Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-11-13 12:37 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-11-13 12:37 am
More blithering
Dawn suggested that Marx get together with all of us and his grandparents and have a before-Thanksgiving dinner thing. Votania liked the idea. I don't think Marx was so taken with it.
Ghaa, I wish I had a logic-tracking argument program to put this all into. The way I'm summing it up, it sounds like it should fit into one...
I really wish that he either got along better with his mother (unlikely, given her nature) or that he would come to the same realization that Votania has about hers. It's all too clear to an outsider that when someone is abusive, even if they make nice in between, that they aren't going to change, that things are always going to be that way, that emotional abuse is just as toxic as physical abuse, only it doesn't leave scars that can be seen with the normal eye, that someone who is only nice when they get their way is not nice at all... but to someone in that situation, it's always more complex.
It hurts me when my friends hurt. It hurts me when I have to make decisions that hurt my friends in the name of self-preservation. It hurts me to realize that when bending over backwards to make others comfortable for so long, I was doing worse damage to myself than I could have done to them by making them uncomfortable.
I cannot yet dine peaceably with an enemy who is also the unacknowledged enemy of a friend.
Ghaa, I wish I had a logic-tracking argument program to put this all into. The way I'm summing it up, it sounds like it should fit into one...
I really wish that he either got along better with his mother (unlikely, given her nature) or that he would come to the same realization that Votania has about hers. It's all too clear to an outsider that when someone is abusive, even if they make nice in between, that they aren't going to change, that things are always going to be that way, that emotional abuse is just as toxic as physical abuse, only it doesn't leave scars that can be seen with the normal eye, that someone who is only nice when they get their way is not nice at all... but to someone in that situation, it's always more complex.
It hurts me when my friends hurt. It hurts me when I have to make decisions that hurt my friends in the name of self-preservation. It hurts me to realize that when bending over backwards to make others comfortable for so long, I was doing worse damage to myself than I could have done to them by making them uncomfortable.
I cannot yet dine peaceably with an enemy who is also the unacknowledged enemy of a friend.