Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-03-23 03:14 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-03-23 03:14 pm
that scary feeling
...I shouldn't feel so lonely when Darkside mentions that he's going out and having fun with other friends. Especially when he doesn't get to see these friends any more often than twice a year. I wouldn't feel so bad if he and I did that sort of thing regularly... but we don't.
I'm not very good at organizing 'go out and have fun' events, and Darkside's not very good at it either. I'm great at organizing 'stay in and have fun' things. He's not very good at having time in his schedule for stuff. Logically, I know that he has and does reorganize his schedule for stuff that I plan -- the Halloween thing, for example: he shuffled his schedule so he could stay way late. And he had fun.
I just don't get to see him enough. So I wind up feeling hurt when other people get to spend time with him and I don't, even though on the whole I spend more time with him than most people do. It's just not enough.
I'm not very good at organizing 'go out and have fun' events, and Darkside's not very good at it either. I'm great at organizing 'stay in and have fun' things. He's not very good at having time in his schedule for stuff. Logically, I know that he has and does reorganize his schedule for stuff that I plan -- the Halloween thing, for example: he shuffled his schedule so he could stay way late. And he had fun.
I just don't get to see him enough. So I wind up feeling hurt when other people get to spend time with him and I don't, even though on the whole I spend more time with him than most people do. It's just not enough.