Ghaaaa.

[azurelunatic]

I am almost certain I had an erotic dream.

*sigh* Can I never fall that hard in absolute bedrock LUST with the available ones?

Comments

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's "safer" with the ones that aren't available.... the ones that can't hurt you. That's been my experience anyways.

[azurelunatic]

That's how it used to be with me.

But then... Shawn. Get crimmycat to tell you what he's like sometime. She got to see him after he calmed down, mind you, at about 20 or so. I fell in love with him at 15, and then he and I sort of got together at 17...

He was unavailable at 15. I acknowledged that loving him was safe, if frustrating and at times painful... he could never truly hurt me.

Only then he did. I don't know if you've ever sat on the phone with someone while they were attempting suicide. I don't suggest it for a good time. I didn't even know that this was what he was doing; I just knew something was Wrong. He tried to overdose. He had a *very* bad trip, and dragged me with him, on the phone from Alaska to Colorado.

I still stutter, some, talking about this.

After that, his getting together with me, then getting engaged right out from under me was ... well, it wasn't just icing on the cake, but it was hardly as bad as it could have been.




I'm careful to fall for the ones who never would hurt me, now.

[agent139.livejournal.com]

dreams can be used as a means of setting out a beacon for manifesting things in waking.

or so i'm told.

[azurelunatic]

Hm. Would be interesting if it did happen.

[stronae.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world. :) Only, my problem is that it's not just contained to lust....

[azurelunatic]

I fall in love with some of the unavailable ones too: see entries pertaining to the subject "Darkside", whoever that is.

In this case, though, it's a nice strong friendship with a more-than-healthy dose of LUST involved.

[stronae.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yeah, you're right. Though his source of unavailability is... weird.

[azurelunatic]

Very weird.

But in the case of the LUST I was talking about, the guy in question has the nickname "Mr. Shallow" for when I want to talk about him behind his back without identifying him with his normal persona. I'm not cute enough, and he'd never date me... he has ethics, and those prevent him from doing anything more than friendly exchanges of backrubs and occasionally saliva.

[stronae.livejournal.com]

Saliva and back rubs? Well, at least you're in better shape than I am....

[azurelunatic]

I suppose. It's still disappointing, though, when you and someone are making out hot and heavy... and then they STOP.

[stronae.livejournal.com]

I remember a similar situation a few years go, where nothing further really could have developed. So, we elected to make out for like, four hours. We were *tired*. :)

[azurelunatic]

Mmm, sounds like fun...

I miss Mr. Shallow.

[azurelunatic]

Heh. I seriously think Darkside cares about me too much to date me.