Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-08 06:12 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-08 06:12 pm
*sigh* The Corner, and other Places of Doom
Little Fayoumis has been having a spurt of Not Listening, or Not Remembering, or whatever you care to call it.
He'd gotten grounded from my room a while ago, for picking up stuff that shouldn't have been touched, much less moved; today I decided to allow him to come back in.
He's in that stage where he's all into rules, but only the rules that he comes up with, and not the rules that other people have. He knows he's not supposed to open my door, or come in my room without permission. Today, he opened my door (the door was shut to keep Eris in) to talk to me. I told him he was supposed to always knock.
Then, after asking me to vacuum, he not only opened my door, but barged right into my room without asking permission to retrieve the vacuum cleaner.
For that, he got grounded from my room, and grounded from vacuuming; he had to stay on the bed while I vacuumed the house. He loves vacuuming, or racing around shooting at me while I vacuum. Told him that if he broke the rules trying to do something he wanted to do, he did not get to do what he wanted to do while he was breaking the rules in order to do it.
I thought that was going to be all. Vacuuming with me was going to be a treat after he finished reading his book (which he did very well; he still does need to work on identifying Y and y, but he's picked up the trick I've been teaching him about going through the whole alphabet to find out which letter something is; he's still inserting phantom T, D, N, and L sounds, and mixing up t and l in words) but he broke the rules and he didn't get that treat.
The board with the schedule of Stuff to Get Done has been working well. Little Fayoumis suggested the standard that black writing is for stuff that needs to get done that is for chores, and red could be for stuff to do that is fun. We've embraced that, and it is all good.
After he and I finished reading the book together, he wrote "V" up on the board with a checkbox. "It says video here," he said. "I need to watch another video."
"Little Fayoumis, you only get one video a day," I told him. "That is the Rule. No matter what is written on the board. Erase that now."
And he did.
Earlier, he and I had gone to the Fitness Center, and I'd worked out and he'd done a few stretches, while busily attempting to boss me around. (If he'd had weaker-minded parents, they'd be wrapped around his finger by now, and he'd be a spoiled brat. As it is, he's just very high-energy, but relatively cooperative. At least for me.) The apartment manager stopped in and asked me if I was going to be home later, as they were going to come and install the blinds in the west bedroom.
Little Fayoumis and I had been planning on going swimming, but that changed those plans, and I told him so.
Then he asked me about something else that we could do outside. I repeated that no, we were going to stay here until the lady came to put in the blinds.
Next, he came to me to help him put his helmet on. I figured out the clasp, and asked him what he was going to do when he had his helmet on. "Go outside and play skateboard!"
This time, I told him that I was getting mad about him asking to go outside, since we had already discussed how we were NOT going to go outside until the lady came and put in the blinds.
I retreated to my room and closed the door.
Knock knock knock. At least he's got that part down.
"What is it?" (I have learned that phrase, with that tone of voice, from Darkside.)
"I was wondering... could we maybe go... groceries?"
"You have NOT been listening. We are NOT going outside. Corner."
When he came out of the corner (after a suitable amount of crying), I asked him if he knew why he had been sent to the corner.
"Because I asked you... groceries?"
"That's not quite it. Because going to get groceries is GOING OUTSIDE, and I TOLD you, we are NOT going outside until the lady comes and puts in the new blind!"
I began ticking the points off on my fingers. "Until she comes, we are not going to go swimming, we are not going to have a picnic, we are not going to play with your skateboard outside, we are not going to go get groceries, we are not going to go visit![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ralmathon, we are not going to go visit yaksha42, we are not going to school, we are not going to visit Darkside... ...Do I make myself clear?"
He nodded.
"Now. It is your turn to go in there" (I indicated his room) "and play with your toys quietly until it is time for dinner."
So far, quiet. Peace and quiet.
He'd gotten grounded from my room a while ago, for picking up stuff that shouldn't have been touched, much less moved; today I decided to allow him to come back in.
He's in that stage where he's all into rules, but only the rules that he comes up with, and not the rules that other people have. He knows he's not supposed to open my door, or come in my room without permission. Today, he opened my door (the door was shut to keep Eris in) to talk to me. I told him he was supposed to always knock.
Then, after asking me to vacuum, he not only opened my door, but barged right into my room without asking permission to retrieve the vacuum cleaner.
For that, he got grounded from my room, and grounded from vacuuming; he had to stay on the bed while I vacuumed the house. He loves vacuuming, or racing around shooting at me while I vacuum. Told him that if he broke the rules trying to do something he wanted to do, he did not get to do what he wanted to do while he was breaking the rules in order to do it.
I thought that was going to be all. Vacuuming with me was going to be a treat after he finished reading his book (which he did very well; he still does need to work on identifying Y and y, but he's picked up the trick I've been teaching him about going through the whole alphabet to find out which letter something is; he's still inserting phantom T, D, N, and L sounds, and mixing up t and l in words) but he broke the rules and he didn't get that treat.
The board with the schedule of Stuff to Get Done has been working well. Little Fayoumis suggested the standard that black writing is for stuff that needs to get done that is for chores, and red could be for stuff to do that is fun. We've embraced that, and it is all good.
After he and I finished reading the book together, he wrote "V" up on the board with a checkbox. "It says video here," he said. "I need to watch another video."
"Little Fayoumis, you only get one video a day," I told him. "That is the Rule. No matter what is written on the board. Erase that now."
And he did.
Earlier, he and I had gone to the Fitness Center, and I'd worked out and he'd done a few stretches, while busily attempting to boss me around. (If he'd had weaker-minded parents, they'd be wrapped around his finger by now, and he'd be a spoiled brat. As it is, he's just very high-energy, but relatively cooperative. At least for me.) The apartment manager stopped in and asked me if I was going to be home later, as they were going to come and install the blinds in the west bedroom.
Little Fayoumis and I had been planning on going swimming, but that changed those plans, and I told him so.
Then he asked me about something else that we could do outside. I repeated that no, we were going to stay here until the lady came to put in the blinds.
Next, he came to me to help him put his helmet on. I figured out the clasp, and asked him what he was going to do when he had his helmet on. "Go outside and play skateboard!"
This time, I told him that I was getting mad about him asking to go outside, since we had already discussed how we were NOT going to go outside until the lady came and put in the blinds.
I retreated to my room and closed the door.
Knock knock knock. At least he's got that part down.
"What is it?" (I have learned that phrase, with that tone of voice, from Darkside.)
"I was wondering... could we maybe go... groceries?"
"You have NOT been listening. We are NOT going outside. Corner."
When he came out of the corner (after a suitable amount of crying), I asked him if he knew why he had been sent to the corner.
"Because I asked you... groceries?"
"That's not quite it. Because going to get groceries is GOING OUTSIDE, and I TOLD you, we are NOT going outside until the lady comes and puts in the new blind!"
I began ticking the points off on my fingers. "Until she comes, we are not going to go swimming, we are not going to have a picnic, we are not going to play with your skateboard outside, we are not going to go get groceries, we are not going to go visit
ralmathon, we are not going to go visit yaksha42, we are not going to school, we are not going to visit Darkside... ...Do I make myself clear?" He nodded.
"Now. It is your turn to go in there" (I indicated his room) "and play with your toys quietly until it is time for dinner."
So far, quiet. Peace and quiet.
no subject
no subject
I couldn't do without him now.
Happily for me, those sorts of exchanges are nice and reasoned, and I like them far better than I do exchanges with smaller kids who are too young to argue or understand properly.
no subject
Hell, it's hard for me, in the spring, and I *know* all the good reasons for me to be in class, like "if I don't go to this class and listen I will have to learn the material later, and it will take several times as long, and I don't have that kind of time" and "if I don't go to this class and look like I'm listening, it will look like it's my fault instead of my teammate's that he didn't do any work".
It's even harder when the reasons aren't clear/aren't yours.
When I was an adolescent, I decided thta the reason adults tell kids what to do all the time is so that when they grow up, there will be advantages to balance out having to do the taxes :D
Good things about growing up:
Being allowed to eat all the candy you want to
Playing with fire!
Sex, but that's supposed to be a secret conspiracy, as far as I can tell you're not actually supposed to look forward to it ;)
This message has been brought to you by a very sleep-depped steph. (Up 23 hours now!)
no subject
He must use a condom
Preferably with spermicide
He must be doing it in a safe location (home is OK, bushes behind school where they could get caught, NOT OK...)
Drugs/alcohol should NOT be involved (a little bit of alcohol, maybe OK, but not more than a little, or Wrath Of Gods And Mommy)
No getting anyone pregnant
No contracting or passing STDs
Informed consent of all parties
People in monogamous relationships not with him are off-limits
...and so forth.
I'd so have been sunning myself just outside the front door with a book and the door wide open this afternoon, except for those pesky cats...