Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2020-04-23 02:25 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2020-04-23 02:25 pm
Entry tags:
Gendered language meme
That gendered language meme that's been going around. I've added a few.
It/its: Not unless you're an actual alien from outer space who doesn't understand human genders.
She/her: I will barely tolerate it from people who haven't been informed, and people who are going off my ID card. (I have not taken advantage of the ability to put X on my ID card, because I am reasonably apprehensive of it marking me for special awful treatment from assholes.)
He/him: Inaccurate. It matches so badly with my presentation that I'm likely going to assume that whoever is calling me that is doing so for a bad purpose, or really doesn't understand anything. On the other hand, sometimes more tolerable than she/her if those are the only two options, since it's so completely wrong.
They/them: Correct.
Neopronouns: Not offensive, but not mine.
Mr: Same as he/him: incredibly incorrect.
Mx: Not offensive, but only if it's the only non-gendered option.
Miss: Offensively incorrect.
Ms: Less offensive than Miss.
Ma'am: I appreciate that you're a service employee and this is a knee-jerk reflex.
Sir: Same as above.
Mistress: If we've negotiated that relationship we'll both know it. Or we're at a renfaire.
Master: Same, except backwards in a tux. (I had to add this one.)
Captain: Do I look like I have a starship? I do not have a starship. Please give me a starship, and then we'll talk.
Dr: Last I saw the internet wasn't an accredited institution giving out doctorates, but I will accept my doctorate of Internet Shit, minoring in Fandom.
Rev: I got that ULC ordination before I knew I was NB, but it's become very useful. (I had to add this one.)
Pal, buddy, friend, comrade, folks, etc: Some of them assume more social closeness than I'll accept from just any ol' person, but they're appropriately non-gendered. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRfKdNxIOcQ
Dude, bro, bruh: In California these can be non-gendered when addressing non-gendered people.
Sis: Only from acknowledged siblings.
Cousin or prima/primo: I don't know prima/primo, but in my case it's probably primx. Dai stiho, Cousin.
Sib: Only from acknowledged siblings.
Boi: I'm a little less butch than that.
Boy: I'm definitely a little less butch than that.
Girl: No.
Lady/ladies: In this household, that means one or both of the cats.
Terms of Endearment (hon, sweetie, darling): Only from people whose culture it is to call everyone that. But not random avuncular straightdudes.
"Feminine" compliments (pretty, beautiful, etc): Since my presentation is fairly femme (except for the shoes, which are butch AF unless I'm on wheels) I'll allow it. Except from gross dudes.
"Masculine" compliments (handsome, etc): I find them baffling, but same exclusions as above.
Neutral compliments (cute, attractive, cool, etc): Thank you. (Except the gross dudes.)
It/its: Not unless you're an actual alien from outer space who doesn't understand human genders.
She/her: I will barely tolerate it from people who haven't been informed, and people who are going off my ID card. (I have not taken advantage of the ability to put X on my ID card, because I am reasonably apprehensive of it marking me for special awful treatment from assholes.)
He/him: Inaccurate. It matches so badly with my presentation that I'm likely going to assume that whoever is calling me that is doing so for a bad purpose, or really doesn't understand anything. On the other hand, sometimes more tolerable than she/her if those are the only two options, since it's so completely wrong.
They/them: Correct.
Neopronouns: Not offensive, but not mine.
Mr: Same as he/him: incredibly incorrect.
Mx: Not offensive, but only if it's the only non-gendered option.
Miss: Offensively incorrect.
Ms: Less offensive than Miss.
Ma'am: I appreciate that you're a service employee and this is a knee-jerk reflex.
Sir: Same as above.
Mistress: If we've negotiated that relationship we'll both know it. Or we're at a renfaire.
Master: Same, except backwards in a tux. (I had to add this one.)
Captain: Do I look like I have a starship? I do not have a starship. Please give me a starship, and then we'll talk.
Dr: Last I saw the internet wasn't an accredited institution giving out doctorates, but I will accept my doctorate of Internet Shit, minoring in Fandom.
Rev: I got that ULC ordination before I knew I was NB, but it's become very useful. (I had to add this one.)
Pal, buddy, friend, comrade, folks, etc: Some of them assume more social closeness than I'll accept from just any ol' person, but they're appropriately non-gendered. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRfKdNxIOcQ
Dude, bro, bruh: In California these can be non-gendered when addressing non-gendered people.
Sis: Only from acknowledged siblings.
Cousin or prima/primo: I don't know prima/primo, but in my case it's probably primx. Dai stiho, Cousin.
Sib: Only from acknowledged siblings.
Boi: I'm a little less butch than that.
Boy: I'm definitely a little less butch than that.
Girl: No.
Lady/ladies: In this household, that means one or both of the cats.
Terms of Endearment (hon, sweetie, darling): Only from people whose culture it is to call everyone that. But not random avuncular straightdudes.
"Feminine" compliments (pretty, beautiful, etc): Since my presentation is fairly femme (except for the shoes, which are butch AF unless I'm on wheels) I'll allow it. Except from gross dudes.
"Masculine" compliments (handsome, etc): I find them baffling, but same exclusions as above.
Neutral compliments (cute, attractive, cool, etc): Thank you. (Except the gross dudes.)
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re prima/primo: I understand 'Latinx' is deprecated bc screenreaders and that community has nominated as replacement 'Latine'. So by analogy, to gender-neutralize prima/primo, we get something that's inevitably going to be read as an unrelated word.
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I was discussing a similar issue with another nonbinary friend
By analogy, then, "promi" or "prami" would be a possible option. I'd be in favor of "promi", but your mileage may vary.
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(...I would accept Riov, even though I do not have a Warbirb, because I would assume someone was counting the several pixel starships from STO. ...if you get a starship, can I visit?)
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Honestly, especially after you get the transporter biofilters reprogrammed.
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This made me laugh aloud! :D