Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-05-14 08:55 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2001-05-14 08:55 pm
Marriage Vows
The One True Gentleman says it's going to come back to bite me on the butt, and I agree with him.
Once upon a time, when I was young and silly (about a year ago) I decided that I was completely in love with a certain young man and decided to marry him.
We made vows to each other, that, by our life and our heart, we would be each other's. Forever.
It turned out that I wasn't the right woman for him, and he not the right man for me. We released each other from the vows, and fortunately we'd not made any promises that we'd be exclusive.
They're going to come back to bite me in the ass, those vows are.
Once I dreamed that I would be forever miserable without this man, that his breath and mine were linked, combined, together forever.
That person, the person who was me, is me no longer. I still recognize that self when I see her in my journals, the mirror of my journals, but that is no longer me. I was her, but I'm not anymore. I'm not the same girl I was two months ago.
It's still going to come back and bite me in the behind.
I don't know what form it's going to take, but I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what goes around comes around. Perhaps someone who means a great deal to me will grow beyond being friends with me, and that'll kick me where it hurts. Perhaps it will take a more subtle form.
I don't wish I could unsay those vows. I don't wish I could make them never happen. I do wish I could have waited, made lesser promises, or none at all, and still ended up where I am today.
If you like where and who you are now, how can you rewrite yesterday?
Once upon a time, when I was young and silly (about a year ago) I decided that I was completely in love with a certain young man and decided to marry him.
We made vows to each other, that, by our life and our heart, we would be each other's. Forever.
It turned out that I wasn't the right woman for him, and he not the right man for me. We released each other from the vows, and fortunately we'd not made any promises that we'd be exclusive.
They're going to come back to bite me in the ass, those vows are.
Once I dreamed that I would be forever miserable without this man, that his breath and mine were linked, combined, together forever.
That person, the person who was me, is me no longer. I still recognize that self when I see her in my journals, the mirror of my journals, but that is no longer me. I was her, but I'm not anymore. I'm not the same girl I was two months ago.
It's still going to come back and bite me in the behind.
I don't know what form it's going to take, but I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what goes around comes around. Perhaps someone who means a great deal to me will grow beyond being friends with me, and that'll kick me where it hurts. Perhaps it will take a more subtle form.
I don't wish I could unsay those vows. I don't wish I could make them never happen. I do wish I could have waited, made lesser promises, or none at all, and still ended up where I am today.
If you like where and who you are now, how can you rewrite yesterday?
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