Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-07 06:44 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-07 06:44 pm
Family vs. Votania vs. Boyfriend
For fucking ever, Votania's mother has ruined Votania's romantic relationships. This hasn't been by disapproval, or outright forbidding of relationships, but instead by too much maternal involvement. Votania's mother comes down heavily and gooshily all over the relationship, giving Votania so much overdone maternal lovingkindness that eventually Votania breaks up with the guy to save her own sanity.
Enough is enough.
For the past coming up on two years, Votania's mother has had a new situation to wrap her mind around: cute little Azz. Irresistable force? Immobile object? Votania's mother now addresses her eldest daughter by her legal name, her name-of-preference, and has convinced the rest of the family to begin doing the same. Furthermore, she thinks it was her idea. Odd, then, that the words I heard coming from her lips in speaking with the rest of the family were those same words I used, edgily, upon her...
Votania was concerned, rightfully so, about the prospect of Thanksgiving at her mother's house with a boyfriend. (Yep,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
votania and marxdarx are dating!!) Her mother makes life with a boyfriend hell.
I pointed out one key thing: she's never had a family holiday, a boyfriend, and me all in the same place before. Votania brightened a little at the prospect, and said that it was true; it was like I had some sort of power over her mother or something.
I identified it: I show, more consistently and effectively, my love and caring for Votania than her own mother does, and her mother knows it. And somewhere within that dysfunctional family structure, Grandma does love Votania. It probably grates that I get along better with Votania than she does... and, consequently, I am a Good Example, and my advice is taken seriously.
Thanksgiving's going to be interesting. We'll see if Votania's mother backs off on her own. If she doesn't, it'll be time to give her a compassionate kick in the metaphorical pants and improve her relationship with her favorite daughter some, if she chooses to accept the advice.
Enough is enough.
For the past coming up on two years, Votania's mother has had a new situation to wrap her mind around: cute little Azz. Irresistable force? Immobile object? Votania's mother now addresses her eldest daughter by her legal name, her name-of-preference, and has convinced the rest of the family to begin doing the same. Furthermore, she thinks it was her idea. Odd, then, that the words I heard coming from her lips in speaking with the rest of the family were those same words I used, edgily, upon her...
Votania was concerned, rightfully so, about the prospect of Thanksgiving at her mother's house with a boyfriend. (Yep,
votania and marxdarx are dating!!) Her mother makes life with a boyfriend hell. I pointed out one key thing: she's never had a family holiday, a boyfriend, and me all in the same place before. Votania brightened a little at the prospect, and said that it was true; it was like I had some sort of power over her mother or something.
I identified it: I show, more consistently and effectively, my love and caring for Votania than her own mother does, and her mother knows it. And somewhere within that dysfunctional family structure, Grandma does love Votania. It probably grates that I get along better with Votania than she does... and, consequently, I am a Good Example, and my advice is taken seriously.
Thanksgiving's going to be interesting. We'll see if Votania's mother backs off on her own. If she doesn't, it'll be time to give her a compassionate kick in the metaphorical pants and improve her relationship with her favorite daughter some, if she chooses to accept the advice.