NOPE (therapist)

[azurelunatic]

It being 2 weeks from my last appointment, I had another therapist round. Computer wasn't loading Teams, so I emailed her to inform, and she called me. That took about 5 minutes.

At 1:15, I said that the session was done.

In that time, I'd expressed my relief at getting answers in the x-ray, grumpiness about the most likely source of the injury, and combined triumph and exasperation at my meds routine. In adding "The Wheel of Pain" (7 day med wheel, 8 ibuprofen @ 200mg each, 3 cyclobenzaprine, and 3 half-tablet acetaminophens, with the schedule written on the back and old sticky Tic Tacs for "food") I realized I needed a med tracker app now. And it feels like half my day is pills now.

My ex therapist. Said. That it was a good thing? That I was using my powerful logistics skills? To make my own life better? Instead of using it for other people?

That was the point where I said that I thought the session was over. Bye.

I closed the Twitter tab I was on, closed the DW update box, and called Scheduling to request a new match. One with less focus on positivity.

By the time that was done, I had an email with an apology saying that she'd misstepped and should have used empathy instead of trying to find the positive side. I guess she can use that insight on her next disabled client.


Edited to add: earlier in the day, the passenger door failed to unlock for Belovedest. Car is at the shop now.

Comments

[swingandswirl]

Goodness, I'm sorry. Crossing fingers toes and eyes that the next therapist is a better fit.

[pauamma]

You're the best judge of which reaction to her (serious indeed) misstep was proper. Good luck finding a better suited one soon.

[ankaret]

Good riddance, and I'm sorry you had to deal with any of that fuckery.

[sine_nomine]

Oy. So sorry you had to deal with that!

At the risk of being too positive for you can I just note that I am impressed at how fast you shut it down, kbew what you required, and reached out about it? I don't know that I could have done that

[princessofgeeks]

So glad you are getting a different therapist. Jeez Louise.

[konsectatrix]

Oh good job with shutting that mess down, yeesh!

I hope you find someone better suited and they came away with a well learned lesson.

[silveradept]

Oof. Hoping your next match is a better match. And that the car door gets situated well.

[ironymaiden]

This! I probably would have spent the time until the next session stewing about it and then tried to talk it out... but at the end of the day it's a business transaction. No need to pay for shit you don't want. I love it

[redsixwing]

Wow. >< Hoping both those situations get remediated quickly.

[hashiveinu]

Gah. She can shove her reframing where the sun doesn't shine.

[azurelunatic]

Dreamwidth was surprisingly instrumental in that! The phrase I used at the last appointment was that I didn't appreciate blowing sunshine up my ass, and I made a locked post grumbling. I had two weeks to think about it, and was just cranky enough to decide that at the first instance this time, I was going to react.

So I did.

[azurelunatic]

Thank you.

[azurelunatic]

She had been on notice since the previous appointment.

[azurelunatic]

EXACTLY.

She seemed otherwise fine, but finding the positive side, when I already have been relentlessly finding the positive side, is extremely inappropriate for my situation.

[azurelunatic]

I'd already stewed about it; this was appointment 4. On appointment 3 I'd told her that this was not a situation to blow sunshine up my ass.

[pauamma]

*nod*

[synecdochic]

Oh for fuck's sake.

[azurelunatic]

This one additionally seemed to fixate on the idea that I'm a woman doing everything for everybody else and nothing for myself. Current actual status, I can sometimes just about manage loading or unloading the dishes, and occasionally I produce a meal (the other night was mild butter chicken with zucchini and long yellow squash that needed using up)

[azurelunatic]

I expect that I'll get a call sometime next week to try and pair me with a new therapist.

Auto shop is keeping the car over the weekend, having failed to make it reproduce the problem.

[ofearthandstars]

Oh, yikes. Glad you took initiative on finding a new match.

[vass]

My ex therapist. Said. That it was a good thing? That I was using my powerful logistics skills? To make my own life better? Instead of using it for other people?

What.

The HELL?

That was the point where I said that I thought the session was over. Bye.

I greatly admire your awareness of your own boundaries and willingness to enforce them promptly and firmly. May you have less occasion to need to use those skills.

[vass]

Ah yes, that type of therapist. May she find a stable supply of clients with the only issue she knows how to treat, and have nothing to do with everyone else.

[azurelunatic]

I think she is not yet aware that I am finding a new therapist.

[azurelunatic]

Thank you.

[sine_nomine]

Well done! I hadn't realized you had, in a previous session, expressed that direction was not what you were seeking. But, even if you had not, I am impressed with your self care, and send empathy for bad therapists.

[sine_nomine]

This.

[sine_nomine]

Amen.

[konsectatrix]

Oh well!

But no, seriously, I hope you find someone who better suits your needs.

[ephemera]

Ugh! Kudos to you for noping out of that situation graciously and immediately, and not getting completely de-railed on the whole idea of trying to find someone else to work with!

[kaberett]

(... unsolicited advice alex: Dosecast is the least hateful thing I've tried so far.)

[azurelunatic]

Useful information, thank! Alas, I discovered an Incompatibility within the first moment of using (if you enter Medication A as a morning medication, and you are trying to start your whole tracking system in the afternoon, it will Forbid you from marking it taken for the day and you must start it Tomorrow) and deleted it in a fit of rage.

There was an app more highly rated than Medisafe, but looking at the reviews, it seems like the devs spend more time on complaining about bad reviews than working on the app. (The featured review said something to this effect, and the response from the app maker was an indignant statement that the user should be grateful because the app was so highly rated, and a conspiratorial grumble that the app store was not treating them fairly because all the reviews seemed to be unfavorable.)

[kaberett]

... oh DEAR. Yes, I've only ever used the at-intervals settings; I regret it was rage-inducing for you.

[synecdochic]

also the thing where you're not a woman!

[azurelunatic]

I'm not sure if I got into that with any detail with her, because it ought to be up front and center in my medical record. I know I've been specific about my partners' and housemate's genders (or lack thereof). (We can tell whether we're talking about a human type person or a companion type creature by the pronoun. All the pets are she/her, the humans are they/them or n/a.)

[azurelunatic]

It was a very fast rage. ^_^

[devon]

I start taking meds in the afternoon, which is my morning. that seems like a really arbitrary way to create an app. I don't know any apps because I'm old school with those giant plastic pill minders that have 4 slots per day. I have two of them so I only have to sort pills twice a month.

[azurelunatic]

I don't know if it would have always had a problem with retroactive logging, but it was very clear that it was Past the Scheduled Time and therefore I Could Not.

I also have my personal mornings in the clock afternoons more often than not, and I am using a few pill minders, but it's got to the point where I need external poking now that I'm going through the OTC painkillers to establish whether or not they'll work on my hips. I need my meds app to start nagging me first thing no matter when I get up (as long as it's about 8+ hours after my last set of half-day pills).

First there are the ADHD meds, that if I happen to be awake in the actual morning I should take. Those are in the lives-in-bed organizer so I don't lose track, because I don't have timer caps yet.

When I get up, more or less:
* track my sleep quality for my psychiatrist
* inhaler
* 8am or noon set of ibuprofen (Wheel of Pain)
* 11am acetaminophen (Wheel of Pain)
* 8am cyclobenzaprine (Wheel of Pain)
* blood test
* 20 pills from organizer
When I eat, 4 more pills from organizer (2nd compartment if I've moved the weekly box to the 4 compartment organizer)
* 2nd ADHD pill, ideally around noon but no later than 4pm
* noon ibuprofen, possibly
* track joint pain for primary care
(2 hours)
* cyclobenzaprine and ibuprofen, 4pm, from the Wheel of Pain
* acetaminophen, 5pm

* evening pills, only 10, from the main organizer, roughly 8pm if I'm on schedule
* ibuprofen from the Wheel of Pain
* after I've eaten enough, evening pills #2, four of them, from the 4th compartment in the daily organizer if I've bothered to split them out, but I really don't like it that much so I don't always

(roughly 3 hours, give or take)

* 11pm acetaminophen from the wheel of pain
* inhaler again

* bedtime: bedtime pills from the bedtime organizer that lives in bed
* twice a week, shove lady cream

I was doing all right on this with just the 6 organizer compartments until adding in the pain regimen.

[devon]

Ugh, so much going on! I can see you were well-organized before the extra pain pills. I have been through a couple of periods like this where a bunch of extra meds were heaped onto my regular set. I hope it doesn't last too long for you.

(I probably should have had a tracker app after my surgery a year ago, but we just used a phone alarm and a big piece of paper to check off all the shit I took.)

[azurelunatic]

At minimum, it's likely to go on until the next time I see my doctor, and/or when I get the MRI. Post-surgical painkillers I typically do on paper too! I have a system, but that's only good for about a week until it starts falling apart (the system more than the paper).

[azurelunatic]

My flabber was gasted so hard that it dropped angrily into the River and has put up a periscope and gone hunting.

Original entry in Notepad++

[azurelunatic]

01:20 PM Thursday, February 9, 2023
I have requested a rematch for a therapist. Criterion: "Less positivity oriented."

We got about 10 minutes in when she suggested that the bright side of my medical situation(s) was being able to use my skills in simplifying people's life for myself, instead of for others!

At that point, I said that I thought the session was over, said goodbye, hung up, and called scheduling to request someone else, please.