Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-15 09:58 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-04-15 09:58 am
A little piece of my mind
I want to have a few words at Malfoy Senior.
I understand that you're actively encouraging that Darkside join the Air Force. Are you aware of his feelings on the subject?
Let me tell you a little about what can happen when you're working a job you hate. My father hated his job for the last two to three years he worked there. He would come home grouchy, and wake up in the middle of the night vomiting. He was cross about going to work in the mornings, and everyone around him tried to avoid him. Especially his wife. And his kids.
My father didn't feel that he could leave his job, because it was a good, secure job that paid well, and it would not be wise to take up a new job since, as a self-taught old-school programmer, he lacked the minimum credentials that even entry-level programmers require.
What makes you think that Darkside would do well in the military? Have you ever shut your mouth and listened to what he thinks of it?
I think that if I were in your shoes, I might give my adult son credit his self-knowledge and honesty in admitting that a particular career is something he would not like, perhaps even hate, and I would support him in finding something that would not only utilize his new skills, but that he would enjoy. He already has a stable, dependable job that will see him through until he does find a real career; he has proven many times over that he can tenaciously stick to any thankless task, as he is possibly even more stubborn than you are. Do NOT pressure him into leaving a job he is secure in, though he dislikes, to take a job he would feel guilty for leaving, even though he hates it. Dislikes is not necessarily hates. Your son dislikes his current job. He has had enough experience with the military in his childhood to form a valid opinion of it.
Your son does desire your good opinion. He does desire a good job that pays well, has security, and is something that he enjoys doing. After leaving his former job, my father threw out or gave away all his computer developer tools. I do not want to see Darkside's joy in computers spoiled that same way.
Ease off. Even though you are trying to help, you are not helping when you push him towards something he has repeatedly, and firmly, said that he does not want. I would far rather, and think you would too, that he spend his spare time and energy searching for a job that does suit him, rather than fighting you. He wasted a morning recently meeting with the Air Force, even though he didn't want to, because it would shut you up and, I QUOTE, "buy him more time".
There are other computer-related jobs in the US government than in the military. The IRS is always looking for a few good programmers, and your son is steady and reliable. The FBI's computer crimes division is based in Phoenix. One of their agents came in and spoke about security a few months ago. He and I were both enthralled. Don't waste your time butting heads with him. Suggest things he may not have thought of.
It hurts me to see him so constantly frustrated. The economy sucks. I hope he finds a good job that he likes soon.
I understand that you're actively encouraging that Darkside join the Air Force. Are you aware of his feelings on the subject?
Let me tell you a little about what can happen when you're working a job you hate. My father hated his job for the last two to three years he worked there. He would come home grouchy, and wake up in the middle of the night vomiting. He was cross about going to work in the mornings, and everyone around him tried to avoid him. Especially his wife. And his kids.
My father didn't feel that he could leave his job, because it was a good, secure job that paid well, and it would not be wise to take up a new job since, as a self-taught old-school programmer, he lacked the minimum credentials that even entry-level programmers require.
What makes you think that Darkside would do well in the military? Have you ever shut your mouth and listened to what he thinks of it?
I think that if I were in your shoes, I might give my adult son credit his self-knowledge and honesty in admitting that a particular career is something he would not like, perhaps even hate, and I would support him in finding something that would not only utilize his new skills, but that he would enjoy. He already has a stable, dependable job that will see him through until he does find a real career; he has proven many times over that he can tenaciously stick to any thankless task, as he is possibly even more stubborn than you are. Do NOT pressure him into leaving a job he is secure in, though he dislikes, to take a job he would feel guilty for leaving, even though he hates it. Dislikes is not necessarily hates. Your son dislikes his current job. He has had enough experience with the military in his childhood to form a valid opinion of it.
Your son does desire your good opinion. He does desire a good job that pays well, has security, and is something that he enjoys doing. After leaving his former job, my father threw out or gave away all his computer developer tools. I do not want to see Darkside's joy in computers spoiled that same way.
Ease off. Even though you are trying to help, you are not helping when you push him towards something he has repeatedly, and firmly, said that he does not want. I would far rather, and think you would too, that he spend his spare time and energy searching for a job that does suit him, rather than fighting you. He wasted a morning recently meeting with the Air Force, even though he didn't want to, because it would shut you up and, I QUOTE, "buy him more time".
There are other computer-related jobs in the US government than in the military. The IRS is always looking for a few good programmers, and your son is steady and reliable. The FBI's computer crimes division is based in Phoenix. One of their agents came in and spoke about security a few months ago. He and I were both enthralled. Don't waste your time butting heads with him. Suggest things he may not have thought of.
It hurts me to see him so constantly frustrated. The economy sucks. I hope he finds a good job that he likes soon.
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