Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-16 11:33 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-10-16 11:33 pm
*sigh*
Too tired to be working on anything other than bed right now.
In summary: masturbation when lonely makes things worse, not better, though does do things for the immediate craving of sex.
Trillian is still not connecting. Brat.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evealone stopped by and gave me hugs. Hugs are good things.
My dentist appointment is the morning of next Thursday, and then we will see about fixing the things that doubtless happened to the teeth between the time of my last dentist appointment and now. Amazingly, there was an appointment open... wow.
I may, however, be a little understandably crabby on next Friday, the day that Darkside and Dawn graduate.
I'm unhappy right now, with no clear cause. It's late. Alcohol usually affects my moods upwards, even during a depression, and I haven't had much. Votania's mood may be spilling over. I'm evidently On Call as clergy at the moment.
I'm going to miss Darkside, and seeing him every day. That may be what's hurting the most. I have tomorrow morning, Friday, and then Monday. Monday is his last final. His only final: Benes offered him a choice: take a final early, or take an average of his test grades for the final grade, as Benes' scheduled final is Wednesday, and senior grades are due Wednesday. As Darkside's test grades have been nice and high, Darkside's either going to wind up with an A or a B on his final, depending how close some of the grades were. That leaves Social Issues & Technology.
Dammit.
I hope he comes and visits often. I'm really going to miss seeing him at school. It's not half as agonizing as having a friend move away to another state, to perhaps never meet again, as a kid, but my lack of my own transportation makes me feel nearly as helpless. He now knows he's welcome to come by, but will he ever?
I don't want to lose him as a friend. Realistically, rationally, I know that unless I do something to him that makes him dislike me, I'm never going to alienate him, but it's not just his friendship, but the closeness that I treasure. I don't want that to go away.
So that's why I'm crying.
In summary: masturbation when lonely makes things worse, not better, though does do things for the immediate craving of sex.
Trillian is still not connecting. Brat.
evealone stopped by and gave me hugs. Hugs are good things. My dentist appointment is the morning of next Thursday, and then we will see about fixing the things that doubtless happened to the teeth between the time of my last dentist appointment and now. Amazingly, there was an appointment open... wow.
I may, however, be a little understandably crabby on next Friday, the day that Darkside and Dawn graduate.
I'm unhappy right now, with no clear cause. It's late. Alcohol usually affects my moods upwards, even during a depression, and I haven't had much. Votania's mood may be spilling over. I'm evidently On Call as clergy at the moment.
I'm going to miss Darkside, and seeing him every day. That may be what's hurting the most. I have tomorrow morning, Friday, and then Monday. Monday is his last final. His only final: Benes offered him a choice: take a final early, or take an average of his test grades for the final grade, as Benes' scheduled final is Wednesday, and senior grades are due Wednesday. As Darkside's test grades have been nice and high, Darkside's either going to wind up with an A or a B on his final, depending how close some of the grades were. That leaves Social Issues & Technology.
Dammit.
I hope he comes and visits often. I'm really going to miss seeing him at school. It's not half as agonizing as having a friend move away to another state, to perhaps never meet again, as a kid, but my lack of my own transportation makes me feel nearly as helpless. He now knows he's welcome to come by, but will he ever?
I don't want to lose him as a friend. Realistically, rationally, I know that unless I do something to him that makes him dislike me, I'm never going to alienate him, but it's not just his friendship, but the closeness that I treasure. I don't want that to go away.
So that's why I'm crying.
no subject
no subject
Much fun.
I need to be touched when I'm lonely... but by certain people. Myself not included.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject