, looking very very earnest.
(sung) S is for Space,
Cut to Rachel, giving the autograph in the book a serious tongue bath.
(sung) L is for lo-o-o-ove
Cut to a shot from space of the rapidly spinning blue marble that is Earth, with Rachel superimposed in the schoolgirl outfit but wearing a toy space helmet with its visor open. A book cover tumbles across the screen and out of sight.
(sung) S is for Space, L is for love
S is for Space, L is for lo-o-o-o-o-ove
Rapid cuts that show Rachel in the corner with the band waving her arm with great passion, and in the hallway without any backup dancers, then back to space again.
(Spoken) Houston, we have a throb-lem
Rachel makes an exaggerated wink, and a cartoon rocket thrusts its way up from Earth, a cartoon Ray Bradbury sitting astride it and waving as the screen wipes to black.
Cut back to the corner with the band, then the hallway with the backup dancers.
(sung) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
All the backup dancers now also have books, and use them as props as they shimmy and twist.
(sung) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Oh Fuck Me, (fuck me) Ray Bradbury
Cut back to the band in the corner, then young Rachel under the sheets with the flashlight. Young Rachel snakes a hand down below where the camera is willing to go, looking meaningfully at the camera.
(sung) O-o-oh
Cut to the schoolgirls in the classroom; there is wild unsynchronized dancing happening, with arms up in the air and paper flying everywhere. Rachel is among them. Cut to the hallway, where the previously synchronized dancers are now each doing their own thing and dancing with the book.
(sung) Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury (fuck me)
Cut back to Young Rachel under the sheets, eyes half closed and hand working rhythmicly out of frame. Cut back to the autograph line, which appears to have become a conga line or a mosh pit.
(sung) The greatest Sci-Fi writer in history
Cut back to wild dancing in the hallway, wild dancing with the schoolgirls in the classroom, wild dancing in the band corner of the classroom.
(sung) Cause when you fuck me
Ray Bradbury
Cut to Rachel alone in the hallway looking serious.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Rachel puts a finger to her lips.
Cut to a handwritten sign, "I Heart Kurt Vonnegut", the camera pans up to show it is written on the t-shirt of one of the schoolgirls. Rachel glares at her and brushes her cheek in a stage slap. The schoolgirl looks hurt and offended. Rachel looks outraged and offended.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to people from the autograph line staring intensely into the camera and clutching their books.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to the corner with the band, and Rachel holding up the book into the camera.
(sung) Something Wicked This Way Will Come
Cut to Young Rachel under the sheets, glasses seriously askew, blinking owlishly at the camera.
(Spoken) And by come, I mean ejaculate on a book.
She fans herself, once, with the book.
no subject
no subject
Apparently he was very flattered but declined the invitation, although he said he was very tempted...
no subject
That's got to be a particularly alarming moment...
no subject
no subject
no subject
One question - you mention in your transcription the girl in the green sweater. Are you sure that isn't supposed to be the teacher? I mean, she's standing at the back, with no pretense of a uniform, taking notes and then handing out an A+ grade, and with the glasses and all...
no subject
I hadn't thought about that, because Sexytiems High School so rarely has any authority figures who aren't actively involved in the banging...
no subject
Though I gotta say, Ray isn't my choice for greatest sci-fi writer in history. I mean, he's up there, but.