azurelunatic | Note for roommates:

Added note: Don't bother threatening to call. If you need to call somebody in order to deal with her, just DO it. Telling her you're going to make the call is just going to make her worse, or make her dive under cover. Just call me; it seldom takes me long to straighten her out. :) She's got both my daytime and evening #s.

First.... I swear to you that I did not read LJ at all this weekend. I first opened LJ this morning to make my entry and then play catch up with my own friends list.

Second... I have

crisavec's friends' page bookmarked, but I have not friended his friends because I prefer to read you guys separately (due to high volume etc). I don't read his friends all that often... unless I'm curious. Well, I guess I got curious about you (both) again.

Third.... This is really REALLY weird shit. This particular post just confirmed to me that I did dream what I thought I dreamt last night (scroll down to the end) and that it WAS very likely about you (Azz).

In short, there was a lightning storm raging through most of my dreams last night. As my dreams would shift to something different, the lightning would return/follow. I remember being absolutely frozen with fear... until I heard the voice telling me that the blue lightening (which was supposedly the most dangerous) was absorbed by the topaz. The topaz was referring to the color of the other "protector" (for lack of a better word) lightning, not the gemstone. My dream self was comforted, but still tense, because I "knew" that the topaz lightning was

iroshi. What I didn't include in my post earlier.... was that the blue lightning was frying people. Not killing them... just HURTING them... a LOT. There were 3 people...adults... two females and a male that were getting targeted by this electrical storm. But the lightning didn't just strike and then disappear like normal lightning bolts, it would "target" them and stay rooted on them for what seemed like hours. I was in the distance "watching" this... and cowering behind something, terrified. I could smell burnt hair & flesh... I could "hear" their pain. I remember thinking, "There are no lightning storms in Alaska! I'm not used to this. Storms are COOL.... not scary! Why am I scared?! Why isn't it stopping??!" But at the same time, the topaz lightning was "absorbing" most of the energy of the blue and that is what kept it from actually killing the people.

My dreams kept shifting last night... amazingly enough I remember almost all of them. But throughout... again and again... the lightning. Electrocuting these 3 individuals..... no mercy... no letting up....as if the lightning was sentient.

As if the lightning was sentient...... THAT is what clued me in that it was probably not a random dream.... not just because it was called blue lightning and it was DANGEROUS... but because it KNEW I was watching.

Can you confirm this? Am I way off base or is there anything to this?

Third.... This is really REALLY weird shit.

Nah. This is pretty low on the weird shit meter, darlin'. This is just basic connection-via-dream. Hardly weird at all. ^_^ (Which yes, will then make you run wiggly-iggly wondering what I consider REALLY weird shit.) This does fall under the *category* of Weird Shit, most definitely. But it's pretty much the introductory basic level thereof: connections and unconscious or astral interactions.

I cannot confirm the 3 females and 1 male portion. I do not know who else was at the Temple at the time Azz felt like she was hurting other people. Mainly she felt like she was hurting Votania, and that she should have known better, so essentially her unconscious mind interpreted that as having done it deliberately, and that made her a bad person. So yeah, some part of her was thinking in terms of deliberately causing pain like what you saw.

It's not accurate in the sense of it's not energetically, psychically, or spiritually what actually happened --Azz wasn't actually giving off harmful energy, and there wasn't anything I needed to absorb-- but on the other hand, it is very, very accurate in the sense of it being a pretty damn good portrayal of what I think Azz's subconscious *thinks* of herself as. And since, given the last circumstances of what happened in your dream, what is likely going on is actually Azz communicating with you rather than you dreaming of what truly happened...it's a True Communication, yes. That is what Azz felt was happening, which is why she felt so much guilt over it, which caused a large portion of the Error Function that I then had to correct.

Okay, revision: This is really weird shit for ME! heh

As far as Azz & Votania, I didn't realize that she thought she had "hurt" her roommate. I don't always read her journal chronologically... I just happened to see today's entry and made assumptions (which I need to stop doing). I wasn't certain of the details of her situation... just that what I dreamt last night had very much an Azz feel to it.

On a completely unrelated note... I saw a "Windwalker" brand kite at Costco the other day and thought of you. It was in the shape of a tiger. :-)

I saw a "Windwalker" brand kite at Costco the other day and thought of you. It was in the shape of a tiger. :-)

Should've thought of Chris, then. Tiger is one of my husband's totems, not mine. I have hawk, wolf, cougar, and deer. He has hawk, wolf, tiger, and bear. :)

Oh, the animal isn't what made me think of you... it was just the name. I didn't know you had animal totems.. that's a big thing up here with the Native Alaskan culture. I've always wanted to have my totem done but was afraid I'd end up with puppy dog or scowling badger or somesuch. hehe

BTW, thanks for responding to my questions (concerns? thoughts?).... it's been very helpful.

Um. Weird question: would you say that the two women were rather like each other, or rather different?

I couldn't tell you with any certainty... I'm still trying to figure out how I knew there were 2 females & 1 male from the distance I was away.

Mkay.

Thanks anyway.

Perhaps because it was a bit of information that my down-deep mind was aware of, but the upper layers weren't?

I dunno.... all I know is that I've been trying to find a nice way to say this but there isn't a nice way. So I'll just say it....

You scared the shit outta me last night!! I remember being terribly frightened until figuring out that it (the lightning) wasn't going to hurt me.

Could ya maybe give me some warning next time?? Mebbe? Please? heh

I hadn't the foggiest I was even going to be dreaming at you. I still have no awareness of it...

...I can reconstruct it, from what you said, but I still don't know how I'm doing it...

So the dream made sense to you? You Recognized it?

Yes. Unfortunately.

The one with the building, I Recognized immediately.

This one with the lightning... yes, but not as clearly; it was, as Iroshi said, happening on a layer somewhere under my mind, one I'm not quite so well in touch with... the only reason the dream with Darkside was Recognized quite so well is because I relate to him the same on all levels. He is a high point of stability in my life.

This one... neep.

I suppose the only way to even start to do that would be to leave a comment in your journal every time I had a Really Bad Day.

Nah, that is kind of a pain (for you).... I was thinking more like a "high sign" just so I can recognize you each time. It still comes as such a surprise to me (this connection thingie)... maybe if I was more prepared it wouldn't be so disconcerting.

Hm.

Since I'm not aware of doing all this, it would have to be embedded somewhere very deep down in my mind.

You may be getting a dream tonight, unfortunately.

I appreciate the warning... really, I do.

Today.... all day I felt almost as if I were having waking dreams. Not daydreaming... but haunted by the images of last night. I could close my eyes and instantly have the dream images in my mind... vivid and as REAL as it felt when it was happening.

Hm. Looks like

iroshi and Marah are going to have another little Talk.

Thank you for putting up with all of this, and I'm sorry for involving you...

You didn't involve me... I involved me. Don't feel as if you have to apologize for the choices that other people make.

Who is Marah? Talk... can you elaborate?

I feel as though I involved you by broadcasting the stuff to where you'd pick it up in your dreams. But then, you were the one who chose to follow through...

In case you hadn't heard, there's more than one of me rattling around in here. I'm the primary personality,

garnetdagger is another, and then there's Marah, and someone else who prefers to remain anonymous at the moment.

My thoughts on the matter (feel free to correct me) are that if you didn't need/want someone to listen, you would not have broadcasted "on that frequency"... Do you know what I'm getting at here? And yes, it was my choice to contact you about it and follow up. How could I not?

The fact that you've established a route to me once before for a "non-essential" meandering..... I think that was a set up for more important things to come.

Mebbe? Yesno??

I do probably need someone who can listen to the things I can't see for myself.

Darkside used to do that for me. I don't see him often enough any more for him to do that.

I miss him.

And it seems likely that the first dream was a confirmation-thing, a "test signal"...

If I could figure out how to set up filters or shields I would... but I've never been able to maintain them when sleeping... only while awake.

I'll see what I can do on this one.

But if you see red lightning tonight, don't be surprised, and don't worry: it's not aimed at you.

Red??

For anger, distrust, suspicion, Knowledge, and I daresay a little hatred.

This of course leads me to the silly notion that you should wear a red rose in your lapel so that I'll Recognize you.... But of course, you are often without lapels, or apparel (not naked... but in other lapel-less forms). Okay, now I'm just getting goofy... I need bed.

I'm going to sleep now... perchance, to Dream.

Not a bad idea.

Though I'll likely show up as or with a wild rose in some form.

And speaking of connections... it seems to me that last night's dream was much MUCH stronger than the previous one. Almost as if you'd bypassed a link and had a direct interface this time.

I really don't know.... I'm going on pure instinct here and I am so ignorant about all this stuff that really I could be just talking out my rear end. Just telling you my impressions... you can make of it as you will.

It would have had to be a direct connection, because the former relay link is down pending further information.

I have a good idea who the three would be.

Look what I found!

Huh..... was it really a year ago??

yep. Ran into it entirely by accident -- I was reading the posts from January and February 2003, to see what had happened then. Then I'll need to go back to 2002...

I'm entirely too prolific a writer.

Made sure they knew.

Doubt it's going to get that bad again for a while.

Note for roommates:

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