azurelunatic | Terrors

Yours- rejection......?
Mine- Love.

Well, specific rejection. What if I managed to piss off Darkside so badly that he didn't want to be my friend anymore?

And love... that makes sense, with you.

Yours = Losing Darkside
Mine = Being alone the rest of my life

More specifically, losing his friendship. 'Cause if he were hit by a train or something, we'd still be friends, he just wouldn't be around in the physical world to interact with meaningfully.

I think that we're essentially afraid of the same thing, only I've found someone to not be alone with.

I have to say that I would think your worst fear would be losing Darkside for good.

Mine...I have too many to list, really. But fear of rejection and of people getting angry at me are two big ones.

Dead-on.

Rejection hurts more when it's the people that really matter versus when it's the people you don't care about. And people getting angry is never a good thing.

*nods* Yes, it hurts immensely when it comes from someone you cares about. Anger and rejection both hurt so badly then, it is like being punched in the stomach repeatedly.

Yeah.

In some cases, I'd almost rather an actual punch in the stomach.

...That did get tested, in fact, and I was able to function better after an actual punch than I was after a solely emotional punch.

Oh, yes. At times, I would prefer a physical punch.

Yours: A horde of howler monkeys whose fur is dyed in Day-Glo colours, all of whom are named Tim.
Mine: Obscene legumes.

In all seriousness, apart from losing

hlynna, I think my greatest fear is being a poseur. To ultimately, when all is said and done, be hopelessly and irrevocably mundane, no matter how wierd a persona I put forth. At this point, I don't think that's the case, but none the less, the fear is there.

If it makes you feel any better, I was absolutely terrified the other day by a sudden vision... Darkside and me, married, quiet, happy, in a little suburban neighborhood, with nothing to distinguish us from any other happy couple.

So. If those obscure legumes were to become abruptly non-obscure, you would run fleeing in terror?

The obscurity of a legume doesn't bother me. It's the obscenity that gives me the screaming fits.

My bad.

...but how can a legume be...

You know, I think I won't ask.

Everyone knows (and several have correctly listed) what your worst fear is. I'm not sure what my worst fear is, honestly. I can think of several, and I am not sure which is "worst". For those who might wonder, Chris isn't anywhere up there. Being my soulmate, after all, means that anything that happens between us is only for this lifetime...we'll be back together again once we die. (Bwahahaha! He cannot escape me! *evil grin*)

Anyway, one of my greatest fears is boredom.

Another fear is that I've made up a hell of a lot of the things that my life revolves around in order to escape the first fear.

Those are the two biggest ones, I think.

The other one, the one that screws up my life the *most*, and that tends to sneak up on me, that only my real friends notice...is that I'm afraid of success. I've been accused of being afraid of failure, but I'm not, really. I'm afraid of success. I know, deep down, that I can succeed at damn near anything that I really try at.

But I've also found that well over 75% of the things that I succeed at turn out to be boring once I've gotten past the challenge of doing them, and they come with responsibilities, and then expectations, and requirements, and...I am seldom able to succeed *twice*, because I'm not capable of really trying *twice*, because...well...I get bored. I'm afraid of success. It usually leads to disaster, for me.

I try to find places where I'm just happy without struggle...

Oh dear. I'm going to have to make my own post on this one, aren't I. You have the damnedest way of asking questions that require a whole post... *sigh*

It's those deceptively simple important ones.

Terrors

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Re:

no subject

Re:

Fears

Re: Fears

Re: Fears

Re: Fears

Re: Fears

Re: Fears

no subject

no subject