Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-09-17 10:19 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-09-17 10:19 pm
Darkside, balance.
Darkside sensed how very much not-right I was this morning, and allowed me to clasp his wrist when I felt I needed to. I needed to, a lot.
We've been working, he and I, on defining mutually acceptable boundaries, especially regarding physical contact. I doubt, if asked, that he'd phrase it that way, but that's what it is. Hugging shall be rare; sparring shall be according to the moods of both individuals and what they're currently busy with and what they're currently wearing; reach-out-and-touch is for shoulder, arm, especially forearm. Touching of the face, rare; touching of the hair, discouraged for me to do, permissable for him. Kiss: no. Bite: don't even try it. (Interestingly enough, I'm certain that a symbolic bite is more allowable than a symbolic kiss.)
Touching is to be limited; touch too often and there is discomfort. This clause of the rules is the most difficult to pin down. If Darkside's in a grumpy mood, there is little physical contact. If I am upset, he generally allows my sense of propriety as well as the ground rules to determine the level of physical contact. If I am too withdrawn to reach for him, he will initiate physical contact; it is up to me to maintain it, and determine when I no longer need a friendly hand. When we're both happy and silly, bystanders occasionally inquire after our health and continued functioning, because it occasionally looks like we're about to kill each other, in the most friendly way.
Blows:
Leg (away from genital area)
Kick Ass (occasional, playful)
Torso (he attempts to evade hitting my breasts)
Neck Nerve Pinch (also a non-combatative touch when no pressure or minimal pressure is applied; it counts as a shoulder-touch)
Strangle (hands around throat)
Strangle (arm around throat: rare, only when playful)
Bonk (head)
Mercy
Arm-Wrestling
assorted nerve pinches (the current favorite is on the inside of the upper arm between the two major muscles)
Upper-arm punch (used as punctuation as well as combative)
Most of the above attacks are only used when in a playful mood. The head-bonk is a classic way of bringing me back from a depression, however, and the upper-arm punch is often employed by me as a response to a bad pun. The low-pressure neck nerve pinch is a sign of affection from me, and is an acceptable substitute for hug or kiss.
We've been working, he and I, on defining mutually acceptable boundaries, especially regarding physical contact. I doubt, if asked, that he'd phrase it that way, but that's what it is. Hugging shall be rare; sparring shall be according to the moods of both individuals and what they're currently busy with and what they're currently wearing; reach-out-and-touch is for shoulder, arm, especially forearm. Touching of the face, rare; touching of the hair, discouraged for me to do, permissable for him. Kiss: no. Bite: don't even try it. (Interestingly enough, I'm certain that a symbolic bite is more allowable than a symbolic kiss.)
Touching is to be limited; touch too often and there is discomfort. This clause of the rules is the most difficult to pin down. If Darkside's in a grumpy mood, there is little physical contact. If I am upset, he generally allows my sense of propriety as well as the ground rules to determine the level of physical contact. If I am too withdrawn to reach for him, he will initiate physical contact; it is up to me to maintain it, and determine when I no longer need a friendly hand. When we're both happy and silly, bystanders occasionally inquire after our health and continued functioning, because it occasionally looks like we're about to kill each other, in the most friendly way.
Blows:
Leg (away from genital area)
Kick Ass (occasional, playful)
Torso (he attempts to evade hitting my breasts)
Neck Nerve Pinch (also a non-combatative touch when no pressure or minimal pressure is applied; it counts as a shoulder-touch)
Strangle (hands around throat)
Strangle (arm around throat: rare, only when playful)
Bonk (head)
Mercy
Arm-Wrestling
assorted nerve pinches (the current favorite is on the inside of the upper arm between the two major muscles)
Upper-arm punch (used as punctuation as well as combative)
Most of the above attacks are only used when in a playful mood. The head-bonk is a classic way of bringing me back from a depression, however, and the upper-arm punch is often employed by me as a response to a bad pun. The low-pressure neck nerve pinch is a sign of affection from me, and is an acceptable substitute for hug or kiss.