Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-11 12:53 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-11 12:53 am
Lag Time
For the general information of all:
Darkside and I operate on a deep communications lag at this point. I talk with him once a week or less frequently. On very, very good weeks, I talk to him four times a week. On bad weeks, I do not talk to him at all.
The burden of communication is upon me. I am the one interested and motivated to maintain contact. He is accustomed to a very low level of contact with old friends; he sees some of his friends once or twice a year, tops. Most of his old friends he never sees. He's completely lost contact.
I'm the one who leaves messages on his family voicemail. I'm the one who puts random e-mails there for him to find. I'm the one who attempts to show up on his doorstep on weekends. He drops by every now and then, say if it's a birthday, or a holiday.
Thus, if something's going on, unless it's something lifeshattering in my life (like when my soulsister wound up in the hospital), I'm unlikely to hear from him outside of the usual times.
If there's something going on in his life, he doesn't tend to discuss it much without much prompting. He's silly that way.
So I'm unlikely to hear anything more from him about the whole Air Force thing until the next time we get to talk, which, depending on his schedule and my timing in calling him, could be either Saturday, or a month from now...
Darkside and I operate on a deep communications lag at this point. I talk with him once a week or less frequently. On very, very good weeks, I talk to him four times a week. On bad weeks, I do not talk to him at all.
The burden of communication is upon me. I am the one interested and motivated to maintain contact. He is accustomed to a very low level of contact with old friends; he sees some of his friends once or twice a year, tops. Most of his old friends he never sees. He's completely lost contact.
I'm the one who leaves messages on his family voicemail. I'm the one who puts random e-mails there for him to find. I'm the one who attempts to show up on his doorstep on weekends. He drops by every now and then, say if it's a birthday, or a holiday.
Thus, if something's going on, unless it's something lifeshattering in my life (like when my soulsister wound up in the hospital), I'm unlikely to hear from him outside of the usual times.
If there's something going on in his life, he doesn't tend to discuss it much without much prompting. He's silly that way.
So I'm unlikely to hear anything more from him about the whole Air Force thing until the next time we get to talk, which, depending on his schedule and my timing in calling him, could be either Saturday, or a month from now...
no subject
no subject
I understand his stance on communications. He communicates with me as much as he feels he needs to. He has Issues, and I'm trying to build up his confidence that he actually, for once, has a friend who will communicate back to the point where he feels comfortable in actually initiating communication himself. It's not bothering me as much as it might, because of how thoroughly he and I can get into each other's heads.
no subject
He doesn't feel that his life is important enough to be shared about, and he doesn't say much when he does share.
I have let him know, repeatedly, that I would like it if I heard from him more. Results? No change, although he has let me know what his schedule is like so that I will be able to contact him at appropriate times. That's actually quite a big thing, coming from him.