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[azurelunatic]

It's not about the art. I know my capabilities. I have been a good artist before, excellent for a high school student, and I can be again, after I get my hands accustomed to laying out in line and color what I feel and see.

That post was self-pity, no more and no less, which is why the comment was deleted without response. When I'm in a mental place where a child interrupting me can shut me down and send me into my room with the door locked, something's not right.

votania's relayed comment about the Temple's energy sounded like an accusation, in that mindframe. I personally haven't been cleansing the Temple as a whole. I personally have only been trying to keep my room clean and happy, keep the Temple physically clean. Never mind the "household happiness" candles I have been burning. They obviously haven't been doing anything...

I feel guilty for having taken yesterday off and not cleaned like hell in everyone's absence, now. I could have. I should have. I didn't.

So I feel like I suck.


...I'm leaving comments on. Comments that are of the "It's not so bad as it seems... you can do this!! <3 I know you can!!!" nature, especially with the helpful advice, by people who don't know this side of me well... they will probably wind up deleted.

Marah's out. Trust me, you don't want her replying to those...

Comments

Re: actually

[amberfox.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, a lot of people seem to be extra-touchy lately. It's making it harder on all of us, I think.

Re: actually

[azurelunatic]

Been trying to ground it all out. I need my Blonder Half...

Re: actually

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

She's right. We ALL have. Chris and E and I all had this big stress thing weekend. And then E and I tried to have a session with candle wax last night and discovered that I really don't have enough trust in her abilities as a Master yet to deal with that. Big crying session, and much venting. But lots of talking and dealing and such, so good for that, but going to be stressy few days, and already was to begin with. Been a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad week.

::::::::::::::::::::ZEN HUGS::::::::::::::::::::

Re: actually

[azurelunatic]

Yeah. I need to talk to Darkside soon. He was still not home yet when I called this evening.