Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-07-17 07:48 am
azurelunatic) wrote2001-07-17 07:48 am
The Jumping Monkey
Once upon a time, when I still lived in Alaska, in the deep dark depths of the middle of October when BJ and I were moving out of our rented cabin and back into the loving households of our respective parents until we could move to Arizona for college, there was a plastic box filled with interesting toys that were Azz's.
Now, many of these toys were battery-operated. Azz had taken the batteries out of each and every one of these toys, packed them back in their plastic box, and had tossed the whole thing into a very large cardboard box containing most of Azz and BJ's clothes. The box was then sealed with duct tape.
Now, BJ's father had a pickup truck, and was assisting in this move. This great huge cardboard box was sitting in the middle of the walkway between living room and bedroom, and getting in the way. So Azz hauls it to the middle of the living room, where it will still be in the way, but to a much lesser degree.
As she's hauling it, things inside slip and fall and crash and tumble (muffled within the layers upon layers of clothing and such) and suddenly, from deep within, there is heard this sudden and intense rattling noise.
"What the hell is that?" asks BJ's nosy and noisy little brother.
Azz makes up a story about a goddamn jumping monkey stuffed animal, one that every now and then turned itself on. The only thing to do, since the duct tape was so well sealed, was to wait for the batteries to run themselves down, or to wait for it to turn itself off.
Then Azz went into the bedroom and started packing with her back to the door, to avoid showing BJ's brother and dad how very red her face was...
...BJ's dad knew damn well what it was, and he laughed his ass off.
Now, many of these toys were battery-operated. Azz had taken the batteries out of each and every one of these toys, packed them back in their plastic box, and had tossed the whole thing into a very large cardboard box containing most of Azz and BJ's clothes. The box was then sealed with duct tape.
Now, BJ's father had a pickup truck, and was assisting in this move. This great huge cardboard box was sitting in the middle of the walkway between living room and bedroom, and getting in the way. So Azz hauls it to the middle of the living room, where it will still be in the way, but to a much lesser degree.
As she's hauling it, things inside slip and fall and crash and tumble (muffled within the layers upon layers of clothing and such) and suddenly, from deep within, there is heard this sudden and intense rattling noise.
"What the hell is that?" asks BJ's nosy and noisy little brother.
Azz makes up a story about a goddamn jumping monkey stuffed animal, one that every now and then turned itself on. The only thing to do, since the duct tape was so well sealed, was to wait for the batteries to run themselves down, or to wait for it to turn itself off.
Then Azz went into the bedroom and started packing with her back to the door, to avoid showing BJ's brother and dad how very red her face was...
...BJ's dad knew damn well what it was, and he laughed his ass off.
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"what the hell is that?"
"it's a damn monkey that turns itself on!"
"what a bad monkey! somebody should spank that monkey!"
roflmao!
Heh...
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Just be glad it wasn't an airplane...
The way I've heard it, a bomb is far more likely to vibrate than tick. It has happened on a number of occasions that someone's bag began to vibrate as it was loaded onto the plate... a lot of embaressed women out there are pretty embaressed when they forgot to take the batteries out...
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That would be so incredibly humiliating.
Unless, of course, you were an exhibitionist, and enjoyed the look on the faces of the people as they discovered that no, it was not a bomb, but someone's vibrating personal toy....
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And I thought *I* needed a lifetime supply of batteries.
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Never run out of Dew
Never run out of batteries.
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[/evil]
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M'love would get tea or cola, then. But he's not a toy.
*wonders if my Pretty likes Dew*